Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML

Sign up for more!

Share on Facebook

ReTweet

More FMLs?

caroline's life also sucks

RC3Welly also deserved it

Comments

she did you a favor.

Your gain, her loss. If she wants some blood sucking, makeup wearing, sparkles in the sunlight guy...she'll be looking a long time. She needs a reality check.

Dude, in the long run, you will be absolutely fucking pleased with this turn of events.

This comment has been moderated.

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

all she wanted was for you to truely love her: to tell her and to show her. that's all.

DUDE YOU ARE SO LUKY TO GET AWAY FROM THAT CRAZY BITCH

This comment has been moderated.

This comment has been moderated.

This comment has been moderated.

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

Oh come on........Edward is F.A.N.T.A.S.T.I.C <3

This comment has been moderated.

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

haha
By beloved boyfriend is dealing with me because i fell in love with that fictional characters...
I havent thought of breaking up but I admit i wouldnt mind to have a relationship with that vampire in particular.

on the other hand, She is just stupid... she didnt have balls to tell you the truth and gave you a lame excuse.

they're right... she's a nut job who takes fiction too seriously

This comment has been moderated.

This comment has been moderated.

Why?

I'm gonna go ahead and say that twilight fans are the ultimate annoyance on this world. Anyone who would compare real men to a (poorly written) fictional character is probably housing the mind of an angsty middle schooler inside the body of a viable girlfriend. Sad thing is, she probably isn't giving you a shitty excuse because twilight fans really are so stupid that they think everything in twilight is applicable to their lives.

lol how old is she, 12?

A lucky escape dude, if she wants someone like Edward, a dangerously obsessed stalker then why not...

This comment has been moderated.

This is the same as in some other story, when a girl was dumped for a console game. People who dump others for fictional worlds deserve to be alone. Period.

This comment has been moderated.

Wow. what a f**king nutjob.
I am a twlight fan, but who would want Edward? He has serious issues, but it sounds like your little friend does too... Match made in heaven?

im going to take a wild guess and say you kids are still in middle school..otherwise someone needs to stop living in la-la land and make their way back to reality...

i think im in love with you.

LOL comment #7 FTW

Wow, you must be an awesome boyfriend then, honestly. Because Edward? He's a fucking abusive, manipulative, overprotective, overbearing FREAKSHOW.

This comment has been moderated.

i can't believe that you would even date someone that reads that crap. i refuse to have anything to do with anyone that is obsessed with that bs.

This comment has been moderated.

lol #30 I agree but try to keep it cool on the language, thanks :)

Offer to cut her breaks and watch her in her sleep, then you'll win her back...

/sarcasm

Dude, you are better off without her if she's that delusional.

FKK i hateeee edward my ex was obsessed with him and when we broke up i said sarcastically "im sorry i couldnt be more like edward, a fictional character" she said, yeah, to bad.

If she wants to date a 108(?) year old abusive vampire then by all means let her. She'll be alone for the rest of her life.

You are lucky to get away from someone who compares you to twighlight....besides who want to be with a girl who gets off on a book

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

okay so i am a girl and have read twilight...good book
and yes edward is amazing...but ur gf is dumb for breaking up with
you for that!! edward isnt real and nor will he ever be....
i hope you find someone soon!!

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

This comment has been moderated.

She is a freak, man! Real women prefer Jacob...in wolf form.

Edward was around for hundreds of years, yet hadn't matured beyond the level of a fickle teenage boy. Plus, he doesn't get furry when he gets all worked up. He sucks.

your ex is a stupid fangirl bitch :D

I love twilight. But Im willing to admit that Edward is fictional.

i dumped my girlfriend for not being more like Megan Fox

Lets just say, your not the only one... my ex did that excessively...

#10 needs 2 face reality. >.>''

and sorry 2 hear about that. she's lame.

I vote you deserved this, because you chose a girl who said that.

when i read this i WTFed.
whatever, her loss.
she's gonna be looking awhile if she's looking for a guy who doesn't want sex.

fuck her life.

For serious???!!!!!! CRAZY BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I agree with all the people saying dude, I think you got off lucky. If she's that stupid, you're better off with another girl anyway.

Trust me, that's a very very good thing that she dumped you. Girls like that are insane and she would make you insane eventually if you stay with her long enough.

Sounds like yet another teenage drama. Unless she's an adult, then she needs professional help (if she calls him "her Edward").

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

I read and enjoyed Twilight, and I agree with your girlfriend that Edward is amazing.... But for her to forget that Edward is a FICTIONAL CHARACTER is ridicules. You deserve better than someone who's in love with their imaginary friend.

Next time you see her, tell her she's got a good chance. Edward only likes girls who're plain and ordinary, and have minds that he can never read or predict.

edward prefers to eat pussy when the girl is menstruating

Happened to me, too. Damn books.

Shes's totally crazy! With such a girlfriend, you are the luckiest man alive. She did not dumped you, she made you a favor.

Wow. I'm gonna agree with everyone else who's said your gf's crazy and it's good she dumped you. I mean, I like those books, and even I can see that Edward's the opposite of a good guy to be with. Especially the stalking her while she sleeps in her bedroom - creepy much? You're better off finding someone who's a little more grounded in reality and emotionally healthy.

she really did you a favor, but girls believe that shit about love? it's a child's novel! any 15 yo is more realistic than the characters and, if i may, the writer.

I'm not talking about the reality of vampires, of course, just about reality of life.

She'll be back....
And you can tell her to 'suck off' ...

Same here -_-

Ok, so she wants a flat (personality wise) character that may be perfect at the activities he does but likes to drink blood, stalk people, and is liable to kill her?

...Erm, I hope for her sake that she doesn't bump into a sex offender

dude, being with a 13 yr old girl is wrong in the first place
:P

Hahahah that is some funny shit. Her luck tho is she wont find a Edward she will find herself a James, who doesnt want to love her he just wants to Feed

Send her a gift box with glitter and glue XD

Ok, so here's what you do. This will take a lot of dedication but trust me it's completely worth it. Get a 100% make-over, make sure not even you can recognize yourself, go to Hot Topic and buy any Twilight gear you can find. When you see her make sure you're wearing all of your Twilight wear, carry all of the books from the series on you, if you can even get an illegal copy of the movie have that on you too. Talk to her about Twilight, it won't be hard to fake your way through it, just say you love Edward, you hate Jacob and you wish that you could find yourself a real-life Bella, she'll melt for you here. Once you have her in your grasp start dating her and make sure she doesn't take any birth control pills and one night have ravenous sex with her, like bestial almost, completely condom free. Wait a few weeks to months and when she comes to tell you that you guys are now expecting and that you should at least talk marriage plans over reveal to her that it's really you and that you absolutely hate everything Twilight, and that the books and movie make for decent firewood at best. Then while she's crying, this is the most crucial part, scream at the top of your lungs while rearing your whole body in preparations for a punch, "FAAALCOOOON!" And as your make contact with her embryo enriched stomach finish the phrase, "PAAWWWNCH!" As she's lying on the floor grab the copy of the sex tape you no-doubtingly made the night you conceived the child, that may or may not be alive depending on your ability Falcon Punch, and sell it online to make up some of the cost of this whole revenge expedition.

This comment has been moderated.

That girls retarded if she thinks she can actually find a guy thats like someone created by a woman. She did you a favor.

#66. Marry me.

ummm
any girl who would break up with her real boyfriend for a fictional creeper vampire character from a mediocre book doesn't deserve to be in a relationship

it's her loss, not yours.. in fact, now you can find yourself a girl who isn't caught up with fantasy

#17 : You're made of win.
*
& Why isn't this hard to believe?

#69, I just may. As long as you're female, I mean for one I'm straight and for two I live in California where we passed prop 8.

"Send her a gift box with glitter and glue XD"
Omg, #65, why didn't I think of that? lol!

