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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my girlfriend broke up with me telling me I have problems communicating and that I didn't understand her. When I asked her why she didn't talk to me about this before she said "I didn't want to talk about it." FML

#2987293
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50314) - you deserved it (3131)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was invited out to a date by my ex-boyfriend. He seemed really excited to reconnect and kept holding my hand and complimenting how I looked. Out of nowhere a girl runs up to him screaming. It was his current girlfriend, he was using me to make her jealous. FML

#2983603
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48721) - you deserved it (6206)

On 06/18/2009 at 12:52am - love - by savvylady (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I took home my grandpa's ashes. I then went out with my grandma, leaving my 5-year-old at home with my 12-year-old. When I got home, my beaming 5-year-old opened the door, covered in white powder. My grandmother asked where all the powder had come from. She pointed to the empty ashbox. FML

#2980433
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46382) - you deserved it (16992)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:40pm - love - by fcnk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was dropping my new boyfriend off at his house. I had never been there before, so he was giving me directions as I drove. We passed a small trailer home on the right. I commented without thinking, "I'm so glad I don't live in a house like that." My boyfriend told me to turn right. FML

#2973939
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10920) - you deserved it (63264)

On 06/17/2009 at 6:08pm - love - by emix (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I finished the run for a play in which I played a gay man. Now that all the performances are over, I have kissed a man more times in my life than I have kissed a woman. I'm straight. FML

#2963863
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51555) - you deserved it (9755)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:06am - love - by yashmoshin1 (man) - United States

Today, I asked out this girl I've been spending a lot of time with lately. She told me she was only hanging out with me because she thought I was gay and wouldn't try to get in her pants. FML

#2953608
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45689) - you deserved it (4587)

On 06/16/2009 at 8:59pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I stepped outside to wait for a cute guy to arrive after arduously preparing for our first date. Just as he rounded the corner, I tripped over the last stair and landed headfirst into my mom's fresh pot of snapdragons. My mom uses compost and manure for her plants. FML

#2934855
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40579) - you deserved it (4639)

On 06/16/2009 at 5:13am - love - by flowerfail (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, we had our divorce hearing and now it is final. As we were leaving the courthouse, I told my ex-wife how happy I was that we were finally free from each other. Then my junky old van wouldn't start and I had to beg her for a ride home. FML

#2929763
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14548) - you deserved it (65434)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:35am - love - by Aerostar (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went on a date with this guy and he was on his phone the whole night. When I got home I checked his facebook since he barely paid attention to me. His status was, "So-and-so is taking out the trash" from mobile posted an hour ago. I got home from my date 30 mins ago. FML

#2920786
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38578) - you deserved it (3566)

On 06/15/2009 at 7:57pm - love - by skreweduP (woman) - United States

Today, I was on the phone with a prospective blind date. He asked me to describe myself so I said that I was fun, attractive and a little chubby but not fat. My 7 year old sister walked up to me and screamed "Jesus doesn't like it when we lie!". FML

#2914098
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49644) - you deserved it (14055)

On 06/15/2009 at 3:11pm - love - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility of the turtle that I never wanted but she insisted we buy "together." A little bit of research has revealed that Andre will live for "at least 30 years." FML

#2911637
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46723) - you deserved it (7004)

On 06/15/2009 at 1:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after buying the plane ticket to Glendale, CA to visit 17 year old Courtney who I met on a dating website, she called me for the first time to say that she was actually 19 year old Seth from Atlanta, GA. FML

#2903114
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16026) - you deserved it (92447)

On 06/15/2009 at 1:42am - love - by gabe8 (man) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, I finally got enough courage to ask out this girl that I've liked for a year. While we were out at lunch, she ran into her ex that she had just broken up with. They then had a long conversation about their relationship, and ended up getting back together. She was my ride home. FML

#2853561
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52509) - you deserved it (3476)

On 06/13/2009 at 8:15am - love - by e.middlechild (man) - United States (Texas)



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