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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML

#20477547
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40626) - you deserved it (4039)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:11am - intimacy - by swollenpenis - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

#20465889
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50013) - you deserved it (4549)

On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, thanks to our computer's browser history, I found out that my wife has been searching for local therapists who deal with cases of severe sex addiction. We've only had sex twice since we got married four months ago. FML

#20487689
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30547) - you deserved it (3072)

On 01/31/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by papersofdivorce (man) - Peru (Lima)

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

#20478409
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31310) - you deserved it (4025)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

#20482822
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27767) - you deserved it (3475)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

#20480699
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28848) - you deserved it (3049)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML

#20469405
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16780) - you deserved it (35729)

On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my wife brought my 5-year-old daughter to visit me at the office. My boss has a speech impediment, and when she heard it, she exclaimed, "Hey my daddy can sound just like you! Show him daddy! Show him!" FML

#20454855
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18064) - you deserved it (37042)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving and noticed a police car parked in a spot reserved for the handicapped. I stopped my car and got out to take a picture. The cop gave me a ticket for parking in the road. FML

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

#20470654
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18351) - you deserved it (37709)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend about my upcoming mouth surgery. He freaked out. Not because he's worried about me, but because I told him I will not be able to give him head for two weeks. FML

Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML

#20446490
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9711) - you deserved it (30097)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by james88 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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