#66 & #42 - freaking awesome XD

im in the same boat buddy
:(

Yah she definitely did you a favor. Probably the most immature thing I've ever heard. lol. fyl.

wow, she's friggin' crazy. you're better off without her.

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

Ok, so i already know that i'm going to get completely ambushed here, because all of you guys have great points. If a girl is about to leave you for a fictional character, shes probably not worth your time. But, I think she meant that maybe that book opened her eyes a little bit. Thousands of stupid lifeless girls (such as myself) have fallen in love with this Edward guy. Trust me, if he existed he would be truly the perfect boy...but no, he does not exist. I doubt your xgf is ever going to find him, but im sorry to say that I have used those exact words to my boyfriend while engulfed deep within the Twilight saga. SO forgive me if possible, but when that author made up the character of Edward, she was cruel by making him the most incredible, charming, and addicting person possible. My boyfriend and I fight alot, and I dont know if that was the case with you guys as well, but when he treated me badly, the first thing i would tell myself is.."some day youll find your Edward..and youre sure as hell not dating him now." Edward is not a human, but a symbol of something better that people now believe exists. He doesnt exist, and as much as I, or your xgf, wishes he does, she will never find him. Another point, shes crazy as hell because she actually left you for that reason. I would never leave my boy just because of an incredible character. Not knowing how your relatinoship was, I cannot tell you whsoe loss it is, but if you want to take a different point of view, maybe using mine as a more sane view of hers, then I will tell you yes....shes a crazy fucking bitch.

everybody has an edward...he is not actually edward, hes just the person thats perfect to them. Maybe your not hers...but trust me...your somebodies ;-) maybe your just not right for eachother..

#42 LOL Mad Props

OMG. You are soooo better off. Thank God you got out.

Holy crap... I agree with #81

She is a loser and a idiot you are better off without her. Edward is a crazy abusive stalker and fat girls around the world seem to think hes prince charming. seriosully you doged a bullet. but if you want her back just take apart her car so she cant hang out with any other guys(thats what edward did)

She's retarded, therefore she did you a favour. FHL and wish her a great career as a hairdresser/beautician/supermarket cashier.

My fiance and her friends were all obsessed with the books and with their super-dreamy Edward. Solution? Take from the philosophy of Sun Tzu and "know thy enemy". I learned about Edward, I went to the book club to hear the discussion, I talked about the story and genre, I even went see the movie. And then I slowly start to do the little things that make ol' Eddy-boy more appealing. If she wants romance and passion and intrigue and lust and protection, give it to her! It will only make things better and hotter for both of you :-D To hell with a book, I AM her 'Edward'

Don't get me wrong...I think fictional characters are fascinating. I read, write, nerdily roll 20 sided dice, the whole nine yards. And before anyone jumps on my back, I HAVE read the Twilight books. I literally had nothing better to do with myself a few days over last summer. And I honestly think they're just plain bad: bad writing, bad influence, bad moral message, etc. Whomever posted this...you got a lucky break. Be glad. To all the ladies unrealistically waiting for someone like Edward, you go for it. It gives the rest of us an opportunity to date the REAL guys, who are nice and sweet and make incredible boyfriends without being manipulative crazy people. And to all the guys, just ride it out, avoid the crazy fangirls, and don't take any of their crap. If there's any justice in the world, the Twilight mania will run its course soon.

#87 You're my new favorite person. I read the first Twilight book, at the request of my sister. It was the worst thing I'd ever read, and I've read a lot. I told this to I friend of mine who proceeded to berate me about how I must not know what good books are, because Twilight was amazing. I'm glad to have finally found another voice of reason.

To the original poster. Good freaking riddance. Edward is a creepy psycho anyway.

#78 - he's a symbol for an empty vessel. Please see #27 for other references as to why Edward should not be looked upon as any sort of symbol of the perfect man.

Ok. I'm agreeing with everyone else. You should be glad you got away as easily as you did. She'd be expecting you to start watching her every move and cutting the cables to her car so she couldn't go see her friends.

Creeepy.

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

I love Edward... <3 <3 <3

Her loss dude. She can sit in her room and be in fetal position crying about how edward is going to come any day now.
im sorry to hear that she dumped you for a creature that does not exist. it shows poor social and communication skills, and shows that she isnt even remotely ready to be in a real life relationship, if she is going to be comparing a real wholesome boy such as yourself to a poorly written fictional character, then she needs a slap in the face, a HUUUUGE reality check, and someone to burn those books, because they have obviously taken over her mind in a non healthy way.
im a fan of twilight but im not going to bring it out in the realworld where it doesnt belong. it stays on my bookshelf.
for a spot of advice, dont bother reading the book. its not worth reading it if your ex wants you to be more like the "boy of her crazy fantasy".

Wow. I read the books and know a man in a book is different from a man in life. You deserve someone with common sense anyway. Think of it as a good thing.

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

She does sound mildly crazy, but whatever, Edwards descrption sounds HOT. Maybe she's in love with a fictional character because no other creep in this world seem capable of a relationship?

dude a ton of girls love edward! just be more romantic and commited, that's really what she wants. sucks that she broke up with you over it though!

sorry to hear that man.
I have read twilight...thought good ol Edward has some major problems, as does the author. And this is all coming from a chick that loves the books.
I understand that she may have been only 14 and doesn't understand the concept of parasitism and abusive relationships (too many syllables) but maybe by that age she should realize the difference between fiction and reality. However, sometimes the concept is just a little too much to handle.
Best of luck. You will look back on all of this and send her a thank you note :)

I wouldn't take it too personally. It's definitely her, not you.

All Twilight criticism aside, if that girl is dissatisfied with the relationship and doesn't know how to work at it or vocalize her complaints other than telling you "you're not like this 100 year old virgin vampire that sparkles in the sun, I quit" then obviously she's not mature enough to be in a relationship. If it wasn't "her Edward' it would have been something else eventually. You don't want to be shackled down to someone so selfish.

Bahaha. This is def my favorite. I picture this girl holding her Twilight book, and worshiping it like the bible. haha
That movie sucked major balls.

Hahaha! She's delusional if she thinks she can a guy like that. Too perfect to psychically exist.

hahaha something is wrong with her...but edward is pretty hott!

yeah...good books...EDWARD is AMAZING...but she won't find anyone like him!

dont get me wrong...i love vampires...and chick flicks
BUT
that guy is a fag...he is the pansiest [yes, thats a word] vampire ever. i feel like throwing up when i hear some girl say something about how *wonderful* he is...
sucks to be you dude. she was probably a ho anyway.

That is hilarious.

lol #54.

LOL bummer dude.

Tell her you'll bleach your skin and start trying to eat her when she has her period.

# 87 and 88, you two are amazing. i'll admit, i can be a fangirl at times, but Twilight was probably one of the worst books i've ever read. the characters were flat, uninteresting, and i could have sworn i'd read this story about 5 other times. i'm glad to see there are other girls who aren't giving into the craze.

by the way dude, you wouldn't want to have been with her, like everyone says. she would probably want you to role play edward in bed, and i'm not sure how anyone could get it up doing that.

OMFG dude you should be HAPPY.

LOL for comment #7.

This comment has been moderated.

Twilight is dumb. Edward is not real. He is not amazing. Get real, Twilight fans. Look for real men instead of living in your fantasy world; unless you want to be alone forever, I suggest you make a big change fast. I think I'm in the 2% of females in this world who HATE Twilight. I could rant for hours about how stupid it is. It's so poorly written, the storyline makes absolutely no sense, and it's a downright disgrace to vampires.

Nosferatu is the way to go.

I went to see twilight movie with my ex and it was sooo shit i reckon i was about to literally shit bricks. Stupid story that has been ripped off by every fan fiction ever made. And #109 STFU go work your woman hole to Edward some more so we dont have to listen to you, Twilight is shit and how can you even judge this guy when you havent met him.

i mean i love twilight, but i am not about to tell my boyfriend to be like edward.

