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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out my best friend has been stealing hundreds of dollars from me and my fiancé. My wedding is tomorrow morning. Guess who my best man is. FML

#20483262
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31403) - you deserved it (2540)

On 01/28/2013 at 4:01pm - love - by weddingsalwayssuck - United States (New York)

Today, at work, a little girl came in and asked if we had any dance clothes. As I showed her, I asked if she was in a competition. When she said yes, I crossed my fingers and told her I hoped she would win. Unfortunately, I didn't cross them properly and I accidentally gave her the finger. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me all about how his parents sat him down last night and had a 20 minute talk with him about how I'm the biggest mistake he'll ever make. FML

#20468803
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34502) - you deserved it (3756)

On 01/20/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I thought maybe I should go to my doctor because my hips crack every time I take a step. But she's also my recently ex-boyfriend's mom, so I have to choose between being in constant pain or having my doctor poke at my hips while asking me why I'm no longer dating her son. FML

#20472109
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28094) - you deserved it (5868)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:41pm - health - by ouch (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

Today, when I asked my boss why my bonus was cut in half, he replied, "I have no idea what you really do." I'm the IT Manager. FML

#20465650
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32062) - you deserved it (2695)

On 01/18/2013 at 12:53am - money - by Anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML

#20478247
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35409) - you deserved it (3868)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML

#20484952
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31103) - you deserved it (6573)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my home-made pasta sauce had a weird taste to it because my basil patch in the backyard has become my dog's preferred spot to pee. FML

#20467403
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33758) - you deserved it (7000)

On 01/19/2013 at 2:40am - animals - by damnthedog (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML

#20454752
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24433) - you deserved it (9529)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:36am - misc - by poohanne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was running on the treadmill at my local gym when I saw a girl I like a lot. I called out to her to say hi. As she was coming over, I accidentally stepped on the belt with one foot, crashed down on the treadmill, and continued to slide down in front of her, emerging with a gashed knee and arm. FML

#20445461
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24062) - you deserved it (4073)

On 01/06/2013 at 10:16pm - love - by Dkim620 (man) - United States

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

#20480168
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48345) - you deserved it (4980)

On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML

#20466782
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29029) - you deserved it (14864)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland



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