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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML

#20090283
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21489) - you deserved it (2651)

On 09/26/2012 at 10:29pm - love - by - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after having a long talk with my mother about gays, she told me that she was totally open. I felt completely relieved, being gay myself. Seconds later, she said, "But not for you. I want you to find me a nice girl that can give me lots of grand kids." FML

#20070762
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30163) - you deserved it (5036)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by EvilMother (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML

#20051346
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24337) - you deserved it (4665)

On 08/31/2012 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML

#20055368
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30905) - you deserved it (5478)

On 09/03/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I found out why the girl I like won't give me the time of day. Apparently, I called her ugly and pushed her into a puddle when we were in kindergarten. FML

#20091625
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19129) - you deserved it (29123)

On 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm - love - by thatwas10yearsago (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my wife knows tattoos are a huge turnoff for me. She decided the best way to change my mind about them would be to get one. Across her neck. Of our dog's name. FML

#20069857
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32744) - you deserved it (3459)

On 09/13/2012 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while at work, I helped my ex-husband pick out a ring for the girl he cheated on me with. FML

#20082014
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34036) - you deserved it (6806)

On 09/21/2012 at 11:11am - love - by Sad ex-wife (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, my mother shared my phone number with my brother, despite my explicit wishes that she didn't. He immediately went and put it on Craigslist and several other websites. This is the fourth time I've had to change my number for that very same reason. FML

#20066134
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28818) - you deserved it (2287)

On 09/10/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned I'm not allergic to gluten. My mom has kept me on a gluten free diet since I was 5. She was convinced I was allergic to it. I'm 25 and I am writing this over my first slice of pizza in 20 years. FML

#20057669
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36545) - you deserved it (2106)

On 09/04/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Emma - United States (Missouri)

Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML

#20079219
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33000) - you deserved it (2188)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:02pm - misc - by jitiizer (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I realized my husband and I have been fighting a lot lately, so to show him how much I care, I got a tattoo with his name on it. He hates it. FML

#20057350
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8005) - you deserved it (51436)

On 09/04/2012 at 12:44pm - love - by noname1025 - United States (Colorado)

Today, an incredibly rude woman came in for a hairdressing appointment. I had to put up with being yelled at and called a "clumsy bitch," a "pleb," and other insults for almost half an hour. When I finally managed to finish her hair, instead of tipping me, she spat at my feet and stormed out. FML

#20093857
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27492) - you deserved it (2175)

On 09/29/2012 at 4:34pm - misc - by scumdresser (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML

#20057214
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29816) - you deserved it (3783)

On 09/04/2012 at 9:51am - misc - by UnknownOperation (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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