Maybe if you treated her more like a cherry cheesecake... :)

if you really think about it. Edward was a creep. hanging out in girls rooms, stalking them. i dunno about you. but if she wants the stalker type, let her get killed after she tries to get away from him :) hahaha, what a douche.

you're lucky to get rid of her dude. she is F'ed beyond belief. choosing a fictional vampire over a real person! i don't get the hype about twilight. isn't it some chick love story that doesn't happen in real life?

This comment has been moderated.

My ex-girlfriend admitted to me she had madly fallen in love with... Edward from Twilight.....

I reckon she "thinks about him in bed" too.......

wtf!?

#111, because that's what a ton of Twilight fans do. Anti-Twilighters have been called lesbians, because obviously if they can't appreciate Edward they can't be straight. It wouldn't be insulting if it weren't just something meant rudely and tossed at you without ever knowing you. They've also been called idiots, fat, ugly, obviously no man wants any piece of you, angry, and bitter.

Anyways, sorry you ever got together with her. She's fairly obviously immature and possibly a bit psycho too. I know it sounds harsh, but you really almost definitely are better off without her. Find someone who's not obsessed with a sparkly, abusive vampire next time. Good luck!

Maybe she just wanted someone old fashioned and romantic. Jeez!
Also, this IS the funniest FML I've ever read. Sorry, dude.

I hear you man. Same shit has happened to me time and time again. That girl broke up with me for another girl. FML indeed.

Heh. I meant "this". My bad. But on the other hand, all Twilight fan girls are cut from the same cloth. Your better off without her.

Take some cues from Edward the 100 year-old vampire, and you will have girls swooning at your feet. Guaranteed. Bring back the romance dudes.

Trust me, you're better off without a girlfriend who takes those shitty books seriously.

This comment has been moderated.

Believe me, you didn't want to be with her in the first place.
BTW, Edward is a bit of a jerk ( I really do not get what the fangirls see in him) so you're probably a better person for not being like him.

oh thats nothing new.
girls are in love with him.
its ridiculous -.-

crappy book, crazy fans, and sucky moive.. nuff said.. tought i do like the soups take on that movie
"if you like to see teenages talk softly then this movie is for you.."

crappy book, crazy fans, sucky movie. Nuff said.
BTW if i had a vampire stalker.. i would ram a alaskan pine cross through its heart so fast it couldn't even say "(crappy vampire voice) I'm here to suck you blood"
always keep one with me just in case..
P.S. crazy b*tch better off with out her..

am i the only girl not obssessed with some crazy stalker vampire? youre better off without her man. people who get sucked into fictional stories/movies DESERVE to be alone, lets face it. by the way #5- YOURE DUMB. #7-LMFAO KUDOS! #8-OH MY MEE i LOVE iT. #10-Hunny edward is as real as SANTA. #42- i would too. =]

ok
1) Edward is an AMAZING fictional character, no matter how dumb the books are
2) maybe she dumped you because you're not her type (pale, stalkerish and overbearingly sexy)
3) she's just a silly little girl who doesn't realize that Edward will never be hers
4) as everyone has said, you're better off without her
5) if you really want her back you can....nah don't do it
6) good luck finding someone else who isn't a complete psycho. its hard to do in a world like ours
7) i just like writing ridiculously long comments on these, so i'm done

I'm sorry she got interested in such bad literature. I would say harry potter is a much better read. Then again I would say they both suck.

Well, if she's looking for a dude who doesn't want sex, is a 108 year old virgin who still lives with his "parents", sparkles in the sunlight, is a stalker, and has no personality...

#132 an "amazing fictional character" WITH NO PERSONALITY. NONE. His "appeal" is entirely based on looks.

#17 how would you feel about going on a date.

twilight is ripped off of a charlaine harris series anyway.

Edward is cool and everything, but she needs a reality check.

Bitch is crazy. You're better off.

This comment has been moderated.

Hey that sucks but don't feel too bad cause your probably not the first to have that happen to them....

umm if she truly did it just because of that reason then shes absolutely insane and unless you enjoying hurting yourself, staying with her is a terrible decision. She can go and have sex with that book till the rest of her life

speaking from a guy's perspective, i can understand the obsession with Edward. Your girl is not attracted to the fact that he's a vampire, or that he's manipulative / a stalker / over-protective. Instead, i think she's drawn to the mystique associated with Edward. he's like the embodiment of passion, power, confidence and romance, qualities that create attraction

Dude that's the best thing that ever happened to you. You seriously lucked out on this bitch. Go get drunk and find a normal girl.

Lemme get this straight- you were dating a girl whose idea of the perfect guy is some retarded stalker vampire? Like #144 said, that's probably the best thing that could have happened to you.

The fact that you dated a girl stupid enough to enjoy Twilight just proves you needed the reality check of getting dumped. I will admit that seeing as how you are apparently the only person left alive who hadn't heard of that terrible series yet, that is an unpleasant way to find out.

Also, #66 is my idol, and #98 made me laugh out loud. Did no one else pick up on the fact that "Psychically" does not mean the same thing as "Physically"? I know, because I used to get them confused, as well. When I was eight.

FALCOOOOOON PUUUUUUUUNCH!

Fuck Edward Cullen.
Fuck your ex girlfriend.

Wow.

Well this girl is obviously just another petty conformist pawn, who's still much too immature and hasn't learned to think for herself yet.

Good riddance.

#66 - I love you!

and lol at the chick. I love Twilight but thats taking it too an extreme hahaha.

Wow, your (ex) gf's a loser. Sorry, man.

AHAHAHAHA! I love anime guys and some fictional guys, but I think anyone who would dump a guy for a fictional character is a total dumbass. You are so much better off without the stupid chick.

My friend did that once, she got angry at her boyfriend because he wasn't more like Ryan from the OC. I still can't get over how stupid she was. Thankfully, she's grown up quite a bit since then.

You deserve much better anyways. The thought of reading/watching Twilight repulses me.

lulz

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH
suckerrrr.

the fact that your girlfriend is more attracted to a fictional character (no matter how wonderful that fictional character is, which edward definitely is!) is an issue on your part, not hers.
so maybe your life is fucked, but it's your fault for not being what she wanted.
so really you deserve it. congrats.

omg. AMEN to her <3
hahahaa

The same thing happened to my friend. Go figure the only book his gf has ever read would be a ridiculous fabrication of the "ideal man" written by a bored Mormon women. After reading it she tells him she hasn't been happy for 6 months, and breaks up with him. He's not a fan of Twilight, to say the least.

She wants a 107 year old abusive stalker? Wow, girl's got issues.

lol seriously dude, you don't know how lucky you are

IF SHE WANTS SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T EXIST THEN WITH A REAL PERSON THAT CARES ABOUT HER. THAN SHE NEEDS TO DO SOMETHING WITH HERSELF. PLUS THIS GIVES YOU A REASON TO MOVE ON AND FIND SOMEONE NEW.

OTL....

I love Twilight, but I would never actually expect it to happen! It's fiction! People are stupid haha

that is disgusting. you are better off without this girl. what a freak!

comment #7 and 27 ftw

they pretty much say it all

and #66 lmao

Hahaha, I already read the Twilight series, and I make fun of the fact that my boyfriend isn't like Edward all the time, but I'm not STUPID enough to dumb him for a fictional character.

He bought me Edwards poster for my birthday... god bless him. (the bf i mean)

You and a million others.

OMG.. i did not think anyone would take it sooo seriously .. i always tell my bf that jokingly but I am not serious.. sorry man

Haha wow sounds like an excuse to me. At least I hope so because if not she really is... weird.

haha
that is sad
people in my math class were talking about your fml story in school today haha

This is the worst FML I have ever seen.

LOL

Throw some glitter on your face and tell her you have to break up because IT'S NOT SAFE FOR HER TO DATE YOU. The vampire guy spends the whole first book trying *not* to date the main character.

You are better off, because if she wants you to be more like Edward then that would mean that you would be an obsessive stalker. . .

you're ex will fail at life. ahaha i have burning hate for the twilight fans. who happen to be some of my friends. lol not that i hate my friends...i just hate the fact they CONSTANTLY TALK ABOUT TWILIGHT.

yea. she wanted a bloodsucking vampire dude. i would laugh so hard if she went looking for an edward, a rapist responded to her saying he was a vampire then. actually. nvm. ;)

LOL. Most people would be choked to get dumped... but in your case, I'm guessing you were just confused as hell!

Be glad she's gone. Twilight fans are absolutely despicable. This "Edward" character not only paints an unrealistic image of men, he's also a fucking stalker and a pussy. And I'd know; I read all 4 of the books (wasn't my idea).

Well at least now you have the book so you can learn a few things.

your ex is crazy. next time i hope you find a girl who is interested in reality.

i met a girl when i went to see the movie and she told me she dumped her boyfriend cuz he wasnt anything like edwrad . i didnt think she was serious but i guess people are that crazy . i mean im pretty obsessed with twilight im not gonna lie but its not THAT serious.

woaza

Your ex girlfriend is a rabid twilight fan girl, she did you a favor, a VERY BIG favor.

Edward is the teenage girl equivalent of Pamela Anderson. Superficially appealing; overly exaggerated; completely two-dimensional.

Like most hormone-infused teenage boys, tween girls get all worked up over him. And like-wise many of them carry the same emotional and sexual maturity well into adulthood.

Thankfully, many guys and girls eventually grow up and develop better taste.

85... REALLY??? I have read all 4 books, I have no idea why, it was kind of like a train wreck (And I was on bed rest after being in the hospital... they made me feel better about MY life). I hated basically ALL the characters. I really don't see who could POSSIBLY want a boyfriend who seems to think that they are inept to take care of themselves, creepily stalks them, takes apart their car (when they are completely helpless and unable to put it back together) forces things on them that they don't want, and deep down really just wants to kill them. Cause he did. Want to.

That said, noname, you are lucky that you got out of that one, because I really think that seeing all of the qualities that you LACK you're perfectly capable and even likely to find another, less neurotic, unrealistic, immature and insane girl out there somewhere. I don't think it will be hard really.

I'd like to think that if vampires were real, they'd be hideous, vile, ravenous, uncontrollable killing machines with no remorse for life considering they've been cursed to live forever. If that's the type of "man" girls want, so be it.

Also, if anybody compares you to a fictional character AT ALL, even in your defense, they're crazy for personifying the character in the first place... stick with real life...

Throw a party, because you dodged a bullet there. A big, bazooka-sized bullet.

Re: #7

<3 That was a beautiful way to summarize that shit.

This is retarded that bitch is obviously crazy. He is a fucking fictional charcater so she is freaking crazy. Plus Edward is gay.

psh, i'd dump any guy for edward. i'd also sell my car.

It's wonderful that you all are so livid about her liking a fictional character, but YOU get a reality check and do what/learn from #86. Be a man...like Edward :-)

And P.S. if you obsess over porn magazings and all those amazing girls, just know that they're pretty unrealistic too.

the really sad thing is I told my GF about this FML - and now she is reading that fucking book

DONT BLAME HER TBH EDWARD IS FUCKING AMAZING

!

Ah I'm sorry, but this is too funny. Your girlfriend is HILARIOUS that she seriously thinks she's going to marry someone like a fictional character.

ja... but anyway how doesn't want someone like edward? he's absurlty perfect

# 86 - FTW!

My ex-girlfreind did that to me as well. It wasnt the main reason we broke up, but still, If anyone has the insensitivity to dump you because of a fictional character, they obviously have no idea what true love really is. C'mon girls, just be happy with what you have, nobody's perfect.

Sigh, a simple story gone out of hand. Twilight sets the standards too high. But the funniest part is that that they won't find anyone, and hopefully come back to you. Then...

Oh my god. Unless you want to resort to pedophilia and throwing glitter on yourself, don't feel so bad. Edward is more of an insecure fairy than a heroic vampire. You did nothing wrong, she's just insane. You know what, whoever you are, I'll date you, and we'll see what your girlfriend thinks when your fantasies actually come to life and she's stuck with a flipping book that doesn't even make sense.

Hooray for hack "authors" distorting concepts of romance for a generation of impressionable 14-year-old girls!

Not gonna lie, I fell in love with Edward Cullen while reading the Twilight series, and at times wished I was in Bella's shoes. Though, I do agree your girlfriend is crazy for breaking up with you because you are not like Edward. But I see where she is coming from.

Maybe you should consider some of the actions Edward takes in the novels. For example, being protective, which in return, makes most girls feel like you would do absolutely anything for them. On that note, do absolutely anything for her, I know it's hard, but if she's worth it, give her the world and make sure she's the center of attention or openly express your true feelings for her, often. Be gentle and passionate with every touch. I know those are a few things that made me fall in love with Edward.

Unfortunately, the average joe is too afraid to show a girl this because it ruins their 'macho man' rep. that all men seem to need to fit in society without being made fun of by other 'macho man' guys.
(Comment 199 is a perfect example. haha)

Shoot I meant comment #191 is a perfect example.

Comment 143 describes how I feel completely.

okay she doesnt want edward shew ants someone like him. I mean i agree with the whole abusive stalker thing, but in the books he was also a gentleman and very caring at the same time so i guess its whats shes into more...being afraid shitless while around her boyfriend cause he might snap at any moment or a caring gentleman.

This comment has been moderated.

edward is a creeper

dont hate on edward guys, he didnt do anything wrong.

I like Edward.
Edward Scissorhands that is.

OMG i can't stop laughing!! funniest FML ever!

here's the thing. edward cullen is real, and is a beautiful person.
you need to be more like him.

that happened to me 2..


it took me a week to realize she did me a favor and now i giggle about it.

so i would have to agree with most of these ppl and say she is a stupid bitch for leaving you for EDWARD CULLEN(fictional character)......but i do have to say if i were a fictional character i would want him!!

Edward Cullen is the hottest guy is history. It has nothing to do with sucking blood or being a stalker. He makes Bella the center of his universe and is protective, loving, and honest about his feelings for her. He is truly the perfect boyfriend. So all you Edward haters, go see the movie a few more times and maybe you will be open enough to see what all the WOMEN are drooling over. Come on guys, a little jealous that you are incapable of true devotion. So....bite me!

DUDE. My gf read and watched Twilight too. Even though she didn't break it off with me, she's used it against me in SO many fights. I FEEL FOR YOU, BRO.

dude, #14 needs to grow up and respect other peoples opinions.

um wow some of u guys are really insulting to twilight fans...not all fans are insane please and thank you. so keep it to yourselves assholes... be a little considerate

and for your ex so sorry dude she's insane even i would never do that, coming from a true twilight fan

damn i wish i could find an Edward..

Well, she's mental. Turning you down for someone that doesn't exist. She's more likly to get struck by lightning. You are way better off without her if she's that shallow.

Twitards. xp I will be so incredibly glad when this fad finally dies down and the 'tards finally grow up and get a life (most will, at least).

It totally sucks you were dumped and I'm sorry you have to deal with that amount of total fail.

Guys, if your gf is giving you grief because you're not Edward Cullen incarnate and acts like it's your fault you aren't, if she won't shut up and lay off, you're seriously better off without her. It's the same as if she were telling you to be more like another guy you go to school with. Don't put up with that kind of disrespect and stress. You all deserve better than that garbage, so go find someone who isn't going to constantly tell you how and why (she thinks) you're not good enough.

