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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went on a first date with a guy I don't know very well. He told me to dress in formal attire so I assumed he was taking me to a nice dinner. He took me to his brothers wedding, and introduced me as "the one" to his entire family. FML

#720830
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (106474) - you deserved it (7207)

On 03/31/2009 at 6:44am - love - by lizzardbreath (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the girl I've had a crush on forever asked me why the pin on my Letterman jacket had two guys doing it. I told her it was for participating in a wrestling tournament. And she responded, "Oh I thought you were finally coming out of the closet!" FML

#703892
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60538) - you deserved it (6462)

On 03/30/2009 at 4:16pm - love - by Seanzy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling on bed watching tv. He gets up at one point and turns the light off and I asked him why. He said "You look better in the dark". FML

#680104
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76943) - you deserved it (5547)

On 03/29/2009 at 1:41pm - love - by sadgf (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall. When she said "yes", the entire food court broke out in applause, and my girlfriend and I were escorted out of the mall for "starting a riot". I never knew clapping was a crime. FML

#677461
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102944) - you deserved it (22359)

On 03/29/2009 at 10:03am - love - by engaged (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was hanging with my boyfriend and when his mom came to pick him up, he introduced me. She talked to me politely and i thought we hit it off very well. As I was walking away I hear her say "That's your new girlfriend? Honey, you could do so much better". FML

#675536
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75797) - you deserved it (4058)

On 03/29/2009 at 2:40am - love - by crushed (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after a tiff with my boyfriend, I said to him, "You could at least PRETEND to love me sometimes." He responded with, "I do pretend to love you!" FML

#672131
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53743) - you deserved it (24211)

On 03/28/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by Betsydoll (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was going through my old MSN conversations. I then realized that when I first got MSN, I didn't know that messages you sent after people went offline would be delivered to them when they signed in. I used to type 'I love you' to my crush after every time he went offline. FML

#665920
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33136) - you deserved it (86407)

On 03/28/2009 at 6:13pm - love - by WeezysBaby (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home a few days early from a 3-month business trip. As I opened my apartment door, hoping to surprise my girlfriend, the man she's apparently been cheating on me with promptly punched me in the face. He thought I was a burglar. FML

#663425
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113997) - you deserved it (4786)

On 03/28/2009 at 3:42pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML

#662645
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27671) - you deserved it (77677)

On 03/28/2009 at 2:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, for my girlfriend's birthday, I got her an external hard drive and my grandmother's engagement ring. When she opened both boxes, I took her hand and looked deep in her eyes and told her to pick whichever she wanted. She took the external hard drive, even though she already has one. FML

#657715
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68263) - you deserved it (13187)

On 03/28/2009 at 4:07am - love - by Anon. (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I sent my boyfriend of over a year a text message telling him how much I loved him, how perfect he is for me and what I love about him. He sent me back a text saying, "I thought you had class." FML

#656324
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53873) - you deserved it (7931)

On 03/28/2009 at 1:38am - love - by Marine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, me and my girlfriend went to the club. The song "Single Ladies" by Beyonce came on; the DJ came on the mic and said "Single ladies raise your hands!" My girlfriend raised her hand. FML

#654050
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62034) - you deserved it (6739)

On 03/27/2009 at 11:40pm - love - by dumpedattheclub (man) - United States (Texas)



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