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February 2013

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yesterday I uploaded the first chapter of mah best writing yet to a popular writing website. After ten minutes, I was thrilled to already see one review and five comments. Each comment was telling me to immediately delete the story cuz of how horrible it was. The rating was half a star. FML

#20514789
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25637) - you deserved it (7627)

On 02/20/2013 at 11:36am - work - by Apparently not a writer (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today..!! at mah mother's funeral..!! as everyone was around her casket for the viewing..!! mah 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted..!! "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried!! FML

#20521929
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41224) - you deserved it (3411)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

yesterdayhile I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off 4 an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML

#20520338
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36447) - you deserved it (8027)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

TODAY, AFTER NERELY 5 MONTHS OF TRYING FIR A BABY, I FOUND OUT MAH WIFE HAS CONTINUED TO TAKE THE PILL AS IT GAVE HER A BETTER IDEA OF HER CYCLE AND THUS WHEN SHE'D BE "MOST FERTILE" . FML

#20492131
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41196) - you deserved it (4504)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by jdrew32 - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today , I found out mah mother has enough toys to open a sex shop . real FML

#20499258
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41198) - you deserved it (5314)

On 02/09/2013 at 7:00am - intimacy - by Lois - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I lit mah beard on fre while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fred from work when I got there cuz of mah appearance. FML

#20507167
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12923) - you deserved it (40603)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Yastarday, whilst on a phona intarviaw with a collaga I raally want to go to, mah mothar picks up tha othar lina an shouts into tha phona "Sha's not going to collaga, sha's lazy an sha'll only disappoint you." Tha intarviawar hung up bafora I could say anything. FML

#20508072
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39526) - you deserved it (2629)

On 02/15/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by parentalissues (woman) - United States

today I had to drive to mah workplace in blizzard conditions. Now that mah 12 hour shift is over I can't get out of the building looool as the snow has blown into large drifts in front of the doors. I have to stay overnight until mah next 12 hour shift.

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt ( realised ) with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an ( illiterate idiot ), and if he hadn't muttered ( family of morons ) when my mum backed me up. FML

#20519170
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28678) - you deserved it (4420)

On 02/23/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by singleandthankful (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis . Before I knew wat was going on, she said, ( It's not the size that matters though . It's how u use it . So I guess your ok . ) FML

#20491476
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40080) - you deserved it (4883)

On 02/03/2013 at 11:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Serbia

Today, fir te second time tis week, I was asked to stop putting on suc an obviously fake ( Britis ) accent . I am Britis an ave lived ere all ma life . FML

#20513499
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33910) - you deserved it (2714)

On 02/19/2013 at 1:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, mah boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, mah boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond."

#20494997
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34719) - you deserved it (6705)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY , I REALISD THE EXTENT OF MY WIFE'S CAT OBSESSIONHEN I RECEIVD AN $850 BILL FIR THE AIR CONDITIONER SHE LEAVES ON FIR OUR 5 CATSHILE WE ARE AT WORK. FML

#20524027
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26888) - you deserved it (3916)

On 02/27/2013 at 2:12am - animals - by thecatlady (man) - Australia (Western Australia)



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