Chicks, Edward Cullen does not exist IRL. Males like him do not, at all, in any form, exist IRL. Your boyfriends will never be like Eddykins so if you've given him a hard time because he falls short of some fictional ideal, stop. If your bf isn't good enough for you, why are you with him? How would you feel if your bf were giving you a hard time about not being like some idealized female they were all nuts about? Real guys are going to drive you nuts at times and make mistakes and they definitely can't read your mind so don't expect them to. They don't pick up well on the kind of subtle hints and clues girls like to drop, either, so if there's something you want him to know, tell him and be direct. Guys do not do subtle so don't get upset if you try to be coy and drop hints and he totally misses it.

A guy who truly loves you will not try to control your life, who you see, where you go, when you go there, who you go there with...your whole life, basically. I've dated guys like that and I've known chicks who've dated guys like that, and those kinds of guys have no qualms about hitting, slapping, pushing, dragging, shoving, and/or kicking you. They'll pull your hair and they'll pull you around by your hair, as well as any other part of your body they can get a grip on. They'll blame you for the fact they attacked you and they'll swear if they didn't love you so much they never would have done it and they're sorry and they swear it'll never happen again--until the next time their 'love' drives them to hurt you. He'll isolate you from your family and friends, chip away at your self-esteem, do what he needs to until you believe you're lucky to have him and he's your entire life.

It's easy to dismiss all this when you're reading a post by someone you don't know because the abuse is abstract and not real to you and that kind of thing wouldn't ever happen to you, anyway. I'm not in your situation so who am I to say who does and does not love you? If you think I don't know what I'm talking about, abused women will back every bit of it up, so before you end up lying about walking into doors and falling down the stairs and buying lots of concealer to hide the bruises contact a woman's shelter or domestic abuse hotline and talk to someone there. Meet a woman who's been in an abusive, controlling relationship and let her explain why what Stephenie Meyer calls love is anything but.

Psycho bitch is psycho.
She needs to be smacked into reality.

Ok Joyous, even YOUR description of Edward is creepy. You describe Bella as being the center of Edward's universe and this is supposed to make him appealing?? I'm sorry, but I read the books and thought they were a fun, easy read, but I gotta tell you, if any guy made me the CENTER of his universe I'd really be concerned about him. The only things outside of worshipping Bella this guy seems to like are baseball and being superhuman. Who wants a guy like that? Real guys are, well, HUMAN, and they have interests and hobbies and imperfections that make them even that much more loveable (sometimes :P ). True love isn't when one person is literally obsessed with the other person, its when being in love with them makes both of you better and stronger people. It's books and movies like these that make girls believe they have to wait for a guy to come along with NO imperfections, and at the first sign of the relationship getting hard, they duck out, thinking it "wasn't meant to be".

The "Twilight" series was fun to read, but please, don't move to Forks in your minds, ladies.

dude ive been in this exact same situation twice the second i wasnt dating but i tried only to hear "i want someone more like edward" thus for now on i try to mimic this stupid vampire to get to be the guy for girls...EPIC FML

its your fault your not like edward hes the best if alll guys were like him the world would be a better place heres some advice GO READ THE TWILIGHT SERIES AND ACT LIKE EDWARD DOES!!1111

I wanted the exact same thing of my boyfriend after reading twilight (though I never dumped him) I LOVE Edward and Twilight and I think deep down every girl wants a guy kind of like him. But dumping your bf because hes not like a fictional character is lame. Very lame. Youre better off without her :)

#85 how many books have you read in your life? It can't have been many.
You want a real novel? Try Johnny Got His Gun, The Perks of Being a Wall Flour, The Sound and the Fury, Grapes of Wrath, or just about anything written with SOME kind foresight and substance.

The Twilight Saga (which, oh by the way, I DID read) is a mockery of modern literature.
It's clear by the fourth book that the author is impotent in the literary sense; she fails to climax.
In other words: issues created in the rising conflict where not satisfactorily dealt with during the main action in the plot sequence or at any point thereafter. The fact that there was excessive set up that had little purpose and had nothing to do with the actual resolution of the book is pathetic and shows that the author has no idea how to write effectively.

(Twilight/Harry Potter SPOILER)
The "battle" scene in the fourth book of Twilight was a pathetic attempt to imitate the culmination of the Harry Potter Saga (Harry Potter happens to be an incredibly well thought out series AND has some value, though it may be buried in fantasy). The resolution in the fourth Twilight book was a HUGE COP OUT. Half that book was meaningless filler.

#85 and #86 have it right! Edward is AMAZING! and every boy (especially the ones on this FML) should try to be as loving, sexy, and charming as he is. Don't fight it boys, just learn how edward is and replicate it. (or at least try) and every girl should hold out for someone as great as edward, or at least someone that will love them the way he loves bella. but dumping someone for a fictional character is lame! and something most people wouldn't do..which tells me there is probably something else she wasn't happy with that you just don't want to repeat.

you realize that book is fake..and this is fake cause no girl is that stupid

The romance of Twilight is the product of a sexually deprived woman who has been repressed by religious conservatism. I think the reason Edward is so overbearing and manipulative is because that's only kind of man Stephanie Meyer has ever known. She probably thinks it's normal and acceptable for men to be so emotionally abusive and controlling and has NO IDEA that REAL MEN exhist, that actually give a damn about women as people and not something to be controlled.

Hopefully, you are one of thoes real men.
But she is NOT a real woman.

#230 do you NOT understand that you just contradicted yourself?
If you say, "every girl should hold out for someone as great as edward,"
then basically you are saying she was right to break up with this guy because
he ISN'T like Edward.

hey # 233..suck it (vapire..get it??)

edward rocks!

Good for her.

you are all jealous.... cause you will never compare to edward cullen, and i completely agree with the girl. if i had a boyfriend while i read twilight, id dump him too

and number 232, your lame, stop trying to sound smart, shut up

I'd like to agree with #10 and others who think Edward is hott but this girl is obessed with it honestly her breaking up with u is probably the best thing FOR YOU

i told my boyfriend the same thing.

we didn't break up though. i just told him to be more like edward.

#229, you're awesome. I mean, sure I don't read great novels full of literary value, my favorite author is Chuck Palahniuk. He has very little literary value, but even Choke wasn't nearly as misogynistic as any of these four books are. These books are raising a generation of women to want to be in abusive, manipulating relationships. Go Stephanie Meyer for fucking guys over by making women into idiots and fucking girls over by making them want to be in shitty relationships. Also she fucked up vampires' complete mythology, werewolves mythology (that shit pissed me off when I found out what she did to werewolves), the whole fantasy genre of novels due to the fact that there will be even shittier (if possible) rip offs of it. Hell she fucked the most shit out of everyone, I'm starting to think that was her goal to begin with.

Wow... I knew educational standards had slipped off the cliff edge and plummetted to their doom, and the vacuous cult of celebrity culture had generally rotted a few brains... but a young woman unable to differentiate between a real, living breathing human being in front of her and a fictional mythological character from a book??? Now I really have heard every darn thing!! Look on it this way, you've had a very lucky escape.

wow. what a dumb ho. i assure you, though, this will turn out for the better.

f*** Twilight

Haha, I'll admit, I enjoyed the books. But really, they're fictional characters. People who compare them to actual people are ridiculous. And there are far better characters out there. You got the better deal, believe me.

hahaha edward <333 but thats ridiculous.

I completely agree with 216 & 204; she is probably looking for someone who acts more like the loving & caring side of Edward. It is almost impossible to read those books & not fall in love with Edward - and worse, the film has made it seem almost real. I completely understand this Twilight obsession as I am also a teeny bit obssessed but I know he doesn't exist & I should think she does to. I bet all she is looking for is an amazingly romantic, passionate, caring guy who will make looking after her one of his priorities.

Although, if she does think he is real - you were very lucky!

