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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend of three years told me he was thinking about us taking a break. After an hour of crying and him saying it would be okay, I accepted it. When I asked when the break would start, he replied, "What are you talking about? I only said I'd thought about it" and then laughed. FML

#20521204
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36564) - you deserved it (6679)

On 02/25/2013 at 1:10am - love - by Gullible (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of my roommates are aware of. FML

#20521168
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31054) - you deserved it (3266)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store because I would not show him my "boobies". A man came up to us and said I should do what my nephew wanted. FML

Today, my dad took me to the empty parking lot of Wal-Mart to try driving for the first time. All was well until he shouted at me for going too slow, which startled me into jerking the wheel and simultaneously stomping on the gas. I don't think Geico covers a Wal-Mart-sized dent in one's car. FML

Today, my college started an internet "confessions" page. Out of curiosity I checked it out, only to find that it's full of some of the most disturbing stuff I've ever read. My schoolmates are either filthy as fuck or they are all pathological liars. Wonderful. FML

#20524030
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33169) - you deserved it (4655)

On 02/27/2013 at 2:17am - intimacy - by panicelement (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

#20513159
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43080) - you deserved it (9393)

On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML

#20503942
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31691) - you deserved it (2633)

On 02/12/2013 at 6:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had drinks at a friend's house before going out to a concert. I still had a bottle of beer left, so I brought it along with me. I got kicked out five minutes into the show for bringing my own drink, which is apparently against the rules. I paid $75 to get kicked out over a $3 drink. FML

#20496974
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9962) - you deserved it (43227)

On 02/07/2013 at 12:11pm - misc - by loquacious shit stain (woman) - Australia

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish bi-product. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML

#20502144
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31768) - you deserved it (3933)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:48am - animals - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, the people living below me have been blasting their music so loudly that I can hear every word as clear as day. The people next door think it's my music and feel the need to bang on the wall and blast their music just as loudly in revenge. I have two very important exams tomorrow. FML

#20515010
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33989) - you deserved it (2922)

On 02/20/2013 at 3:40pm - misc - by Ughh! - France

Today, I realized that without my birth control pills, I would have no idea what day it is. FML

#20507998
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21640) - you deserved it (14474)

On 02/15/2013 at 8:57am - health - by PurpleSloth (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my maid of honor, who offered to take care of my wedding dress before the D-Day, left it near her open window during heavy rain. My dress is now ruined, and she's backed out due to stress. I'm supposed to be getting married tomorrow. FML

#20503604
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33924) - you deserved it (3343)

On 02/12/2013 at 12:41pm - misc - by Meaghan (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, the company I was fired from three years ago merged with the company I work at now. The new owners' first order of business was to fire me again. FML

#20508810
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43401) - you deserved it (2848) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/15/2013 at 8:37pm - work - by Nico - Sent from mobile version



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