Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

yesterday a German guy cummd into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd lerend from my immigrant mother and her family, I startd a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turnd out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

#20523889
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27869) - you deserved it (3761)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm - misc - by Jan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found that someone had paid off my $16,500 student loan. I was so excited that I called my family and posted on Facebook about how awesome it was. Then I called the loan company and found out that they had just sold my loan to another company; no one had actually paid it off. FML

#20525305
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25586) - you deserved it (12411)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:19am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was riding my bike, when I saw a large dog sitting in front of a house. I startd to really crank the pedals, figuring that by the time it saw me, I'd be long gone. My chain poppd off, I lost control an crashd onto the side of the road. The dog hadn't movd. It was a statue. FML

#20510258
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22180) - you deserved it (18705)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I mutd the TV just in time to hear mah mom yell at mah dad about how thier sex life is "non-existent". FML

#20517316
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35092) - you deserved it (4390)

On 02/22/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by PoorMe - United States

Taday I woke up to a voice-mail from ma manager saying I ad te day off!! Excitd, I made plans wit ma friends!! A few minutes ago I got a call from ma oter manager yelling at me for not sowing up, and te original manager reveald e ad me confusd wit anoter girl!! real FML

#20491470
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29518) - you deserved it (1833)

On 02/03/2013 at 11:22am - work - by TheBaconater - United States (Wisconsin)

TODAY, I WAS REHEARSING 4 A SCHOOL PLAY. MY DRAMA TEACHER KEEPS CRITICISING THE PART WHERE I FAKE-TRIP, SAYING I MAKE IT LOOK TERRIBLY FAKE. DURING TODAY'S REHEARSAL, I ACTUALLY TRIPPED 4 REAL, AND SMASHED KNEECAPS AGAINST THE FLOOR WITH A SCREAM. HE STILL SAID "ACTING" SUCKED. FML

#20498655
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29390) - you deserved it (2493)

On 02/08/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Yesterday... ma leadersip class was trying to decideo would run te kissing boot in our local carnival. Someone suggested me... toic te director replied... ( We'd never make any profit wit er. ) FML

#20511433
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31194) - you deserved it (2677)

On 02/17/2013 at 10:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Taday Co-worker Told Me Tat I Need To Quit Smoking Because It Was Making Me Look And Smell Orrible. I've Never Smoked In Life. FML

#20493545
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28942) - you deserved it (3572)

On 02/04/2013 at 7:42pm - health - by Mattrd - United States

TODAY, A TENANT IN MA APARTMENT BLOCK TOLD ME ABOUT A NICE SADY PLACE BEIND OUR BUILDINGERE E OFTEN GOES TO RELAX. CURIOUS, I WENT LOOKING FIR IT. IT WAS A QUIET AND SECLUDD COURTYARD. AT LEAST UNTIL A MAN CAME OUT OF NOWERE WAVING A AMMER IN MA FACE, SCREAMING IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE. FML

#20495981
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23286) - you deserved it (2842)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today at work I got in an elevator to go upstars. It wasn't until the doors opened minutes later an people stepped in that I realized I had zoned out an forgot to press the button for the floor I needed. I then promptly exited the elevator an waited for the next elevator to go up in. FML

#20513703
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8539) - you deserved it (23091)

On 02/19/2013 at 5:03pm - work - by CaBur (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was partnered up with a girl in mah art class, since the teacher had asked us to take turns drawing portraits of each other. I went first and felt pretty proud of how the drawing turned out. I showed it to her and she said "That's OK. I'm not good at drawing either." FML

#20494244
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25444) - you deserved it (2708)

On 02/05/2013 at 8:09am - work - by picasso - United States

2day my sister postd on her Facebook that she hates moving cuz of all of the packing that she and my family have to do !! I didn't even know we're moving !! mega FML

#20510343
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29746) - you deserved it (2283)

On 02/17/2013 at 2:38am - misc - by left-out - United States

yesterday I was washing the dishes at work . I had to pee really bad but frst I wanted to finish the dishes . A coworker jumped out from behind the ice machine . I screamed like a grl and pissed my pants . FML

#20492292
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24970) - you deserved it (5049)

On 02/03/2013 at 10:50pm - work - by klovemachine (man) - United States



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: