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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML

#20441386
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20582) - you deserved it (991)

On 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Tooyoungforthis (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realised in the middle of my shift how useless my deodorant is in the stifling heatwave spreading through my country. It's no longer effective against my awful B.O., which is a problem because I'm a mascot, and my costume traps the smell inside like a portable toilet. FML

#20469816
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23689) - you deserved it (4013)

On 01/20/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I was in the elevator, when a big bearded guy stepped in, wearing a dress. It's not an uncommon sight where I live, but my friend cracked up and asked him if he was wearing underwear. He took it as a challenge, and I can safely say that no, he was not. FML

#20452044
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26952) - you deserved it (4223)

On 01/10/2013 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by juvenile friends suck (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML

#20450908
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29387) - you deserved it (2145)

On 01/09/2013 at 10:15pm - love - by wtf dad - United States (Missouri)

Today, while babysitting my neighbors' kids, their oldest son used a paint pen on the carpet. The boy blamed me and I got fired. He's only 3 and can barely talk. FML

#20479262
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20948) - you deserved it (3559)

On 01/26/2013 at 3:42am - kids - by anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML

#20486320
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27643) - you deserved it (2015)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm - health - by cay - United States (New York)

Today, I met with my Bolivian friend, who's vacationing here for a few weeks. Eager to show him how welcoming we are in the USA, I took him home and introduced him to my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Bolivia? That's in Europe, right? We saved your asses in World War 2." FML

#20477083
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23377) - you deserved it (2557)

On 01/24/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by oh ffs (man) - United States

Today, I was upset because my brother, who I'm very close to, didn't call me for my birthday yesterday. I told my mom about it, and we both immediately went silent on the phone, as we both realized she forgot to call me yesterday as well. FML

#20474927
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34313) - you deserved it (2279)

On 01/23/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by birthday_loser (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, at my four-year-old daughter's insistence, I looked for - and found - a radio station that plays "Santa music" all year round. She's ecstatic and I can't turn it off without upsetting her. FML

#20436981
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18092) - you deserved it (7144)

On 01/01/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by christmaswillneverend - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a girl I follow on Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML

#20459715
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28598) - you deserved it (2592)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27371) - you deserved it (1754)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I discovered that my downstairs neighbor is running a business out of her apartment. Or I should say, her pimp is. FML

#20473717
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21773) - you deserved it (1383)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, while at work, a Beatles song came on the radio. I jokingly said, "These guys are pretty good, are they new?" Everyone thought I was being serious, and now they're convinced I'm an idiot. FML

#20446711
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12785) - you deserved it (22601)

On 01/07/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by EffUrEll - Canada (Ontario)



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