Yeah dude, my girlfriend reads those damn books too. I remember one time she started talking about them for like two seconds on the phone. My connection dropped right then for some really odd reason. Once, we were sitting on the couch watching television when she brought up wanting to see the movie. So we go. About fifteen minutes into the movie I just put my hand down her pants and we ended up leaving, by her choice. That's the rule boys and girls, just start getting sexual with girls when they start that dumb Twilight shit. It's like porn to them or something, gets them in the mood.

It sucks too, cause ever since I was about 13 I thought Edward would be a rad name for a kid. Cause of Eddie Munster, not some dumbass vampire idiot. Well, looks like my first son's name will be Toivo. :/

twilight is nicee. but not real. i moved on..

Dye your hair redbrown, throw on some glitter, and become a controlling, stalker asshole. Hey, she said that's what she wanted!

lmfao @ 7

hahaha.
i was obess but not that much.
dang.
that stinks.
i'm sorry.
her loss.
edward is not real but if he was that would be cool,, but he's not.

Holy shit. Twilight is complete and utter nonsense.

I don't think there is anything unrealistic or fictional to want a guy who is passionate and dedicated to you. Maybe this guy was an obnoxious dick who thinks anniversaries are overrated and oral is for pussies (no pun!). Gosh everybody calm down. She said she wanted him to be MORE LIKE Edward not to BE this goddamn sexy, ideal vampire. That's just silly.

Maybe she just wants to find a man that will Love her the way Edward Loves Bella in the books.

Oh man.. that is messed up. I pity you.. Twilight isn't even interesting after the first book, haha. And truthfully Edward.....wether if you are real or not...you suck :)!!

I agree with # 225, But she shouldn't have explained a better reason for her to dump you, like. really.

i saw the movie with my ex we broke up recently she said i was better then him that was good but why the hell would vampires evolveto glitter in the sunlight
All of a sudden gay vampires pop into mind.

Okay, I think I am the BIGGEST Twilight fan out there, and I agree with everyone on here who says that Edward is the absolute PERFECT guy. But that's just it, he's too perfect. He's too good to be true, which is why he is not real. Your girlfriend is horrible to break up with you because you are not perfect. Nobody can be, including her. I am so sorry this happened to you.

I said, once in my life, that I found a video game girl pretty. It was a joke more than anything else.

Everyone who heard looked at me like I was some sort of freak. I'm sure everyone thought "What a perverted lonely freak who finds pixels sexually attractive".


And since Twilight came out, MORE THAN HALF the girls I know are completely lost in fanstasy about their "beloved edward". How come those girls don't get the same punishment as I did?
And how idiotic can be BREAKING UP WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND BECAUSE OF THAT?!

If I say a find a fictional girl pretty, and get rejected for the rest of my life because of it... then what should we logically do with girls who DUMP their boyfriends for FICTIONNAL VAMPIRES?!

I pity everyone who wrote here that edward is awesome. Even more if they actually believe a girl is right to dump her boyfriend for "edward".
Go ahead and adore a fictionnal character ; there's nothing wrong to it.
Don't go around rejecting people because they aren't as "awesome" as a fictionnal character ; there's everything wrong to it.

I can't wait to see, on this website, a post like this :
"Today, I tried getting back with my ex, because I broke up with him since he isn't like my edward. He told me he's looking for someone more like... a being with a heart. FML"

Edward would probably think that your ex is ugly as shit lol

Well, she's stupid.
Haha at #7.

Wow. It's sad how girls are so obsessed with a fictional character. And how could he deserve this? Whoever voted that should probably die, along with the psychos who keep ranting about how awesome edward is. O and for those who agree with me, you'll get a laugh out of this. http://www.cracked.com/article_16878_if-twilight-was-10-times-shorter-100-times-more-honest.html

#260 is completely right btw. and #66 is my hero xD

Twilight= dumbest book ever. Good, your away from her. Every girl at our school read that book and all saw it together

fuckin hilarious

GOOD,, damn bitch wants an Edward, you don't need her. :D
Twilight is the most boring thing ever, she's physco if she broke up with you because she wants an Edward.

sad thing
i know tons of girls like these

fuck edward cullen.
he's an asshole.
dude, for real. you are better off without that bitch.




i used to be a fangirl of twilight.
(but i was team jacob.)
and now i have no idea what the hell i was thinking.

dude... I like twilight... But at least i can differenciate between FICTION and FREAKIN' REAL LIFE...
get out while you can bro... she is an idiot....

You're better off without her. Anyone lusting after a FICTIONAL CHARACTER has to be mental. I'll bet anything that 95% of the people that clicked "you deserved that one" are twitards who are in love with Eddy McSparklepants themselves. It's absolutely pathetic. You're better off without her, it's her loss.

"When I was reading them I didn't know how to read it from a teenage girl- or really any kind of woman's perspective, I guess. I don't know why they like it. What I thought was weird about it was when I read it, it seemed like... I was convinced that Stephenie was convinced that she was Bella and that it was like a book that wasn't supposed to be published. And you're reading, like, her sort of sexual fantasy about some... especially when she says it was based on a dream and it's like 'Oh, I've met this--I've this dream about this sexy guy!' and she just writes this book about it. And some things about Edward are so specific, I was just convinced... like 'This woman is mad. She's completely mad and she's in love with her own fictional creation...' And sometimes you feel uncomfortable reading this... And I think a lot of people feel that in the same way it's kind of voyeuristic and it creates this kind of sick pleasure." -Robert Pattinson

Pwned, twitards. twilight is just glorified fanfiction anyway. It doesn't even deserve having its name capitalized.

LOL, absolute hilarity. You can't make this stuff up.

Twilight's characters? Mary Sue.

Don't believe me? Look up Mary Sue on wikipedia.

Sadly enough this isn't the first time I've heard this..

that is the best thing i've ever heard. your (ex) girlfriend knows whats up.

i agree
i love edward.
but for her to say she wants a man like him...is ridiculous..
he's PERFECT.
she did you a favor man:)

Wow, good for you. Saved you the hell and efforts of getting away from her on your own accord later on down the road. This is no FML moment, I assure you.

i hate twilight

Go say to her you are also looking for Bella

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA Dude Are You Serious.
No Offence But, serisously hahaha

fucking crazy women. clearly edward doesn't exist...

Can we start comparing these bitches to Alice and say that none of them are hot or able to predict the future? You all need to be super models and make us men the center of your universe like Edward does for Bella! Sounds pretty crazy when it gets turned back on you, huh?

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH THAT IS EFFIN RIDICULOUS!!!!

these comments make me depressed.

all i want out of life is to have true love and im sure thats what all the other avid twilight fans want too. but the way you guys talk make it seem like true love cant possibly exist in real life.

we're not stupid enough to actually want edward, a too-perfect fictional vampire, but is it wrong for us to wait for a guy that will make us truly happy in life? or do we really have to settle for a merely "okay" relationship in order to not end up lonely?

shes right i mean its EDWARD CULLEN!!!


every girls dream guy...so guys wanna get laid?? then act more like EDWARD

I used to be against book-burning. Then they published Twilight.

hats so stupid! its a fictional character made up by a women! what is she a lesbo!?

rofl @ #286. I was the same way.

To all the twilight fan girls out there, stfu. I really hope you know how stupid you sound. You're basically just glorifying some psychotic vampire, making him your substitute jesus (not that you're christian, but to the point that he is your new god). Fine, if you're all starting an edward cult, I say all males start a megan fox cult. HA, SUCK ON THAT. All males will break up with their unattractive girlfriends cause they aren't perfect anymore, because that's completely possible for human beings anyway. Stupid, just plain stupid. I hope none of you find your "edward" so you never reproduce and spread your vile stupidity genes throughout the ages. Darwin, fuck yea!

This is the reason why "Twilighters" get on my nerves.
It's all BS fiction, and half of these comments say
"OMG!!! Edward Cullen is PERFECT!"
I'm terribly sorry, man. Be glad you're not a vampire.

