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Today, after dealing with infidelity in mah marriage, I found myself looking 4 advice. This ld me to the comment section of a tabloid article talking about Kristen Stewart an Rob Pattinson. I'm a 30-year-old man taking marriage advice from a bunch of vampire-obsessd tweens.
Today, I had a booth at a very expensive craft show. My grandma cummed to show her support. While there, she managed to knock over mah display, get in the way of potential buyers and take down a rather old ladyhen she supposedly stumbled. This all happened in the first five minutes she was there. FML
Today On An Important Call With A Potential Employer He Began To Speak Quieter And Quieter Until I Couldn't Hear Him At All!! When I Finally Hung Up After Waiting Fir 5 Minutes I Realized That I Had Been Pressing Down On The Volume Button!! FML
2day mah long-distance boyfriend an I decidd to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumd that mah dad was asleep an did some drty talk. When we were done, I heard mah dad laughing outside mah room; he'd heard it all. FML
Today... my older brother thought it would be hilarious to sneak up and scare me in the grocery aisle at the store. I screamd and jumpd... knocking half the shelf's contents all over the floor. We're now bannd from the only grocery store in town. FML
Yesterday... I saw cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch... I pickd it up an threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time... I realizd that not only was it not a toy... but it was only half-dead. FML
Friday 27 March 2015