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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML

#20447288
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42251) - you deserved it (8106)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML

#20453156
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28026) - you deserved it (7557)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML

#20447919
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30732) - you deserved it (4340)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I unknowingly used my shampoo thinking it was leave-in-conditioner. While walking to work, it started to rain. I started to produce suds. FML

#20443594
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10391) - you deserved it (24726)

On 01/05/2013 at 10:59am - misc - by nomegusta (woman) - United States

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

#20470154
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31671) - you deserved it (3241)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50460) - you deserved it (4843)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, I had to have major oral surgery. Needless to say I am in need of some heavy pain medication. My pharmacist insists that my surgeon never called in my medicine, and my surgeon insists otherwise. This has been going back and forth for hours. FML

#20483291
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27882) - you deserved it (1871)

On 01/28/2013 at 4:18pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After he left my place, I realized he took my Sonicare toothbrush because he knew that I would be more upset about missing that than our relationship. He was right. I am really upset about it. FML

#20450824
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16209) - you deserved it (30243)

On 01/09/2013 at 9:37pm - love - by niki (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I waited over an hour for my bus. As I finally saw it approaching, I reached into my purse to grab my ticket. The lady next to me then gave the driver a hand signal to keep driving. FML

#20451303
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32772) - you deserved it (2654)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while reading in the bath, I accidentally switched the shower on. Not wanting my book to get soaked, I threw it out of the tub. When I got out of the tub later, I found it had landed squarely in the toilet. FML

#20479000
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27390) - you deserved it (11367)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by stelssy (woman) - United States

Today, an elderly gentleman came into my store complaining of a toothache, so I showed him where the Orajel was located. He then insisted on making a big scene, claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. FML

#20464379
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28665) - you deserved it (2676)

On 01/17/2013 at 11:57am - work - by lifebecrazed (woman) -

Today, I discovered that if I turn my shower off for a minute, then back on again, the water comes out scalding hot. I discovered that while the showerhead was pointed directly at my genitals. FML

#20436439
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29110) - you deserved it (8897)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I found out my best friend has been stealing hundreds of dollars from me and my fiancé. My wedding is tomorrow morning. Guess who my best man is. FML

#20483262
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31297) - you deserved it (2526)

On 01/28/2013 at 4:01pm - love - by weddingsalwayssuck - United States (New York)



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