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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, both my brother and sister missed my wedding. She was playing in a Call of Duty tournament, and he got so high that he forgot about the wedding completely. He was my best man. FML

#20458912
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48797) - you deserved it (3514)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm - misc - by What a happy day (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML

#20474800
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33372) - you deserved it (5396)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

#20443434
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31578) - you deserved it (5358)

On 01/05/2013 at 4:21am - intimacy - by kblevss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

#20462590
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41030) - you deserved it (3456)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37662) - you deserved it (3890)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States

Today, my mum got a new blender. Dinner was roast beef, broccoli, cauliflower, pumpkin, potatoes and water. In a cup. FML

#20487313
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36697) - you deserved it (2560)

On 01/31/2013 at 5:28am - health - by I'maboutobarf - Australia

Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML

#20438564
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12868) - you deserved it (42257)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:33pm - health - by Embarrassed - United States

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

#20445704
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26834) - you deserved it (6024)

On 01/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by areyoukiddingme (woman) - United States

Today, I told my mom we get Monday off due to Martin Luther King Jr. day. She then insisted that I had to go to school because that is "only for black people." FML

#20461178
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39207) - you deserved it (2798)

On 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm - misc - by Sydney - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML

#20446049
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30639) - you deserved it (6169)

On 01/07/2013 at 10:40am - love - by gassy - United States (Texas)

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

#20456674
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49571) - you deserved it (8336)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I learned that my doctor lost all of my immunization records. I can't start law school without them. FML

#20442687
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25779) - you deserved it (1642)

On 01/04/2013 at 3:51pm - health - by bureaucratic assfuckery (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

#20466497
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31551) - you deserved it (5397)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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