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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized the only reason why my boyfriend spends the night with me is because my house is closer to his job than his, and so he saves money on gas. FML

#20107548
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24055) - you deserved it (2825)

On 10/08/2012 at 2:57pm - love - by habsgurl0622 - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

#20132312
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27573) - you deserved it (17660)

On 10/25/2012 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went to the surprise birthday party of an ex I still love, though I'm the one who ended things. I walked in in time to see her screaming "Yes" to her kneeling boyfriend, her parents crying and applauding, and her brothers patting him on the back. FML

#20110139
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10375) - you deserved it (49412)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:26am - love - by Toolate (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my wife confused terminology from my religion with stuff from Harry Potter. FML

#20127336
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13111) - you deserved it (19601)

On 10/21/2012 at 9:21pm - misc - by nickw177 (man) - United States

Today, my roommate set her extremely loud alarm clock for 5am and continued to hit the snooze button every ten minutes until 7:30. FML

#20110486
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28267) - you deserved it (1907)

On 10/10/2012 at 1:38pm - misc - by tiredofthis - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

#20102415
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51377) - you deserved it (2234)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML

#20129288
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31521) - you deserved it (4890)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by bunintheoven (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I discovered my son, who has recently moved out of our home, eating his dog's food. His excuse? He wanted the new Pokemon game, and "compromises had to be made". FML

#20122132
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24131) - you deserved it (2984)

On 10/18/2012 at 4:33am - kids - by anon - Australia

Today, after 6 months of training and going to the gym every day, I realized that the only thing I've lost is $300 worth of gas. FML

#20131082
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21918) - you deserved it (4908)

On 10/24/2012 at 9:09am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML

#20140430
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30328) - you deserved it (2883)

On 10/30/2012 at 5:26pm - misc - by rarara - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, the power went out at school. If it's out for more than twenty minutes, standard procedure is to let us go home. They came back on almost nineteen minutes later. FML

#20118123
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27966) - you deserved it (3529)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:00pm - work - by anon - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

#20124199
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21097) - you deserved it (2314)

On 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Watchtower? More like fortress. (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I showed my friends the picture I drew picturing the four of us in a 'zombie apocalypse' setting. Turns out they never saw me as their friend, and I'm creeping them out. FML

#20128150
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27844) - you deserved it (8141)

On 10/22/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by Nana (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)



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