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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my grandmother called me to tell me that there will be a nice, single guy for me to meet at the family reunion. She went on and on about how perfect he was for me. I didn't have the heart to tell her I'm a lesbian, and have been out to the rest of the family for over six years. FML

#20451316
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22673) - you deserved it (9493)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:25am - love - by RP Havens (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I made my first snowman ever, and then cried when my big brother kicked it to pieces. I'm 27. FML

#20475358
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24244) - you deserved it (7024)

On 01/23/2013 at 7:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, the last customer of the night shift handed me their money along with a wad of their hair. FML

#20484636
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19527) - you deserved it (1434)

On 01/29/2013 at 11:39am - work - by imwithapples22 (man) - United States

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

#20447496
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30492) - you deserved it (4655)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -

Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML

#20454746
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23673) - you deserved it (5686)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:32am - love - by thanksbabe - United States

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

#20480168
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36408) - you deserved it (3149)

On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML

#20458971
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29375) - you deserved it (5073)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:34pm - love - by nkotz - United States

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

#20470154
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25942) - you deserved it (2765)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I waited over an hour for my bus. As I finally saw it approaching, I reached into my purse to grab my ticket. The lady next to me then gave the driver a hand signal to keep driving. FML

#20451303
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27142) - you deserved it (1931)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while reading in the bath, I accidentally switched the shower on. Not wanting my book to get soaked, I threw it out of the tub. When I got out of the tub later, I found it had landed squarely in the toilet. FML

#20479000
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22231) - you deserved it (8195)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by stelssy (woman) - United States

Today, after an hour of crying over a guy I like, I put on some Adele and sang along. My mom quickly took notice and came to give me advice, which was to "get over it" because he doesn't want me, and that "masturbation beats relationships hands down." Gee, thanks mom. FML

#20469543
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20405) - you deserved it (4877)

On 01/20/2013 at 1:22pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, my 5-year-old nephew had the most amazing idea: to play a game with my keys. He took out all ten keys individually and hid them around the house. So far it's been two hours and I haven't found a single one. FML

#20485810
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25476) - you deserved it (3119)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:03am - kids - by idislikeblanks (man) - United States (California)

Today, my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend got into a fight about when my birthday is. They were both wrong. FML

#20464240
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33878) - you deserved it (3644)

On 01/17/2013 at 9:06am - love - by EmberLove (woman) - United States



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