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December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got into a fight with my girlfriend. After yelling and arguing my point, my cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML

#20189474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20223) - you deserved it (3664)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

#20185753
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7101) - you deserved it (17182)

On 11/30/2012 at 7:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, in the "end-of-the-world" spirit, I asked my boyfriend to marry me. His response was, "It's really windy out." FML

#20410172
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18037) - you deserved it (25413)

On 12/20/2012 at 11:05pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw my daughter dusting her furniture with the white handkerchief I gave her as a wedding present. It's been in our family for 4 generations. FML

#20405217
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30462) - you deserved it (5051)

On 12/18/2012 at 5:03am - kids - by teejayrn -

Today, I thought it would be nice to park my new car under a big, shady oak tree to prevent it from heating up in the sun. The big, shady oak tree thought it would be nice to shed a massive branch on top of my new car. FML

#20196008
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20811) - you deserved it (3465)

On 12/08/2012 at 4:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML

#20412747
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10740) - you deserved it (44093)

On 12/22/2012 at 12:01am - love - by Stupid Drunk - United States

Today, I accidentally left my textbook at home. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, but today was my class final. Since it was an open-book final, I'd decided not to study for it. I'm pretty sure I failed. FML

#20201964
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8323) - you deserved it (32523)

On 12/12/2012 at 2:14pm - misc - by dumbassgrad - United States (California)

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20399) - you deserved it (1582)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, I had to show my husband a video on how to brush your teeth. FML

#20188897
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18054) - you deserved it (2479)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:18am - health - by Gahh... (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that storing a partially empty bowl of ice cream in the freezer overnight along with the spoon, and then trying to take a bite the next day, can have the same effect as sticking your tongue on a flagpole in the middle of winter. FML

#20195063
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5874) - you deserved it (26302)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by Moose (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

#20406748
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33043) - you deserved it (19019)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML

#20191408
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21618) - you deserved it (2297)

On 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm - misc - by Likian5 (man) - United States

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

#20189885
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20654) - you deserved it (2906)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States



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