Today, I went to a party and the cops came to bust the party. I jumped out the window of a second story house in order to avoid getting arrested. I broke my leg in three places and got a concussion. The cops let everyone go with a warning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32841) - you deserved it (141056)
On 03/16/2009 at 12:02pm - misc - by natty (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I spent a solid four hours and over one hundred dollars preparing a nice fancy meal for my new girlfriend. A delicious three pound rack of ribs with a sweet and sour marinade. Steam broccoli with melted cheese. Home made buttermilk biscuits. I serve the meal. She doesn't eat beef. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23886) - you deserved it (52384)
On 03/16/2009 at 5:55am - misc - by WhatdyaDo - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I jokingly had kinky conversation via text message with a good guy friend. He was pretending to be a stranger and was fishing for compliments and asked to have a foursome. Turns out, my friend lost his phone and I spent 2 hours talking to a pervert about what lingerie I was wearing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43654) - you deserved it (30171)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by textraped (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was talking to this hot girl I have dinner with every week. Lately she’s always telling me how she loves me and I do the same. Today she said: “The way we talk and act around each other, people would think we were dating.” My answer was: "Aren't we?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (70297) - you deserved it (11255)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by Nick (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was rejected from the University of Washington. My dad has been a professor there for 30 years, and is on the board of admissions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (319874) - you deserved it (66427)
On 03/16/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had one of the worst panic attacks in years. I was worried nobody cared about me and that I had completely messed up my life. I was hyperventilating and crying hysterically. My mom walked by my room, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make those noises, at least shut the door." FML
I agree, your life sucks (155734) - you deserved it (19472)
On 03/15/2009 at 11:38pm - misc - by Screwed (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (525139) - you deserved it (318310)
On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I heard back from my store management interview at Target. I was offered an overnight stock clerk position. When I called HR to find out if my application was in the wrong file I was told I lack the leadership qualities necessary for Target. I graduated with honors from a military school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68573) - you deserved it (4351)
On 03/15/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by yanksbitethebig1 - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I rode in the cab on the way back to my dorm from the airport. The taxi driver was on the phone and not really paying attention. I paid him and got out of the cab, but he drove away before I could get my luggage out of the trunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60610) - you deserved it (3750)
On 03/15/2009 at 8:49pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML
I agree, your life sucks (99895) - you deserved it (5690)
On 03/15/2009 at 11:47am - misc - by Alexa23 (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I went to a birthday party for my friend's daughter. I picked up a gift for the girl and another for her parents. I got the mother a cute little garden stone that read "What our children see in the world depends on what we show them." Later, I found out her daughter is blind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57441) - you deserved it (14075)
On 03/15/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was shopping with my friends and I got asked by a man if I could be in one of his commercials. I obviously said yes without thinking twice. I then found out that he wanted me to be the before picture for an acne control moisturizer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51977) - you deserved it (7512)
On 03/15/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by sad45 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50914) - you deserved it (16747)
On 03/15/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by marsbar (woman) - United States (New York)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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