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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I told my boyfriend about my upcoming mouth surgery. He freaked out. Not because he's worried about me, but because I told him I will not be able to give him head for two weeks. FML

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32207) - you deserved it (3493)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was driving and noticed a police car parked in a spot reserved for the handicapped. I stopped my car and got out to take a picture. The cop gave me a ticket for parking in the road. FML

Today, I was asked out by a friend of mine. He's a doctor and works at a prestigious hospital, so thinking we would eat somewhere special, I got all dressed up. We ended up eating at his hospital's cafeteria, because he gets a small employee discount. FML

#20453732
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34864) - you deserved it (7544)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:37pm - love - by wowthanks (woman) - United States (California)

Today, instead of the traditional midnight kiss, my husband handed me divorce papers. FML

#20436006
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48203) - you deserved it (5368)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:15am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

#20460540
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44273) - you deserved it (4575)

On 01/15/2013 at 9:41am - kids - by Nightmare (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

#20452996
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49503) - you deserved it (6475)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML

#20442364
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29241) - you deserved it (7088)

On 01/04/2013 at 9:08am - love - by damn (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I paused the movie my girlfriend and I were watching and told her, for the first time, that I loved her. Her response was to stare at me silently for a few seconds before unpausing the film. FML

#20440422
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38555) - you deserved it (6811)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband and I finally agreed on something: marriage counseling. FML

#20455127
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30360) - you deserved it (6053)

On 01/12/2013 at 10:28am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while on a first date with a charming guy, I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along, since my pads were in there, and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse, in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML

#20442878
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27212) - you deserved it (2539)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:33pm - love - by but i make different stiffies (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

#20485957
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39282) - you deserved it (4354)

On 01/30/2013 at 7:21am - love - by Denki (man) - China (Beijing)



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