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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my upstairs neighbor has a cat. I was blessed with this knowledge when she threw several piles of used kitty litter and cat poop over her balcony and onto my patio. FML

#20509867
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23901) - you deserved it (1707)

On 02/16/2013 at 7:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I worked up my courage and took an elevator for the first time in my life. Unfortunately, it was also my first time getting trapped for several hours in an elevator. FML

#20507764
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33090) - you deserved it (3349)

On 02/15/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got locked out of my car for an hour in frigid weather at a busy gas station. Every time I tried to use the key, the alarm went off and the locks wouldn't work. The car company claims they've never heard of this happening. I just bought it last week after taking out a 5 year loan. FML

#20513495
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24400) - you deserved it (2182)

On 02/19/2013 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

#20514475
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34699) - you deserved it (4991)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:55am - intimacy - by jealouspussy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom refused to sign me up for a CPR class, reasoning that if I was ever put in a situation where a person was choking, I could save them using my "common sense" and "intellect". I need the class to graduate. FML

#20515292
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28485) - you deserved it (2217)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:32pm - misc - by blob - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML

#20521518
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29178) - you deserved it (3298)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I decided at age 18 that it's time to put into storage the picture books that have been collecting dust in my room for nearly a decade. My mother took this as a sign that I'm planning to move out and abandon her forever, and has been crying for the last four hours. FML

#20490721
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21326) - you deserved it (1576)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:52pm - kids - by NeverEscaping (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finished booking the non-refundable cruise for my wife and I to the Bahamas. I did this after confirming once again that my mother could take care of our son while we're away. An hour after I paid, she called back saying she mistook the dates and can't do it anymore. FML

#20494492
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25984) - you deserved it (2041)

On 02/05/2013 at 2:35pm - misc - by vacationless - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was talking to an attractive guy, but I was so nervous that I got tongue-tied and then blurted out, "Stupid autocorrect." FML

#20501923
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14592) - you deserved it (24706)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by tongue tied - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML

#20505236
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29657) - you deserved it (4732)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to yet again explain to the guy I live with that just because you can't see dirt, it doesn't mean it's clean. And so letting his dog lick the plates is NOT the same thing as washing up. He won't listen to me, and he uses my plates. FML

#20507079
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25990) - you deserved it (2760)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:08pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I called security at my school because I left my mittens in a classroom and it was locked. When the security officer showed up, he asked if the mittens I was looking for were the ones on my hands. I even had to take one of them off to call them. FML

#20493993
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7453) - you deserved it (41583)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by swarm20 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML

#20525434
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26662) - you deserved it (1966)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by she sure has an arm. - United States (Massachusetts)



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