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October 2012

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Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

#20135671
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9936) - you deserved it (35027)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML

#20138883
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30767) - you deserved it (5939)

On 10/29/2012 at 4:49pm - intimacy - by le_evan - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about extinct peoples, and I said how close the Jewish people came to becoming one. She condescendingly told me they don't exist anymore. When I asked what she was talking about, I realized she was confusing them with the Vikings. What the hell? FML

#20126556
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23094) - you deserved it (2879)

On 10/21/2012 at 12:00pm - misc - by tempted to become single (man) - United States (California)

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend what she got me for my half birthday, to which she replied "A baby." She was serious. FML

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

#20113997
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37264) - you deserved it (3070)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

#20105538
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19838) - you deserved it (4222)

On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML

#20136801
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21469) - you deserved it (4141)

On 10/28/2012 at 10:53am - kids - by friedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML

#20101252
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33668) - you deserved it (3921)

On 10/04/2012 at 11:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML

#20130811
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28843) - you deserved it (2449)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:15am - kids - by BobsBabe2 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML

#20114701
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35918) - you deserved it (3396)

On 10/13/2012 at 8:04am - intimacy - by notthebesttime -

Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML

#20134692
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25971) - you deserved it (6217)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML

#20137933
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27755) - you deserved it (3396)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by becca (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML

#20118231
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36977) - you deserved it (2232)

On 10/15/2012 at 4:27pm - love - by 3023-dang - United States



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