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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had a date with a guy from the Internet. I'm 6ft1, which tends to put potential dates off, so I'd slyly knocked a few inches off my description. Turns out he'd done the same. He'd added a whole foot to his height. I had to crouch to talk to him. FML

#20071299
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18333) - you deserved it (11886)

On 09/14/2012 at 4:26am - love - by TallGal (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wanted to "see what the fuss was about." I would have been angry if the sight of him dressed like this hadn't turned me on more than he ever has in the 3 years we've been dating. FML

#20080101
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20649) - you deserved it (4578)

On 09/19/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by ClaireBear150 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got stopped by the fuzz. The officer told me he "could care less" about my excuses. He was probably about to let me go without a ticket, but my inner Grammar Nazi kicked in and I explained why he meant to say "couldn't care less." I got the ticket. FML

#20075636
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6885) - you deserved it (38653)

On 09/17/2012 at 12:47am - misc - by GN (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my step-brother had some serious bowel distress and rushed to the bathroom. Because he forgot to quit his group chat with his buddies, I quickly found out that the reason he's so over-protective, and hostile to my male friends, is because he wants to get into my pants. FML

#20085042
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22236) - you deserved it (1626)

On 09/23/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by creepedasfuck (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML

#20064293
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20633) - you deserved it (4184)

On 09/09/2012 at 4:34am - love - by JB (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

#20090663
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18744) - you deserved it (6179) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/27/2012 at 12:10am - health - by Display - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend of a month has a new girlfriend. That girl is my cousin, the same one who's been listening to my tears fall as I've confided my feelings to her for the past few weeks. FML

#20091337
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24789) - you deserved it (2014)

On 09/27/2012 at 7:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, after months of believing my marriage has been better than ever, I found out that my husband has been cheating on me with our neighbor. I can't afford to move, and I have to see the fake-titted homewrecker every day. FML

#20089553
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22097) - you deserved it (1413)

On 09/26/2012 at 1:07pm - love - by sucker (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was in a mall bathroom when two girls started making out in the stall next to me. Before I could leave, they got really into it and caused our shared wall to tear from its hinges and collapse on top of me. FML

#20067220
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31342) - you deserved it (2395)

On 09/11/2012 at 3:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML

#20090283
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16526) - you deserved it (2143)

On 09/26/2012 at 10:29pm - love - by - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML

#20065720
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21231) - you deserved it (1976)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:39am - kids - by well okay then (woman) - United States

Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML

#20051346
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19302) - you deserved it (3994)

On 08/31/2012 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after math class, the resident creepy kid approached me and asked me out. I've only spoken to him twice before, so I was creeped out, and I politely declined. He totally lost it, and shouted that I'm a "friend-zoning bitch" before storming out of the room. FML

#20072034
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16859) - you deserved it (2252)

On 09/14/2012 at 8:03pm - love - by wow kid just leave me alone (woman) - United States



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