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November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML

#20170012
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20312) - you deserved it (1903)

On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML

#20172058
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24684) - you deserved it (1938)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:54am - misc - by WamBamSam - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

#20177662
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17672) - you deserved it (7150)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML

#20171880
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28909) - you deserved it (3147)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Dead_Fox (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my cat went into labor. This is surprising since 6 years ago, we paid to have her spayed. FML

#20174337
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23019) - you deserved it (1648)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, despite my pleading, my boyfriend mounted a set of bullhorns above our headboard. Guess what came crashing down on our heads at 2am. FML

#20153273
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20259) - you deserved it (2037)

On 11/07/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while in class, I was called down to the office. The principal showed me a video of 2 guys fighting in the school parking lot. I'm accused of being one of those guys. I'm a girl. FML

#20154873
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28239) - you deserved it (1861)

On 11/08/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by mayerstexmex69 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML

#20150513
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19510) - you deserved it (1386)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my parents told me that they had joined a local club. Proud of them for going out of their comfort zone to make new friends, I googled the name of the club. I'm sure they'll make some lifelong friends at their first swingers club meet. FML

#20179494
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25106) - you deserved it (2710)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, after spending 3 hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML

#20163199
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18787) - you deserved it (1477)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by racking-leaves - United States

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me. When I explained the situation to the "other guy", he exclaimed that I was lying because I was jealous and trying to ruin his relationship. He punched me in the face. FML

#20177730
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26338) - you deserved it (2499)

On 11/25/2012 at 3:09am - love - by king400 - United States (California)

Today, I flew back home from out of state. When I got back to my house, my bed, furniture, and TV were gone. My girlfriend changed her number and I have no idea where she lives now. FML

#20153491
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24289) - you deserved it (1887)

On 11/07/2012 at 1:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarettes were gone. FML

#20149150
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20102) - you deserved it (2639)

On 11/05/2012 at 5:11pm - money - by Brooklyn - United States (Oregon)



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