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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while reading an erotic story I was more excited that the author used a conjunctive adverb than the sexual content in the story. FML

#20456501
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28634) - you deserved it (11410)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by frustrated - United States (Florida)

Today, our company's owner's son took over. The first thing he did? Fire me. Why? He said my sales are down. I work in Public Relations. FML

#20463186
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30837) - you deserved it (1791)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by itsjustwill - United States (Washington)

Today, my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend got into a fight about when my birthday is. They were both wrong. FML

#20464240
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41712) - you deserved it (5168)

On 01/17/2013 at 9:06am - love - by EmberLove (woman) - United States

Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to find out it was a small ice-cube. FML

#20476560
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9571) - you deserved it (35439)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:53pm - misc - by idiot (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML

#20484952
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28844) - you deserved it (6289)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML

#20445378
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22110) - you deserved it (2327)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:49pm - animals - by Twiggysucks68 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, when I asked my boss why my bonus was cut in half, he replied, "I have no idea what you really do." I'm the IT Manager. FML

#20465650
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30322) - you deserved it (2562)

On 01/18/2013 at 12:53am - money - by Anon - United States (Texas)

Today, during dinner, my mum asked why I've been so upset recently, so I just admitted it was because my girlfriend had cheated on me. At some point during my venting, I asked why this stuff always seems to happen to me. My dad looked up from his plate and said, "Probably karma." FML

#20442962
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16978) - you deserved it (5749)

On 01/04/2013 at 9:04pm - misc - by moronforadad (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML

#20447616
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26389) - you deserved it (5839)

On 01/08/2013 at 5:40am - animals - by Coldandshoeless (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my sleep-walking is so bad that I regularly text my friend while I sleep. I have no idea how many times this has happened. FML

#20455938
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23648) - you deserved it (3056)

On 01/12/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by I'm screwed - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML

#20479072
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31710) - you deserved it (3046)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:53am - animals - by Ear Invasion - United States (New Mexico)

Today, it's been two days since my upstairs neighbour's toilet started flooding both our apartments. I have to go to the bathroom with an umbrella. FML

#20471583
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28672) - you deserved it (2317) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/21/2013 at 3:24pm - misc - by normal - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

#20477498
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28101) - you deserved it (5755)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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