Wow. She was an idiot. Aren't you glad you got rid of her?

i love daphne

in her defense, what she probably meant but failed to word properly is that she's in love with the IDEA of edward. she loves that he's this witty, intelligent, sensitive, careful, indestructable protector, and that she just isn't getting that from you. obviously it's not reasonable to expect you to be able to compete with a fictional mythical creature, but it does make sense that she just realized that THOSE are the qualities she wants from a boyfriend, and that she's not happy without them.

even still-- i'm with #7 on this.

*dies laughing*

*puts up another tally for overly obsessed Twilight fans, along with the girl who hooked up with a guy and got pregnant just because his name was Edward*

Girls have had to deal with over exaggerated Playboy Models, and guys day dream about them (how do

you think we feel being compared to that?) and now guys have to deal with being compared "Edward".

Fake boobs vs Fake Person...I'd say we're even now.


p.s. Ur x-gf needs a reality check. That's lame of her to say and do that.

dude, every girl that has read Twilight that i know compares guys to Edward Cullen but I'm sorry!

Oh my god. It's normal to have the occasional crush on a fictional character, as it relates to crushing on a famous actor or whatnot...but actually dumping someone because they don't adhere to the standards of a FICTIONAL character? That's just crazy talk.

Listen, all you Twitards who want a guy as amazing and fabulous as your Edward: HE DOES NOT EXIST. You need to completely recheck your standards if you think that's the ideal man. I personally would not want someone that could lash out and beat me at any second (and tells me so), that makes me the complete center of the universe to the point that he is obsessed with me, that would break into my house and watch me sleep. Being in a real relationship is much, MUCH different than the relationship that Bella and Edward have. Save out for your perfect Edward clone, please. You'll be doing us a service by eliminating yourself from the gene pool.

I hate Twilight so much. Then again, it makes me that much more attractive to guys when I say that I hate the series with a passion. Go me.

hahahaha wow. I didn't think there were actually girls out there who did that.
But seriously, it's your gain.

Just put on some body glitter, she'll take you back.

Honestly though, did you need such a crazy girlfriend?

LMAO! All you should've done was spray out some glitter on your face and act gay!

What the hell?? I mean honestly, you cant take a fictional character THAT seriously! Its just nuts! You're better off without her!

I don't think that she necessarily wants the fictional character... In girl language, she was trying to tell you that she wants you to show her you love her by little things like little quotes or notes, etc. Every girl wants to feel like she's loved... Not an actual vampire. Get over it.

@227 and all your ilk - wow, okay. You're right. You're totally right. Every guy should be more like Edward.

I mean, the nerve of this guy, right? Not sneaking into his girlfriend's house to watch her sleep? Not shadowing her every second of every day, messing with her head by telling her that she should stay away with him whilst he's following her everywhere? I mean, I bet he doesn't even disable her car every time she goes to see somebody he doesn't like. No wonder she couldn't be with him anymore. I know every time I want a girl to know I like her I break into her house every night to check that she's alright, and that she's dreaming of me. Because girls can't take care of themselves, and this way she can really be sure that she's on my mind every. single. second. You know?

Edward Cullen's abusive, psychopathic tendencies aside, though...Look - I understand the desire for a perfect romance. To those people saying that what she wants is someone more considerate, loving, caring, protective, gentlemanly, though, I say - no. If that had been what became a deal-breaker for her then she should've been able to tell him exactly what was up. Hiding behind a fictional character because you don't want to make your own needs clear is pathetic and unfair on the guy who is not telepathic and has no idea what went wrong. It'd be equally sad if she'd held up a copy of Pride and Prejudice and said she was off in search of her Darcy.

And for the record, I'm a girl.

#17 (at the top) i love you! and agree, twilight fans are just stupid. you're better off without her.

That's absolutly ridiculous of her.
You're better off.

#156 No, it's not his fault. You would be seriously surprised to know how many people are "in love" with Edward. People who don't even realize there is MUCH better people than the personality a fictional character is given.

I'm sorry that happened to you. I like the books, but when I read them I think of all the girls that are in love with Edward and laugh, because he's a loser compared to my boyfriend. You'll find a much better girl, one who realizes that to be in love with a fictional character is to be in love with the creator of said fictional character, since the character doesn't exist, and the creator is the mind who came up with such a "person".

#78 It's comments like that that are the reason some never find love. Because you ACTUALLY believe there is NO ONE else in the world who is better than a fictional character. Guess what? There is. My boyfriend is 5000000000000000000000 times better than ANY fictional character. Furthermore, apparently you need to pay more attention to detail, because Edward and Bella fought MANY times, and whether you'll admit it or not, he had an anger problem, and was quite controlling.

#7 - Thanks, you made me choke on water.
#35 - You're right, the pages tend to stick together and it just ruins the whole reading experience.
OP - Your grammar seems to be relatively proper. Which means that I assume you aren't twelve. Why are you dating a twelve year old. If she wasn't twelve, then why were you dating a mentally challenged girl. You know they can't help themselves.

AAHAHAHAHAH thats amazing i think Eff her life is much better you are lucky to have witness such a hilarious moment in the history of stupid people addict to fake worlds made props to you congrates and celebrate your victory

Lmao i love your ex. i would of said the same thing!!!!

Dude I LOVE Edward. Just sayin. lol.

But that IS the stupidest break up reason I've ever heard. She's a dumbass.

Ah... Man.. That sucks..
But I wonder.. Is it weirder that she dumped you for not being a fictional character?...
Or that many other guys have been dumped for the same excuse? o___O Does anyone else think that's strange?!

She'll most likely be alone for a long period of time if she's looking for an 'Edward Cullen'...

Sadly I can relate...

OMG EDWARD IS MINE!!!.....not. What's the hype with this Twilight crap anyway?? Don't people have better things to read? lol You're better off without someone like...that.

dude your lucky she left, if she is that obsessed with a fictional character then she will wake up one day completely fucked over by life. trust me girls that think they should get whatever they want are just stupid and not worth your time. it sucks, but you'll find someone better that isn't obsessed with a dumb book.

Oh my gosh like everyone is OBSESSED with Twilight
I'm probably one of the few teenage girls you'll meet who hates that book :(
And she's and idiot!

Shoryuken that bitch and tell her she's not enough like Chun Li. That girl has got some LEGS.

I totally am in love with twilight the twilight books and i to completly love Edward. I have met so many girls that agree with me and her that all men should be like Edward. I would never dump my boyfriend over that because he is a fictional character, but i understand where she is coming from. Edward is amazing

p.s. Edward is every girls dream guy, he loves her with his LIFE he would die for her do anything for her, and takes care of her, they are the ultimate couple, but thats just it, hes a dream, we can all have our dreams but in the end we have to come back to the real deal, which is reality. I love my bf and would never dump him for a fictional character(who is dynamic and amazing) but i can dream about him all I want as lone as i don't bring it into real life.

I love that book and Edward-he's the perfect guy. I'd never do this...I agree with everything Kbye8916 said

He's a stupid fictional charecter no one gives a shit about, apart from sad people who believe in vampires and childish love storys


thers probably many people who are in the same position as you mate

#318 & 319... you guys need to get a life. :[

Ooh, man I hate those damn Twilight fans. They're brainless, psychos and you should be dancing with joy from not having to deal with her anymore.

wow
i like those books
but at least i know that it is fiction
that girl is crazy

wait a minute... vampires aren't real?

you are all missing the point which of course would happen because none of you read the book. she doesnt want a literal vampire, she wants deep passionate love. something she was obviously lacking in your relationship. she wants the kind of love she sees in the book- someone who would die without her, would do anything to protect her and someone for whom she could do the same. i dont think she is crazy, i think she knows what she wants and you buddy did not deliver.

now on a different note, it is a fantasy and in fantasy books we create fantasy love which is why most relationships have so many problems. true love exists, deep connections exist but you actually have to work at them! and they dont come without the occasional arguement.

