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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML

#20519764
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31976) - you deserved it (3498)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML

#20508952
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18561) - you deserved it (53647)

On 02/16/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by uhoh (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I tried to give some change to a homeless man. My girlfriend pulled me away and ranted about how homeless people are all basically bastards who deserve their misfortune, and that I shouldn't give "our" money away. FML

#20506599
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28305) - you deserved it (5397)

On 02/14/2013 at 3:06pm - money - by dating a fucking psycho (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen. As I excitedly put it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it like one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable". FML

#20488292
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31609) - you deserved it (4098)

On 01/31/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by whatsername92 (woman) - United States

Today, after being together for only 2 weeks, my boyfriend got me a year's gym membership for my birthday in a card that said, "So u can b hott! Luv u!" FML

#20513755
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28351) - you deserved it (5513)

On 02/19/2013 at 5:47pm - love - by katwingz (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML

#20489333
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27971) - you deserved it (8474)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:53pm - misc - by VMV (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, while driving extremely fast on a road in the middle of nowhere, I started to go down a hill. Noticing a police car at the bottom, I slammed my brakes and blew a tire in the process. It turns out the police car was an old cutout used to trick people. FML

#20520975
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10332) - you deserved it (51178)

On 02/24/2013 at 10:41pm - misc - by Fox - United States

Today, I had a ride along in an ambulance. Being observant, I thought it was funny that a patient had to vomit. That was until I realized they couldn't control where they had to vomit. I spent the rest of the ambulance ride holding a vomit bag in front of the woman's face. Not so funny anymore. FML

#20497764
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6439) - you deserved it (49453)

On 02/08/2013 at 12:45am - work - by Kybo5 - United States (California)

Today, my manager asked me for the password to my Internet so she could Skype family since she can't pay her bill. This is the same woman who just a week ago tried to evict me because my rent was an hour late. Trying to be the bigger person, I gave her the password. She changed my password. FML

#20496640
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30973) - you deserved it (16369)

On 02/07/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

#20500833
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33684) - you deserved it (2634)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:17am - kids - by littlemiss - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

#20493004
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52737) - you deserved it (3420)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I won $50 on the lottery. On the subway home, I checked my pocket to see if the money was still there. A very professional man in a suit yelled, "Hey, that's mine!" I got several dirty glares. I'm such a pathetic wimp that I gave him the money. FML

#20497390
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13036) - you deserved it (50411)

On 02/07/2013 at 7:28pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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