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February 2013

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Today, my dad lost his mind over the meteorite incident in Russia. He's convinced that it's part of some big government conspiracy to cover up a UFO crash-landing, and now he won't stop dismissively calling us "sheep" and telling us "do the research" just because we don't agree with him. FML

#20508499
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18965) - you deserved it (1921)

On 02/15/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by dadsadipshit - United States

Today, I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store because I would not show him my "boobies". A man came up to us and said I should do what my nephew wanted. FML

#20510358
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28248) - you deserved it (3115)

On 02/17/2013 at 3:02am - kids - by Lesser (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

#20513159
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32324) - you deserved it (6281)

On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML

#20495499
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36090) - you deserved it (2896)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I emailed 10 parents inviting them to my son's birthday party. All 10 emailed back saying their kids had to get a cavity filled. FML

#20517380
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26204) - you deserved it (2173)

On 02/22/2013 at 9:51am - kids - by Paris101 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant. The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter, and I thought they were for me. I ate one and a lady came over screaming. Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony. FML

#20503300
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20594) - you deserved it (12236)

On 02/12/2013 at 3:04am - misc - by Thai rice mistake - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to be sexy and change in front of my boyfriend. As I was changing, he started to talk to me about how we should both try and lose weight. FML

#20523139
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26736) - you deserved it (5325)

On 02/26/2013 at 3:26pm - love - by pooh anne (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I downloaded a movie that I already own on DVD, because I was feeling too lazy to get up and fetch it from the living room. I think I've hit rock bottom. FML

#20516729
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8116) - you deserved it (32807) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/21/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by lolo - Israel (HaDarom)

Today, my very conservative mom met my girlfriend, who recently shaved her head in support of her best friend, who has cancer. My girlfriend looks beautiful and feminine even with her still very short hair. My mom, however, keeps insisting that I'm dating "a confused transgender". FML

#20519321
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28152) - you deserved it (1782)

On 02/23/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML

#20520888
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31340) - you deserved it (2844)

On 02/24/2013 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by pissed girlfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a state trooper ticketed me after learning I was ticketed for the same offense an hour earlier, namely driving with a broken headlight. The good news is that both tickets will be dismissed if I go to court. The bad news is that I'd have to go to different courthouses at the same time of day. FML

#20494464
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22508) - you deserved it (2481)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:59pm - money - by halfmypaycheckgone (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had drinks at a friend's house before going out to a concert. I still had a bottle of beer left, so I brought it along with me. I got kicked out five minutes into the show for bringing my own drink, which is apparently against the rules. I paid $75 to get kicked out over a $3 drink. FML

#20496974
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7898) - you deserved it (37291)

On 02/07/2013 at 12:11pm - misc - by loquacious shit stain (woman) - Australia

Today, I was at an estate sale of my neighbor who recently passed. I recognized many items for sale that I had ordered or won on eBay from the past 8 years. Turns out the little old lady had been stealing my mail for close to a decade. FML

#20496903
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32019) - you deserved it (2503)

On 02/07/2013 at 10:24am - misc - by GarageSallin (man) -



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