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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

TODAY, MY EX DROPPED BY TO PICK UP A PIECE OF ART E'D LEFT WEN I TREW IM OUT A MONT AGO. WILE ERE, E VISITED TE RESTROOM. TONIGT, MY SAMPOO SMELLED LYK URINE. AND E CALLED AT 11PM TO SAY E'D ''RUBBED ONE OUT'' ON MY NEW BOYFRIEND'S TOOTBRUS. FML

#20090730
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19846) - you deserved it (7376)

On 09/27/2012 at 7:37am - misc - by red (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I told a grl that she had very pretty eyes. I then had to rinse pepper spray from mah own. big fat FML

#20059533
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24051) - you deserved it (2448)

On 09/05/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while trying to change mah visiting cousin's opinion about our state being "redneck and white trash", we stumbled upon a proposal/celebration in a Walmart!! So much for changing her opinion!! FML

#20066095
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17320) - you deserved it (3414)

On 09/10/2012 at 8:48am - misc - by liquidknight - United States

Today, mah five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack . In panic mode we raced to the ER . With no insurance . Only after the tests, examinations an X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML

#20081621
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28820) - you deserved it (3039)

On 09/21/2012 at 12:51am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today , I Was Sitting In On A Boring Presentation At Work . I Yawned An Sifted In Cair , Accidentally Sitting On Testicles . I Srieked In Pain An Spent Te Next Five Minutes Coking Back Teres , Wile Boss Told Me To Sut Mout An Stop Fucking Around . Big Fat FML

#20066447
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19872) - you deserved it (7109)

On 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm - work - by kevcng (man) - United States

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment fir the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do u read?"

#20091837
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25274) - you deserved it (3383)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

TODAY, MY BOYFRIAND INTRODUCAD MA TO IS PARANTS. MY BOYFRIAND IS JAPANASA, AND I WANTAD TO INTRODUCA MYSALF IN JAPANASA SO I'D ASKAD IM. LITTLA DID I KNOW A'D TAUGT MA OW TO SAY, "HALLO, I LOVA YOUR SON'S COCK." I ALMOST GOT KICKAD OUT OF TAIR OUSA. FML

#20075207
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28731) - you deserved it (3797)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:50pm - love - by painfetish8021 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had just bought a new $60 basketball and decided to go try it out . Five minutes into playing, the ball decided to roll into the hands of a little girl,ho then said, "Mine" . I thought it was cute, until she skipped over to her parent's car and they drove off . FML

#20068584
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28831) - you deserved it (4814)

On 09/12/2012 at 4:52am - kids - by Bitchjackedmyball - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I got fird 4 saving mah company upwards of $6,000. I'm as confusd as you are. FML

Today, ma teacer assigned us teams in a class debate !! I landed on te team tat ad to argue te obviously wrong point of view !! Wen I finised, ma teacer told me and te entire class ow muc I disturbed er, and ow I reminded er of Hitler and Napoleon !! FML

#20058797
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26346) - you deserved it (2240)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today I unintentionally moand during my prostate exam. FML

#20092313
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34250) - you deserved it (6818)

On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

TODAY, MAH MUM FOUND OUT SHE'S PREGNANT. I WOULD BE HAPPY FOR HER, IF SHE KNEW WHO THE FATHER WAS. FML

#20060753
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24024) - you deserved it (1692)

On 09/06/2012 at 6:21pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I askd ma usband to watc our daugterile I ran a few errands !! Wile e treatd imself to a long nap, se decidd our fis needd a bubble bat, and squeezd out an entire bottle of dis soap !! I came ome to bubble all over te floor, five dead fis, and one sleeping usband !! FML

#20088451
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23335) - you deserved it (2594)

On 09/25/2012 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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