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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

#20122551
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25715) - you deserved it (2999)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:19pm - misc - by not as scarred as he should be (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a call from my son's school saying to pick him up because he'd shat his pants. He's in high school. FML

#20119263
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27080) - you deserved it (2701)

On 10/16/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by Mike - United States

Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML

#20113152
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27994) - you deserved it (2058)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by Dino (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27192) - you deserved it (2513)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had my first orgasm. Unfortunately, it was during breakup sex. FML

#20110068
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31095) - you deserved it (8524)

On 10/10/2012 at 2:01am - intimacy - by Depression... (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered my son, who has recently moved out of our home, eating his dog's food. His excuse? He wanted the new Pokemon game, and "compromises had to be made". FML

#20122132
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21985) - you deserved it (2775)

On 10/18/2012 at 4:33am - kids - by anon - Australia

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

#20139786
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10337) - you deserved it (40831)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML

#20141607
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20407) - you deserved it (3993)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:09pm - animals - by NotSpiderman (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend told me that the main reason he was dating me was because he was intimidated by pretty girls. FML

#20097040
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25206) - you deserved it (2018)

On 10/01/2012 at 5:09pm - love - by Lisa - United States (New York)

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

#20100352
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24723) - you deserved it (7685)

On 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML

#20115322
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29354) - you deserved it (3655)

On 10/13/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML

#20116490
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18918) - you deserved it (7792)

On 10/14/2012 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia

Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML

#20109154
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26692) - you deserved it (3100)

On 10/09/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by FarmerGirl - Canada (Quebec)



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