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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, one of my regulars approached me at work, arms extended for a hug. He's always in a bad mood, so I figured for once he wasn't grumpy and I enthusiastically hugged him. Turns out he was just stretching his arms. He told me I was crazy and pretty much ran out of my store. FML

Today, my wife of four years revealed to me that she once had sex with six men at once back in college. Apparently she still fantasizes about it when we have sex. FML

#20087984
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31895) - you deserved it (3254)

On 09/25/2012 at 11:09am - intimacy - by supapimpin (man) - United States

Today, I was happy to finally receive an email from my younger sister, whom I have not been able to talk to for months due to being in the military stationed overseas. The email was to tell me my mom is in jail. FML

Today, I decided to help my parents out by tearing down the old, rusty swing set that's been in our backyard for years. Little did I know that there was a beehive hidden in the long grass, and I now have dozens of painful red bumps all over me. FML

#20080686
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16167) - you deserved it (1760)

On 09/20/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by kirassi919 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got food poisoning at work. I had my head in the toilet when the auto flush decided to turn on. The force of the flush was so powerful half of what I threw up splashed back into my face. FML

#20093027
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25079) - you deserved it (1974)

On 09/29/2012 at 12:08am - health - by cedechan (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, at work, I was talking to a Scottish woman when my coworker and I both told her we were also Scottish. To this she replied, "We Scottish people get around." I then said, "Tell me about it, I'm one of four siblings from my dad, he definitely gets around." She was talking about travel. FML

#20069784
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6702) - you deserved it (19654)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:19am - work - by jcedarholm (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was cycling with my uncle and became increasingly frustrated as we got further and further from our intended destination. It took me a while to figure out that I had somehow lost my uncle and was following a complete stranger. FML

#20066014
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9108) - you deserved it (21028)

On 09/10/2012 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my friend posted my phone number all over the Internet, claiming I was a deranged stalker who prank called her. I was calling from my new number to give it to her. FML

#20081331
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17805) - you deserved it (1517)

On 09/20/2012 at 9:39pm - misc - by Emily - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my parents changed the code on our alarm system while they were out of town. The police could not verify I was their son, despite spending hours trying to get hold of them. They thought it was just another telemarketer. FML

#20085837
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19030) - you deserved it (1199)

On 09/23/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML

#20081871
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20024) - you deserved it (1913)

On 09/21/2012 at 7:48am - love - by dateless (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend told me to text him when I got home to let him know I'd made it home safe. He said if I didn't, he'd assume that aliens had abducted me and that he'd get a new girlfriend. He was completely serious. FML

#20070673
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17845) - you deserved it (3171)

On 09/13/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by TaffyMichele (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received a drunken prank call from a girl I didn't know around 1am. I don't know what's sadder, that I carried out the conversation for 30 minutes, or that this was the first girl to call me in over a year. FML

#20087914
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18672) - you deserved it (2408)

On 09/25/2012 at 9:38am - misc - by badluckryan - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML

#20090653
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19131) - you deserved it (1375)

On 09/27/2012 at 4:19am - misc - by Creeped - United States



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