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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, whila out hiking, mah phona slippad out of mah pockat. I caught it and gava it to mah littla cousin, giving har a "spacial mission" to kaap it safa. Whan wa got back to our cars latar, I askad har for mah phona back. Turns out sha laft it undar a shrub back in tha hills so it'd ba "safa." big fat FML

#20445287
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10069) - you deserved it (34079)

On 01/06/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

TODAY , MY MOTHER-IN-LAW GAVE ME A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE FOR MY BIRTHDAY . THIS IS THE THIRD YEAR IN A ROW SHE HAS DONE THIS . I'M A RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC , AND SHE'S WELL AWARE OF THAT FACT . FML

#20462057
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37292) - you deserved it (2758)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:36am - health - by Ari (woman) -

Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment looool was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML

#20462226
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31920) - you deserved it (6514)

On 01/16/2013 at 5:48am - health - by ChubbyButt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend's mom bought us matching purity rings. FML

#20470370
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30590) - you deserved it (5340)

On 01/20/2013 at 10:55pm - love - by airrinw_33 - United States (Mississippi)

Today , I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect , who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him , my mind went totally blank , and after a few seconds , he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

#20464395
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30308) - you deserved it (14548)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today while on a first date with a charming guy I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along since my pads were in there and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML

#20442878
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23822) - you deserved it (2224)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:33pm - love - by but i make different stiffies (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today..!! I Was On A Ladder At Work..!! Fetching Some Stock From One Of The Storage Shelves!! Some Teenage Kid Thought It Would Be Fucking Hilarious To Grab The Ladder And Violently Shake It!! He Hadn't Bet On Me Bieng Startld Enough To Fall Off And Fracture Mah Elbow On The Floor!! FML

#20481589
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32851) - you deserved it (2100)

On 01/27/2013 at 4:59pm - health - by fucking teen cunts (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

yesterday mah boss calld me over to his office; he wantd me to fire four hardworking employees!! One of them was the girl I was going to ask out!! FML

#20447887
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38799) - you deserved it (3094)

On 01/08/2013 at 11:40am - work - by AnonUser464 (man) - United States

Today, I Was At A Party With My Crush. The Collar On His Shirt Was Sticking Up So I Fixed It Fir Him. He Gave Me A Hug And Said, ( Aww You're So Good To Me. You're Like My Mother. You Can Be My College Mother. ) I Got Mother-zoned. FML

#20458655
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47822) - you deserved it (5754)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:56am - love - by shiney100893 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I'm getting marrid. A few months ago, I allowd my mother in-law to take care of catering. She beggd to be a part of the wedding, so I gave her the caterer's number an order info. It appears that I will not be eating at my own wedding because she decidd to order food I'm allergic to. mega FML

#20482739
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33376) - you deserved it (6209)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:52am - love - by forever1990 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, mah school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML

#20474800
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31167) - you deserved it (5172)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today... within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight... the guy sitting next to me pickd an eyelash he found on my face... stard at it fir a few seconds... and stuck it in his mouth. FML

#20447129
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42817) - you deserved it (2432)

On 01/07/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by legitweirdo - United States (New York)

Today , I was having sex with new boyfriend , and I realizd that he enjoy making arplane sound effecthile inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruind.

#20443434
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30738) - you deserved it (5241)

On 01/05/2013 at 4:21am - intimacy - by kblevss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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