Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6920) - you deserved it (21287)
On 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28534) - you deserved it (1721)
On 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by ouch (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)
Today, I sent out a text saying "Smile! You're beautiful and don't let anyone tell you otherwise." to most of my contacts. I got one reply, from my best friend, saying, "Are you fucking stupid?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9821) - you deserved it (23460)
On 02/13/2012 at 11:27am - misc - by dis_bee_leaf (woman) - Canada
Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11602) - you deserved it (21915)
On 02/04/2012 at 5:16am - intimacy - by mattttbob - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35611) - you deserved it (2776)
On 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm - misc - by sorrygrandma - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I saw a picture of my creepy uncle and me on Facebook, which he had captioned "me and my woman," and posted several lewd comments on. I guess he forgot I'm his friend on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27831) - you deserved it (1476)
On 02/25/2012 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands British
Today, while on the bus, I watched a homeless man pop a pimple on his arm and eat it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23081) - you deserved it (2097)
On 02/05/2012 at 11:09pm - misc - by dadadoo - United States (New York)
Today, I decided to take a peek in my fiancé's vow book to see how far he's got. The only thing in there was the lyrics to a song from the movie Shrek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7955) - you deserved it (16156)
On 02/25/2012 at 11:09pm - misc - by KMO - United States
Today, someone actually thought it was appropriate to compare my mother's death to the death of their cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24138) - you deserved it (2026)
On 02/20/2012 at 8:05pm - misc - by ashleigh_anarchy (woman) - Australia
Today, my bra burst apart in the middle of class. I then had the privilege of asking my male teacher if I could borrow his stapler to put it back together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20633) - you deserved it (2923)
On 02/13/2012 at 7:28pm - misc - by chlolivia (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25651) - you deserved it (5652)
On 02/25/2012 at 6:25am - misc - by badmom (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6711) - you deserved it (47177)
On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States
Today, while sitting on the toilet, I noticed there was no toilet paper left, so I dug through my purse to use my one and only pad as a substitute. It clogged the toilet, and I started my period ten minutes later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25855) - you deserved it (14841)
On 02/09/2012 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
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