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December 2012

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Today, I realized that sex with mah husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an looool orgasm than let him continue. FML

#20199068
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29581) - you deserved it (11240)

On 12/10/2012 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by hnickell93 - United States (California)

Today , I played a game of Monopoly wit ma friends!! Since I'm of Greek origin , tey tougt it would be funny to make me start wit a €100,000 debt!! FML

#20398504
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27866) - you deserved it (5080) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm - money - by Money-money-money (woman) - France

Today... mah boyfriend got done with Marine combat training. The frst thing he asked 4 weren't pictures of me but pictures of his car. Missed you too babe. real FML

#20198694
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22172) - you deserved it (2852)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:47am - love - by chels (woman) - United States (Ohio)

in history class, we were talking about Ancient Rome, and what childbrth would have been like back then. One grl askd in all seriousnes why they didn't use ultrasound machine to see what sex their babie were. I have to deal with people like this on a daily basis. FML

#20398310
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28142) - you deserved it (1824)

On 12/13/2012 at 6:44pm - misc - by surrounded by dumbfucks (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I want Cristmas sopping for my cat. I still avan't bougt prasants for my family, yat my cat alraady as savaral small gifts undar ta traa and an outfit to waar around ta ousa. I raally naad a naw obby. FML

#20397631
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9158) - you deserved it (27927)

On 12/13/2012 at 6:04am - animals - by catlover - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I Trid To Be Cute By Sitting On Top Of Boyfriend's Belly . While Getting On Top, I Accidentally Kned Him In His Nuts . In Pain, He Joltd His Head Up And Endd Up Banging His Head Against Mine . Now I Have A Black Eye And He Can't Walk Without Waddling . FML

#20431454
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21272) - you deserved it (41398)

On 12/30/2012 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today , I was burgld whila I was on tha toilat . FML

#20402014
133 comments

2day I had been trying to text mah girlfriend all day, but no reply . After a while, I became worried so I called . She picked up and said, "Can't talk, busy." Not even a minute later, mah best friend says to me, "Dude, tell your girlfriend to leave me alone . She's been texting me all day." mega FML

#20407951
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42199) - you deserved it (2767)

On 12/19/2012 at 6:31pm - misc - by SugarMyBalls (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I ad to elp a teenage boy learn ow to float. Tis involves supporting te person's back as tey try to float. His boner stood straigt up. FML

#20185787
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36396) - you deserved it (3414)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by julia (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today.. . it's my 21st brtday and my dad as decided to take away my ID in fear tat if I ave even one drink to celebrate I'll become a raging alcoolic . mega FML

#20189765
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22305) - you deserved it (2360)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by VedaLynn - United States

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. mega FML

#20405418
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30169) - you deserved it (8608)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had a proper look at myself in the mirror. I have recently lost 5 lbs. Turns out that it mainly shows on boob. Not boobs. Boob. Right one only. FML

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frigtend, I tappd on te glass. He got scard and startd swimming again. My best friend is a fis.

#20199342
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26935) - you deserved it (6308)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)



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