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March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came home to find my fiancé trying to do laundry. His version was "rubbing the smelly spots with baby powder". Looks like I'll be the only one doing laundry for the rest of our lives. FML

#20527738
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26386) - you deserved it (3987)

On 03/02/2013 at 2:23am - love - by 081013 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I tossed half a sausage to a dog sitting beside a park bench. It wasn't until he lunged for it and dragged the man beside him off of the bench that I realized it was a seeing eye dog. FML

#20552676
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29487) - you deserved it (23329)

On 03/20/2013 at 7:53pm - animals - by SolaceInRage (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was yelled at by a customer because I wouldn't give her a new iPhone 5 for free to replace her broken Nokia, which she threw out the window in "blind rage". I felt awful having to thank her for calling. Sadly, this is a daily event. FML

#20559802
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30417) - you deserved it (2292)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, my friend asked to borrow my new laptop to email his college professor. When he returned it, it had a virus on it, and I had to fish out two pubic hairs that were sticking out between the keys. FML

#20559514
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37432) - you deserved it (6943)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:25pm - misc - by grossed out - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, my boyfriend's daughter asked me what would happen if she chose to stop urinating for two weeks. She wanted to know whether it would kill her or just start coming out of her mouth. She's 17-years old, and was deadly serious. FML

#20536217
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33706) - you deserved it (2850)

On 03/08/2013 at 8:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, I was complaining to my husband about a busty but vapid celebrity, and he replied, "She doesn't need brains, honey, she has boobs. You wouldn't understand." FML

#20557361
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32074) - you deserved it (5894)

On 03/24/2013 at 1:14am - love - by Beestings (woman) - United States

Today, I finally got to meet my boyfriend's parents; it turns out that his mum is my therapist. I've just spent an entire morning telling her how confused I am about my sexuality. FML

#20553373
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45655) - you deserved it (5924)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:25am - misc - by me (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

#20550602
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47887) - you deserved it (21518)

On 03/19/2013 at 8:31am - intimacy - by fredo (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, due to a flat tire, I only had 20 minutes to complete a 35 minute walk to catch my train. I ended up sprinting up the snow-covered frozen hill in heels, luggage in hand, only to arrive 1 minute in time, and to find out that the train had been cancelled. Next train in 1 hour. FML

Today, my boyfriend ripped my panties trying to get them off. Not off me, off himself. FML

#20530380
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46014) - you deserved it (5888)

On 03/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nopanties (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I finally got a tattoo of an alchemy symbol that I've wanted for years. I also found out later that symbol stands for urine. FML

#20539190
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8673) - you deserved it (45052)

On 03/11/2013 at 3:43am - misc - by PeeLeg (woman) -

Today, I was freshening up my makeup in the car before a date. An old lady walked by and said through my open window, "Don't bother. There's no helping you, honey." FML

#20559530
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37894) - you deserved it (4073)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by f-ugly - United States

Today, I went to the store for a warranty claim on my prescription glasses due to little spots that had appeared on the lenses, covering both. It took 2 seconds for the employee to determine that it was hairspray. FML

#20534438
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6937) - you deserved it (38565)

On 03/07/2013 at 6:51am - misc - by jmrz - Puerto Rico



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