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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML

#20109009
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15051) - you deserved it (6495)

On 10/09/2012 at 12:03pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML

#20096658
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24428) - you deserved it (3260)

On 10/01/2012 at 11:02am - love - by fiftyno (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned from my daughter's teacher that she has been wearing the same shirt for the past few weeks, ever since we had a fight about how I don't pay attention to her. FML

#20117763
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6070) - you deserved it (52339)

On 10/15/2012 at 6:28am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, my dad was teaching me how to drive. He told me that stop signs with white outlines are "optional." I ran through the next one I saw and got pulled over by a cop. My dad is making me pay the ticket for being "that stupid." Thanks dad. FML

#20129645
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10544) - you deserved it (34914)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:19am - money - by Dinger1992 - United States

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25631) - you deserved it (4522)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I received another death threat for teaching evolution in college. I'm a geology teacher. FML

#20121974
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23042) - you deserved it (2148)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:58am - work - by satanworshipper - United States (Florida)

Today, I found my fiancé is cheating on me. Our wedding is in 26 days and everything is already paid for. FML

#20140302
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31734) - you deserved it (2062)

On 10/30/2012 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML

#20106106
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17587) - you deserved it (1100)

On 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm - kids - by Skidmark Sally - United States (New Mexico)

Today, at breakfast, my sister labelled me a "feminist." My whole family now refuses to talk to me for more than 30 seconds, and acts as though I have an incurable, highly contagious disease. FML

#20129490
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16074) - you deserved it (4113)

On 10/23/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by hating labels - Australia

Today, a woman stopped me and started chewing me out for wearing a pentagram necklace. I explained to her that is wasn't a pentagram, it was a Star of David. She continued chewing me out because apparently that still means I hate Jesus. FML

#20097322
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20106) - you deserved it (2000)

On 10/01/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by raz (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML

#20130842
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6468) - you deserved it (44532)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML

#20124963
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30840) - you deserved it (2550)

On 10/20/2012 at 4:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)



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