Today, I had to be treated for chemical burns, because my mother got the bright idea of using paint thinner to clean me up after I'd painted our living room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14829) - you deserved it (2100)
On 10/11/2012 at 3:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12440) - you deserved it (1295)
On 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Watchtower? More like fortress. (man) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17143) - you deserved it (3552)
On 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20779) - you deserved it (2123)
On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)
Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20610) - you deserved it (4574)
On 10/08/2012 at 5:12am - love - by embarrassed (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, my dad asked me to clean the trash on our acreage. I was cleaning around the tree line when I came across a particularly heavy bag. I ran inside to ask my dad for help moving it. He looked inside the bag to see what it could be. It was a human body. Someone had thrown it over our fence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48398) - you deserved it (1782)
On 10/22/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I fell down the stairs. Lying on my back in extreme pain, I called my mom for help. When she came over, she said I looked like a dead bug, took a picture and posted it on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16419) - you deserved it (1327)
On 10/15/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Bug (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19757) - you deserved it (1589)
On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)
Today, I went on a date to the movies with this guy I kinda like. When he was driving me home, he asked me to be his girlfriend; I said I couldn’t because it was really bad timing. He kicked me out of the car, called me an asshole, and made me walk home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11621) - you deserved it (23261)
On 10/03/2012 at 9:47am - misc - by lonerboner (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to break up. But not until after our anniversary tomorrow, because he's already gotten dinner reservations for us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16812) - you deserved it (1014)
On 10/22/2012 at 5:01am - love - by reserved - United States (California)
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17450) - you deserved it (2165)
On 10/26/2012 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, my mom decided to wake me up by pouring ice cold water on my face. Again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14163) - you deserved it (2751)
On 10/28/2012 at 6:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was walking in the freezing rain when a guy asked me if I wanted to share his umbrella with him. I grinned and told him I did. He then noticed a pretty girl walking behind me and he abruptly turned to her and asked her the same question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18319) - you deserved it (1296)
On 10/06/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by FML_Elle - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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