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March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML

#20564269
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50114) - you deserved it (3526)

On 03/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Hellosinglelife (man) - Trinidad and Tobago (Saint George)

Today, after an argument with my pianist girlfriend about how bad my favourite song would sound on the piano, she stormed out of the room crying, leaving behind a CD. It was the piano version of the song she'd made for me. FML

#20528725
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14333) - you deserved it (76299)

On 03/02/2013 at 10:38pm - love - by douchegamer - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML

#20538233
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48912) - you deserved it (4726)

On 03/10/2013 at 2:50pm - love - by ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall (woman) - Cyprus (Nicosia)

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

#20532616
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44603) - you deserved it (4158)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States

Today, my boss threatened to fire me because of a tattoo I have. It's a small teddy bear on my leg with my parents' names on it. My workplace has no problems with tattoos, but my boss said it was "unoriginal and lame." It's a memorial tattoo; my parents died last year. FML

#20560852
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52682) - you deserved it (3336)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:54am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML

#20562040
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37790) - you deserved it (3660)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:29am - work - by apparentlytoougly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I announced to my family that I got accepted into Harvard. My grandma laughed and muttered, "Liar." FML

#20567796
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41424) - you deserved it (3105)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I'm 5 months pregnant. My 20-year-old boyfriend still refuses to tell his parents because he thinks he'll get in trouble. He thinks we can get away with "never telling them and just hiding the kid." FML

#20536957
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41908) - you deserved it (9800)

On 03/09/2013 at 12:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Pakistan

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

#20558609
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11523) - you deserved it (94117) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/24/2013 at 7:01pm - animals - by BaliTheDog - France

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

#20543184
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20059) - you deserved it (38257)

On 03/14/2013 at 6:52am - health - by jen (woman) - United States

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47439) - you deserved it (3524)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. The movie was in 3D, and he couldn't help but notice it would be much cooler if you could feel what the characters did. He spent the next two hours slapping me every time the person in the movie did, claiming the movie would be "better". FML

#20542280
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35405) - you deserved it (6141)

On 03/13/2013 at 5:06pm - misc - by bruised - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was taking a patient's blood pressure, and listening for his pulse with my stethoscope. I couldn't hear anything, so I adjusted the cuff and tried again. Still no pulse. He pointed out that my stethoscope was the wrong way around and sneered, "You been smokin' the reefer, boy?" FML

#20535043
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14515) - you deserved it (34753)

On 03/07/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by no sir I have not (man) - United States



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