Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

#20180296
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24735) - you deserved it (2986)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to see my favorite band. It was all amazing and great until I decided to go crowd surfing. I was maybe too heavy because people jumped away instead of catching me. I fell right on my tailbone. FML

#20166417
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7061) - you deserved it (28106)

On 11/17/2012 at 8:56am - health - by lekijkerd - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I spotted a girl I have a crush on while grocery shopping. Before I could go over and say hi, I noticed her walk over and stroke a few kitchen knives through plastic wrapping. Then I spotted her in the dog food section sniffing rawhide bones with her eyes closed, looking very happy. FML

#20165046
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21032) - you deserved it (2790)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by grocerystalker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML

#20156190
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19770) - you deserved it (7110)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:23am - work - by EnglishLearner (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, multiple people admired my elaborate face paint. This happens every Halloween, at least every Halloween since I got badly burnt in a car accident. FML

#20142623
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43159) - you deserved it (1690)

On 11/01/2012 at 7:17am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of)

Today, I went to a big job interview. Everything went well at first, with the interviewer being impressed by my CV. I was then interrogated over not having a Facebook account, and practically accused of being a criminal, because people without them "always have something to hide". FML

#20165792
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22543) - you deserved it (1564)

On 11/16/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my girlfriend started bawling, saying that our relationship wouldn't work. Why? Because if Justin and Selena can't do it, no one can. FML

#20178699
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29675) - you deserved it (3417)

On 11/25/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by nonbelieber (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML

#20176506
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23108) - you deserved it (2275)

On 11/24/2012 at 11:35am - misc - by lobstercola - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML

#20169340
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34655) - you deserved it (4307)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:12am - intimacy - by nextcontestant16 - United States

Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML

#20179174
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33471) - you deserved it (3164)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, the battery cables on my car came loose, thus resetting my car's electronics to factory settings. The anti-theft system is now turned on, and I can't start my car with it on. Luckily, it turns off with a remote. The remote broke about six months ago. FML

Today, after losing twenty pounds to please my husband, the only comment I received was, "At least now only your personality sucks." FML

#20143873
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29010) - you deserved it (4553)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:17am - love - by 123alleyesonme - United States (Texas)

Today, I took a pregnancy test. When I saw that the result was positive, I started crying and showed my mom. She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test. FML

#20177960
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8512) - you deserved it (32621)

On 11/25/2012 at 10:08am - health - by I'm stupid - United States (Illinois)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: