Today, I went on a date to the zoo. I soon found out that my date had eaten several hash brownies before entering. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17981) - you deserved it (2813)
On 01/16/2012 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23191) - you deserved it (17393)
On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)
Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28240) - you deserved it (2801)
On 01/19/2012 at 3:32am - intimacy - by missprude666 (woman) - Australia
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25028) - you deserved it (4425)
On 01/09/2012 at 1:14am - love - by Whyme (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I am 8 weeks pregnant. I have debilitating 'morning sickness' all day. And now I get to add peeing my pants every time I throw up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21188) - you deserved it (3416)
On 01/07/2012 at 9:07am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I played Call Of Duty online against someone who turned out to be wanking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17621) - you deserved it (5027)
On 01/24/2012 at 5:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. In tears, I called my best friend and told him everything. He responded with one- or two-word answers throughout, but I felt better all the same. That is, until I heard him begin to take a loud piss half-way through my sentence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19425) - you deserved it (4386)
On 01/20/2012 at 9:31pm - love - by fuckthepopo (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10940) - you deserved it (43692)
On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - work - by Needsanewjob (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I made a drunken bet with friends that I could pour lighter fluid on my hands, light it, and shake it out before I got burned. I lost. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4850) - you deserved it (43673)
On 01/27/2012 at 1:48am - health - by batsu (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5020) - you deserved it (37275)
On 01/27/2012 at 10:13pm - health - by smith (man) - United Kingdom (York)
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41073) - you deserved it (36325)
On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I picked up a hitchhiker. He was well dressed, and seemed trustworthy. As soon as he got in, he pulled out a gun and stole my wallet and car. All of this occurred in front of a sign warning against picking up hitchhikers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8639) - you deserved it (57289)
On 01/04/2012 at 1:28am - money - by hitchhiked - United States (California)
Today, at school, I was scheduled to give a presentation to my class. As I arrived, my teacher said to me, "You're bleeding from the 120th pimple on your left cheek." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33422) - you deserved it (2917) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/19/2012 at 4:59pm - misc - by elite -
Monday 20 May 2013
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