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December 2012

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Today, it's my 21st birthday and my dad has decided to take away my ID in fear that if I have even one drink to celebrate I'll become a raging alcoholic. FML

#20189765
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20736) - you deserved it (2214)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by VedaLynn - United States

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

#20189453
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30680) - you deserved it (3791)

On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

#20194684
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26695) - you deserved it (4169)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by lingadoo - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)

Today, at school, I have to do a 45 minute presentation with a girl who has panic attacks so bad that she cries, runs out of the room, and sometimes passes out. This presentation terrifies her and it's a major part of my final grade. FML

#20192286
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22154) - you deserved it (2014)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by Murlocmurk - United States

Today, at the hospital I work at, I had to deliver my best friend's baby. I later found out that my ex boyfriend was the father. Normally this wouldn't faze me, but it did because we broke up last month. FML

#20429423
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42667) - you deserved it (2710)

On 12/29/2012 at 3:25am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boss was telling everyone that he knew a guy who went to a college at which multiple people were shot and killed recently. Being extremely socially awkward and uncomfortable, I blurted, "That's awesome." Now everyone in the office is terrified of me. FML

#20191114
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10880) - you deserved it (20944)

On 12/04/2012 at 4:34pm - work - by Adan - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

#20189050
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20848) - you deserved it (1449)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by poopsthegame - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML

#20193447
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18439) - you deserved it (5185)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML

#20400460
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26018) - you deserved it (2902)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

#20429501
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36983) - you deserved it (4072)

On 12/29/2012 at 4:32am - misc - by gassy - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend and I went to the cinema. Or rather, she went with her other boyfriend, and I happened to see them there. FML

#20429745
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43491) - you deserved it (2771)

On 12/29/2012 at 10:50am - love - by awkward. (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my roommate pressed "snooze" on his alarm 14 times. I counted. FML

#20200321
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21026) - you deserved it (2179)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by roommateprobssss:( - United States

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

#20409224
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29354) - you deserved it (6144)

On 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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