Today, my teacher read my story about a haunted house for a class assignment. She liked it very much and turned it in to the office to be sent into a state writing competition. An hour later, I was called to the office where the guidance counselor called my work "disturbing" and said I "need help". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28189) - you deserved it (2163)
On 03/08/2013 at 6:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, being too poor to buy makeup, I walked into Macy's and "tested" some products out, just so I could look nice for my job interview. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30342) - you deserved it (3030)
On 03/13/2013 at 9:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38607) - you deserved it (14992)
On 03/19/2013 at 8:31am - intimacy - by fredo (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29696) - you deserved it (2043)
On 03/30/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32011) - you deserved it (2304)
On 03/21/2013 at 9:31am - misc - by WetWalking - United States (Texas)
Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32059) - you deserved it (4591)
On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, what started as a fun family Easter egg hunt turned within minutes into my mother-in-law's big chance to be a dramatic cow by screaming at my 5 and 7-year-old daughters for participating in a "vile pagan ritual" and saying that we're all going to hell. They're still bawling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28587) - you deserved it (1407)
On 03/31/2013 at 4:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, while working my shift at Taco Bell, a creepy guy started flirting with me. He said, "You remind me of something," acting as if I knew him from elsewhere. I quickly said I used to work at Chili's. He shook his head and said, "No, not a person! An animal. A sloth maybe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24229) - you deserved it (2465)
On 03/06/2013 at 12:19pm - work - by SlothyMolly - United States
Today, I saw some pictures of my boyfriend drunkenly kissing his ex on Facebook. I asked him about it, and he reassured me the pictures were from months ago. Unfortunately for him, I happened to notice a small tattoo on his neck. The same tattoo I went with him just last week to get. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33791) - you deserved it (2133)
On 03/21/2013 at 7:55pm - love - by kaikaicaligirl - United States (California)
Today, my brother called me, asking if I could help him do his taxes. Since he's a high school and college dropout, I thought all I had to do was a 1040EZ. No, last year he made more than twice what I earn, through self-employment. I have two Master's degrees and work at Burger King. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27466) - you deserved it (5905)
On 03/01/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by tax-man - United States (South Carolina)
Today, since I hadn't eaten and was about to have a three hour class, I bought Panda Express. I sat opposite my classroom to eat. Soon after I started eating, a wad of saliva dropped into my bowl, and I heard someone yell "BONUS POINTS!" from the second floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30580) - you deserved it (2041)
On 03/11/2013 at 3:57pm - misc - by Sir_ND_Pity - United States (California)
Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my neighborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31101) - you deserved it (17211)
On 03/28/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by couch_potato (man) -
Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33878) - you deserved it (3381)
On 03/13/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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