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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I Got Stopped By The Fuzz!! The Officer Told Me He "could Care Less" About My Excuses!! He Was Probably About To Let Me Go Without A Ticket, But My Inner Grammar Nazi Kicked In And I Explained Y He Meant To Say "couldn't Care Less." I Got The Ticket!! Big Fat FML

#20075636
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7444) - you deserved it (40495)

On 09/17/2012 at 12:47am - misc - by GN (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I walkd in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wantd to "seehat the fuss was about." I would have been angry if the sight of him dressd like this hadn't turnd me on more than he ever has in the 3 yeres we've been dating. real FML

#20080101
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27517) - you deserved it (5467)

On 09/19/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by ClaireBear150 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today , a stranger calld me , saying I look ot in te bra I was wearing. Wen I ung up , tinking it was a joke , I opend te back door , an saw a man running away from my backyard. FML

#20079219
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30243) - you deserved it (1968)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:02pm - misc - by jitiizer (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

2DAY MAH LITTLE SISTER CUMMED HOME CRYING CUZ SOMEONE HAD SHOWN HER A VIDEO ABOUT THE SLENDER MAN. TRYING TO CALM HER DOWN, I EXPLAINED TO HER THAT HE WASN'T REAL, JUST LIKE SANTA CLAUS. SHE LOOKED UP AT ME AND SAID "SANTA'S NOT REAL?" IT'S BEEN 3 HOURS, AND SHE HASN'T STOPPED CRYING. FML

#20053719
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11588) - you deserved it (27835)

On 09/02/2012 at 6:07am - kids - by The Horrible Older Sister - United States (Arizona)

Today , my step-brother had some serious bowel distress and rushed to the bathroom . Because he forgot to quit his group chat with his buddies , I quickly found out that the reason he's so over-protective , and hostile to my male friends , is cuz he wants to get into my pants . FML

#20085042
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25481) - you deserved it (1910)

On 09/23/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by creepedasfuck (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today... I had a date with a guy from the Internet. I'm 6ft1... which tends to put potential dates off... so I'd slyly knocked a few inches off mah description. Turns out he'd done the same. He'd added a whole foot to his height. I had to crouch to talk to him. big fat FML

#20071299
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19720) - you deserved it (12469)

On 09/14/2012 at 4:26am - love - by TallGal (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Taday I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush nipple while closing laptop. FML

#20090663
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21434) - you deserved it (6594) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/27/2012 at 12:10am - health - by Display - Sent from mobile version

Today , I found out my ex-boyfriend of a month has a new girlfriend!! That girl is my cousin , the same one who's been listening to my tears fall as I've confided my feelings to her 4 the past few weeks!! mega FML

#20091337
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26954) - you deserved it (2212)

On 09/27/2012 at 7:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today , while my husband and I were arguing , he walkd away in the middle of my sentence yelling , "Remember babe , you're only my current wife!" FML

#20064293
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23790) - you deserved it (4503)

On 09/09/2012 at 4:34am - love - by JB (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, ( 5-second rule ) and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22713) - you deserved it (12567)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

today I was in a mall bathroomhen two grls started making out in the stall next to me. Before I could leave, they got really looool into it and caused our shared wall to tear from its hinges and collapse on top of me. FML

#20067220
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34473) - you deserved it (2681)

On 09/11/2012 at 3:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, mah grlfriend looool told mehat turns her on: cheese. fat FML

#20090283
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19510) - you deserved it (2456)

On 09/26/2012 at 10:29pm - love - by - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ad ma boss over fir dinner. Knowing tat I was angling fir a promotion, ma fifteen-year-old son spent te dinner uttering lines suc as "Wat's te point of sowering looool before bed?" and "Bitces ain't sit but oes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML

#20051346
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21756) - you deserved it (4328)

On 08/31/2012 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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