Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5170) - you deserved it (19304)
Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20459) - you deserved it (4790)
On 11/09/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Argentina (Buenos Aires)
Today, while at school, a bra fell out of my coat. After the initial shock, people started congratulating me on finally getting a girlfriend. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17508) - you deserved it (2196)
On 11/23/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by Tymer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, two of my friends condemned me for being "narrow-minded", because I couldn't help but laugh at the thought that someone would believe mermaids actually exist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12657) - you deserved it (2753)
On 11/30/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by so pray to ariel about it, dipshits (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)
Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15231) - you deserved it (6214)
On 11/09/2012 at 11:23am - work - by EnglishLearner (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21180) - you deserved it (1536)
On 11/15/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by WentInABush (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I went to the Apple store to try and figure out what's going on with my iPhone. After an hour of speaking to three different geniuses and waiting around, their solution was to "Google it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17542) - you deserved it (2962)
On 11/21/2012 at 12:42am - misc - by Jo - United States (California)
Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30399) - you deserved it (4905)
On 11/18/2012 at 5:53pm - intimacy - by besviken (woman) - Sweden (Uppsala Lan)
Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17795) - you deserved it (1549)
On 11/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my daughter brought home her new boyfriend. He has a neck tattoo, and his life's dream is to be a professional "beer pong" player. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18647) - you deserved it (1947)
On 11/04/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by PleaseDontBeSerious - Canada
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18605) - you deserved it (2543)
On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my step-mom restarted the computer because she thought she'd downloaded a virus that stopped her from being able to click on anything, erasing my 7-page paper in the process. It turns out it was just the batteries dying in our wireless mouse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16744) - you deserved it (8761)
On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was told I will be having twins; this came as a shock since there are no twins in my family. When I asked my mom about it, she said that she wasn't surprised and not to worry about it because she had "absorbed her twin" and that the problem would "take care of itself." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14773) - you deserved it (1034)
On 11/08/2012 at 1:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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