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I think it's more likely that OP would treat her niece differently because it would very likely hurt like hell to see someone walking around that may look like her daughter would have and uses the same name, but still isn't OP's Hana Grace. Which is another reason why this is a jerk move on OP's sister's part, and is another reason this seems like it's intended to be deliberately hurtful to OP. Not only will seeing and hearing about the niece hurt OP and her husband, but the chance of others in the family looking at her and NOT having a knee-jerk moment of pain and grief most of the time when they see her is VERY low. If OP's sister doesn't think that eventually her daughter WILL ask someone why her family can't look at her without hurting, she's either extremely unintelligent or doesn't give a shit how it hurts her daughter as long as it hurts OP. If OP's sister goes through with it, it's going to make a lot of family dynamics unhealthy for a lot of people.

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Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

I am sorry for your loss if I were you I would politely talk to he about it and if she doesn't want to change the name make sure she knows you are not happy about it and plan to let that child know were her name came from. Shame that women

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The child would learn the name of their would-have-been cousin at some point and the child would then be wondering why the name is the same, and likely feel unhappy from it all. OPs sister would hurt everyone by doing this, even their own child. To OP, I'm very sorry for your loss. Please talk to your sister about it all, and have a family member or two with you to support you.

Wow. I'm sorry she's doing that. I agree with #2 that you should get your family involved in calling her out on being, at best, insensitive, and at worst, actively cruel and malicious. Given the wording, this sounds very much like she was intentionally being cruel to you and you may want to examine her past behaviors and see if this is a recurring issue. If it is, it sounds like she'a deliberately bullying you for her own pleasure and you may want to consider cutting her out of your life.

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Wow, I liked that response so much and thought highly enough of it to actually go and figure out my username and password just so that I could like and comment. I've been putting that off for almost a month or two now, haha.

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I totally agree! OP you just went through something many cannot even imagine and having your sister do that... Way out of line. Sometimes the family we're born with sucks. I truly hope the rest of them are more supportive and that you have an awesome extended family who respect you.

I don't even know how to respond to that. That is awful. Could it be she is just insensitive and when she realises how horrible that is for you and your husband that she will change the name? I hope this is resolved because personally I think it is something that I would really struggle with if she did not change the name.

I love this site but usually never leave any comments, but I feel I have to today: I am very sorry for your loss and I cannot believe the lack of though-fullness from your sister. How can she not realise that the name is already taken, even if it is by an angel? Good luck and take care OP.

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