Miscellaneous: Today, my grandfather proudly informed me that the dump he'd...

By a - 29/03/2012 15:19 - United States

Today, my grandfather proudly informed me that the dump he'd just took looked like a tiger claw. He announced this during dinner, and told us not to flush it until he could take a picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 743

You deserved it 2 146

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

Anaconda

By lizbeth - 23/05/2021 04:01

Today, I took a massive shit and flushed the toilet, but it apparently didn’t flush properly. My mom then entered the bathroom, took a picture of my shit, and showed it to everyone she knows. She doesn’t understand why I’m embarrassed, and thinks that I should instead "take pride" in my giant poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 207

By lvegadelgado_6 - 10/08/2015 14:32 - United States - Deerfield

Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 546

You deserved it 2 128

Don't mention it

By PoorGramps - 09/12/2009 07:39 - United States

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 452

You deserved it 3 138

By what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god - 05/04/2013 18:51 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 688

You deserved it 4 833

As a treat

By Username - 28/06/2011 20:40 - United States

Today, I stepped in a turd. Not a dog turd, my grandmother's turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 079

You deserved it 4 728

Taco Bell, huh?

By tanya - 25/10/2010 12:32 - Canada

Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I checked my Facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption, "This is what Taco Bell does." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 151

You deserved it 41 014

By BadDad - 30/04/2017 15:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was summoned to the bathroom by my three-year-old, who still needs help cleaning up sometimes. When I walked in, he looked so happy and proud as he pointed to the trash can saying, "Look at my big poop!". Buying a new trash can tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 809

You deserved it 682

By Anonymous - 27/08/2011 23:07 - Canada

Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 499

You deserved it 5 621

How? Why?

By Noname - 12/03/2009 19:56 - United States

Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 038

You deserved it 31 362

By fugachumi - 07/08/2011 08:08 - United States

Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 833

You deserved it 3 513

commedia 16

Thursday 29 March 2012 18:52

Charlie Sheen in 20 years?

The_Creeper_fml 8

Thursday 29 March 2012 18:52

Can I have a copy of the picture?

Comments

hippyhater3000 4

Thursday 29 March 2012 18:50

first!!!!

Sybarite_fml 5

Thursday 29 March 2012 18:51

Sounds legit

iFizzgig 11

Thursday 29 March 2012 21:04

Almost as legit as the free candy van

Clozzie 0

Friday 30 March 2012 0:46

How to finish the fml: We dont own a camera. FML

Frijolero_92 1

Friday 30 March 2012 4:15

I once took a dump that resembled the Blue Öyster Cult cross :3

commedia 16

Thursday 29 March 2012 18:52

Charlie Sheen in 20 years?

iliketurdles 7

Thursday 29 March 2012 19:44

You really think he'll be alive in 20 years?

olpally 32

Thursday 29 March 2012 20:20

It sounds like he's already at the Charlie sheen part of his life right now... He's "winning" with a tiger claw dump...

idontknowyou123 0

Thursday 29 March 2012 21:50

I was wondering what would happen if you drink tigers blood...

FMLshark 12

Thursday 29 March 2012 22:43

One of the many side effects of tiger blood...

mikeofthunder 13

Thursday 29 March 2012 23:44

Charlie Sheen in twenty years? Try Charlie Sheen now

suncifir 6

Friday 30 March 2012 0:04

This reminds me of the book Running With Scissors. Dr. Finch thinking his shit was a sign from god

Maddidaddi 0

Friday 30 March 2012 2:28

Lmao. 31!

dobbyisfreeeeeee 10

Saturday 31 March 2012 8:55

Ten

xIBleedPurplex16 0

Thursday 29 March 2012 18:52

Ew...

JustDerpin 11

Thursday 29 March 2012 21:36

Well if it wasnt "Ew", I doubt OP wouldve posted this.

The_Creeper_fml 8

Thursday 29 March 2012 18:52

Can I have a copy of the picture?

teague95 16

Thursday 29 March 2012 19:14

ditto ^

ladyLALAA 28

Thursday 29 March 2012 22:49

Pics or it didn't happen!

staymintyfresh 13

Thursday 29 March 2012 18:52

That's disgusting

teague95 16

Thursday 29 March 2012 19:15

No shit? see what I just did there

Krirn 21

Thursday 29 March 2012 19:18

I see what you attempted.

teague95 16

Thursday 29 March 2012 19:21

Hey Jackie Chan chill

teague95 16

Thursday 29 March 2012 20:25

^we get it you recently bought a dictionary

zen1979 16

Thursday 29 March 2012 20:50

FMLshark 12

Thursday 29 March 2012 22:45

Someone just discovered how to use a thesaurus. Congratulations.

Maddidaddi 0

Friday 30 March 2012 2:30

Not sure if I should agree with you, but I do.

FMLsAreAwesome 0

Friday 30 March 2012 3:46

6- You don't say?

KeannaLove 32

Thursday 29 March 2012 18:53

Hey, he's just finding happiness in the little things in life. Albeit gross, but still.

perdix 29

Thursday 29 March 2012 18:53

Good thing it didn't look like a bear claw. To achieve such a perfect shape, he probably scored a Flawless Victory!

teague95 16

Thursday 29 March 2012 19:17

hey I ate a bear claw for breakfast! thought I'd share.

danielhartlesss 13

Thursday 29 March 2012 18:54

At least he didn't made you take a picture of it.

teague95 16

Thursday 29 March 2012 19:19

I know, gramps took all the fun

Krirn 21

Thursday 29 March 2012 18:56

Imagine flipping through the photo album one day just to find that picture along with all the baby pictures.

rattusrattus 18

Thursday 29 March 2012 20:30

"This is Johnny as a baby... this is Chloe... this is La-a Layby Scrabble... his parents were always a bit odd... and this is the Tiger Shit of Destiny! Do you want to know the legend of the Tiger Shit?"