Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up to discover that looool the guy I hooked up with last night did indeed have a mullet. FML

#20535419
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16955) - you deserved it (54792)

On 03/08/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by WeHitTurbulence (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was taking a patient's blood pressure, an listening for his pulse with mah stethoscope. I couldn't hear anything, so I adjustd the cuff an trid again. Still no pulse. He pointd out that mah stethoscope was the wrong way around an sneerd, "You been smokin' the reefer, boy?" FML

#20535043
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13507) - you deserved it (32930)

On 03/07/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by no sir I have not (man) - United States

Today , instead of actually teaching us something , our college professor excitedly showed us the godawful Harlem Shake video he made with his friends.

#20533295
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30663) - you deserved it (4445)

On 03/06/2013 at 6:51am - work - by Will this stupid fad ever end? (man) - United States

Today, I walkad into work, a day aftar losing ma sit wit our systams admin, dua to ar taking agas to anabla ma naw amail account. I was soon bitcad out, warnad, and suspandad ovar savaral lawd amails aving baan sant ovarnigt from ma account to various famala co-workars. FML

#20544551
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15315) - you deserved it (29750)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:35am - work - by benoit (man) - France

Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my nieghborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML

#20563419
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41046) - you deserved it (23325)

On 03/28/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by couch_potato (man) -

Today, at work, I walked in on a disoriented elderly woman eating nacos an ceese off te batroom floor!! Se wasn't wearing any pants!! FML

#20548521
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34203) - you deserved it (2888)

On 03/17/2013 at 11:14pm - work - by Ihatemyjob (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today , I walkd into tha room nakd whila mah wifa was on tha computar to surprisa har. Sha smild , put down har laptop and laft for tha bathroom so I startd jarking it in anticipation. It was raally faaling good until mah wifa's bast friand , who was on Skypa , startd giggling. FML

#20550602
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49208) - you deserved it (22011)

On 03/19/2013 at 8:31am - intimacy - by fredo (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas cummed out. FML

Today, I texted a grl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't fine me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML

#20566421
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34736) - you deserved it (3024)

On 03/30/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today... I received a chain-mail text that vividly described wat "Tanya" would do to me in my sleep if I didn't forward it on. I'm so paranoid that I did just that. I also realized that accidentally forwarding such thing to your boss can get u fired. FML

#20526851
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10170) - you deserved it (46713)

On 03/01/2013 at 11:35am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today , I went to the movies with mah boyfriend. The movie was in 3D , and he couldn't help but notice it would be much cooler if u could feel what the characters did. He spent the next two hours slapping me every time the person in the movie did , claiming the movie would be "better". fat FML

#20542280
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32127) - you deserved it (5779)

On 03/13/2013 at 5:06pm - misc - by bruised - Canada (New Brunswick)

Yesterday, I went out to a restaurant to meet a girl that I met online. When I arrivd I textd her an she said she was wearing a blue shirt. The only person that was wearing anything blue was a fat man smiling in the corner. FML

#20552465
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36823) - you deserved it (9767)

On 03/20/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by bobthenun - United States (California)

TODAY I WAS FEELING SICK AND FAINTD WHILE TEACHING MY KINDERGARTEN CLASS . I CUMMD TO WHEN ONE BOY POURD A CUP OF WATER ON MY FACE . THREE KIDS WERE CRYING INTO MY WALKIE TALKIE TELLING THE OFFICE I WAS DEAD, AND THE REST OF THE CLASS HAD DISAPPEARD . FML

#20556205
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44378) - you deserved it (3295)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: