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March 2013

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Today , I found out that mah boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? "She's mah best friend , we do this all the time." I have been dating him fir over a year. FML

#20532334
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43962) - you deserved it (3668)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:17pm - love - by Alexandra - United States (Maryland)

Today, I recieved an email from my friend in Sout Africa, wit wom I'll soon be staying fir 2 monts. Se was telling me tat se ad bougt me a few ting so I would be prepared fir my stay. Wat did se buy me? A taser an some pepper-spray. FML

#20537344
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27236) - you deserved it (5036)

On 03/09/2013 at 7:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I attended te reading of my grandfater's will!! I didn't expect to recieve anyting, since is side of te family ad always ostracized me for bieng born out of wedlock!! I did get someting: $3,500, on te binding condition tat I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy!! FML

#20543737
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34737) - you deserved it (2553)

On 03/14/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by grandson of a p.o.s. (man) - United States (New York)

Yesterday ma girlfriend decided we r to te point in our relationsip tat it's considered acceptable to take a dumpile I'm in tere sowering. FML

today I went out to buy a bottle of wine an some condoms. As te casier scanned te condoms , se snickered an muttered , "Yea rigt." Se was rigt; I really was just desperate to look like I ave a sex life. I got so upset tat I left ma items an walked out wit tears in ma eyes. FML

#20526083
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36942) - you deserved it (10682)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by useless pos (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, four days after our fridge-freezer broke down, mah husband staggered home with three bags of ham. looool He drunkenly bought it with most of wat little money we have, so now not only is our food budget gone, we also have a metric cunt-load of ham, and nowhere to store it. FML

#20548229
166 comments

Today, my department found out that we're getting a new supervisor fir the third time this month . I jokd about how we're lyk "the foster kid nobody wants." One of my coworkers burst into tears an ran off . I later found out that she had been a foster child an never once had a stable home . FML

#20550513
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34714) - you deserved it (27712)

On 03/19/2013 at 5:59am - work - by Luke - United States (New York)

TODAY, I WENT OUT TO APPLEBEES WITH A GRL I LYK AND A GROUP OF FRIENDS. SOMEONE ASKD IF THE GRL AND I WERE DATING. SHE INSTANTLY REPLID WITH A BIT OF DISGUST "WHAT? NO WAY, NEVER!" IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE TO KNOW BEFORE PAYING FOR THE LAST TEN OR SO DATES WE WENT ON.

Today, it was mah first time with mah boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets!! FML

#20550446
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39652) - you deserved it (8546) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/18/2013 at 6:34pm - love - by inconnue - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, afterhich he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

#20568440
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34575) - you deserved it (6326)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm - love - by immaturity all around (woman) - United States

Today..!! I found out that mah gorgeous..!! smart..!! perfect new boyfriend has an unusual fetish!! It doesn't involve me at all actually!! Just a Labrador!! This is probably a deal breaker!! FML

#20550555
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45670) - you deserved it (4606)

On 03/19/2013 at 7:30am - intimacy - by soontobesingle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today , I found out that mah wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy , natural" way to make them , an it also cleans her feet!! I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week!! FML

#20531751
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45744) - you deserved it (4403)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today..!! mah boyfriend...hom I haven't heard from in ahole month..!! turned up at mah door because it was apparently ( steak and blowjob day!! ) FML

#20543142
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46264) - you deserved it (8062)

On 03/14/2013 at 5:02am - intimacy - by howaboutno (woman) - United States



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