It's probably a good thing she dumped you now, she sounds a little off...

i wouldnt dump my boyfriend because of edward but i would fantasy about him while........

i love twilight and edward cullen. he is an awesome
fictional character, but thats all he is. A FICTIONAL
CHARACTER! if she doesnt realize that he isnt real
then she needs some help. sorry your ex was an
idiot. there is no edward cullen in the real world!

Well... If she likes abusive guys that want to eat their girlfriends...

If only there actually was a man like Edward. I really don't think it's possible though.

It's ok, you'll find someone else.

Honestly, that is fucked up.
But I think you all have to understand (the ones who don't read twilight) that Edward had such a passionate love towards Bella. Yes, he was creepy in a lot of ways, but you would have to read, and enjoy the book to understand.
But yeah the fact that she dumped you for a fictional character... your lucky you don't have her anymore.

I can't blame her... Edward is irrisistable. <3 She wanted you to love her unconditionally, hold the door open for her, think of her before yourself. You know do what guys should do.

i agree w #325. it's not the literal teenaged-vampire that she wants-- it's the type of lover that he embodies and the passion that the two main characters have for each other that she wants, and she was not experiencing that with you.

now, it IS true that she sucks for not being able to communicate on a more mature leverl, as opposed to that of a 12 year old girl.

if she wants Edward, there's no hope, edward is way too amazing!

#66, best thing ive ever read!

HAHAH NO SHIT! EVERY GIRL LOVES EDWARD CULLEN!!

Holy shit.
That's bad. Edward is a twat.
>_> She must be into cold hearted bastards...

You're so, so, so lucky dude. Believe me, you won't be sorry about this turn of events in the long run.

LMFAO #7

You are better off alone than with a person who believes fictional characters are real...

I am a complete EDWARD fan and i love him too but wat she did was retarded.
i mean he aint real and guys just are not that great

no offense, but i think we can ALL agree she doesnt really want edward she just doesnt want you..sorry, but i just call 'em like i see 'em.. like really, that hasta be the WORST break up excuse EVER..she might as well have just said "we need to take a break" or "its not you its me.."

PS .. sounds to me like number 5 might be his girlfriend haha

i love twilight just as much as the next girl but really..he sucks if you think about it..you cant f*ck him and you hafta worry about him eating yo

I actually LOL-ed at this. x]
I LOVE Twilight, but I think you should be glad that you got rid of her.
..the part where she wanted you to be like a fictional character explains everything.

Lmao #227. If you only want Edward, then good luck on getting a bf. Seriously, it's not even the guys' fault that they're not like Edward. Excuse them for trying to be themselves rather than a fictional character WHO DOESN'T EVEN EXIST. This Twilight fan craze is getting incredibly stupid. Noname, be glad that she's not with you anymore. You don't need a psycho like that in your life.

Yes, I read Twilight. Yes, I liked it. However, Edward gives me the creeps. It's like stalking is in now, because of him. Personally, if I guy told me he had been watching me sleep for 3 months, I would call the cops and get a restraining order. Damn, I hate fangirls...the reason I stopped liking Twilight.

Your girl is a crazy bitch and you're better off without her.

(Plus, everyone knows that the hot doctor is the real best choice here. Carlisle FTW.)

#227, WHAT THE FUCK?
if you want everyone to act lke edward twatface then go find another planet

heres some advice you dull cunt, dont read the twilight series then your expectations wouldnt be so high

now grow up and see sense

rant over :)

I think this is stupid! I like the books but really he's a fictional character!

It's fine to enjoy the books and crush on Edward, but anyone who takes the Twilight series as serious literature and dumps their boyfriends because they aren't vampires is riddiculous. Sure the books are fun and a good way to kill a couple hours, but Meyer can't write worth a shit. Edward is attractive, sort of, but girls who expect their boyfriends to be abosolutely flawless (like Edward) need to wake up and smell the coffee. No guy is like him, and we shouldn't expect them to be.
To the original poster, I agree with everyone saying it truely is her loss. You're better off without someone who expects their life to imitate a fantasy book. You will meet a girl who loves you for you, imperfections included.

that is extremely ridiculous!
poor guy :(

What a dumbass. Anyone who dumps their boyfriend because they aren't like some gay ass vampire that "sparkles in the sun" from a book by a writer that even Stephen King bashes should just live under a rock. You're way better off without her.

Look here man.
Edward Cullen is a faggot. And that estrogen filled edifice you called a girlfriend is really freaking stupid.
If you were sexually pleasing her in some shape or form, her "Edward" will have none of that for her.
And let's face it, women love their sex.
Take that away from them, and you get the spoiled brat known as "Bella" in that reatrded circus world of a book series people call "Twilight".

WTF, how old is she? Fourteen?

haha hell yes #346! carlisle can watch me sleep anyyy day

lol i like edward and the books annd everything but thats just crazy haha

I refuse to read the Twilight series just because everyone is all loveydovey love should be like the movies because of it and I refuse to loose my understanding of how the world really is.

and dont think that i dont know what love is or assume ive never been in love because trust me i do. this is my seventh month in a relationship and i dont need a blood sucking vampire to ruin that lol

Hahha she made your job easyy. Tell her to go hook up with Harry Potter while shes at it.

that girls a flipping weirdo then..
its good she broke up with you
but i got to say thats funny

i admit i love edward too.
but i wouldnt break up with someone for that reason.
thats just complete crap.

you'll find better im sure u deserve better as well.

HAHAHAH. This happens to so many people.

Yes, #66. That is exactly what he should do.

lmfao! don't get me wrong I've read the books and I gotta admit I love Edward too. but COME ON! Really?

honestly dude, you've heard this time and time again. But i'm goin to say it one more time "you deserve better."

And to all my ladies out there who love Edward. Remember he's NOT REAL,and if you keep living in a fantasy world and comparing the dudes that you meet to him, you will sink slowly into a deep depression when reality slaps you in the face.Everyone needs to stop living in fantasy worlds and dreaming of the perfect someone because perfection doesn't.Thats only the way we see someone when we're in love and you come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.But if you're stuck in LaLa land &shut people you can't do that.

Now hopefuly that made some sense. i don't know. but whatever because this FML didn't sense.People don't make sense, life in general doesn't make sense. What has this world come to. I dont even effin know. Madness! Lmao=P

edward is amazing.
obv. you suck.



get over it.(:

It's an unfortunate trend in our current tween-to-twenty-five society. Edward, first and foremost, is probably a handsome man. As a man I can usually understand what girls find attractive in a male, not the case in this situation but there must be some aesthetic draw to him if so many women find him attractive. Second, I dated a girl briefly who was obsessed with him, finding appeal in those looks he gave the girl when he was fighting temptation to bite her. I described these looks as creepy, she said they were hot. I'm fairly certain if any of us looked at our girlfriends that way, they'd be creeped out. And that includes guys that are somewhat attractive, not just some average joe lusting after Ms. Sizero-Bigtitbooty. Of course the hype that was built up for the movie before it was ever released, primarily on MTV shows just exactly what poor judgment the young females in this country have. They simply agreed with the channel that brough them such gems as The Hills and Laguna Beach (if you didn't catch the sarcasm in this last sentence it's likely I'm making fun of you). Of course the guys that these girls go for are just as poor, simply following trends appealing to what the dull masses of easy, loose women are attracted to. Oh! How easy it is to get laid in this country if you're willing to sell your morality to the Devil for one night at a Pink Taco stand. You sir, are the victim of declining intellect in this nation, and if we males are to be condescended to by women for watching porn and playing video games then perhaps we should do the same in return when these feeble-minded harlets cream over vampires from poorly written novels that were unfortuantely turned into more poorly written movies. I don't care how attractive any movie star is, have some integrity ladies. Dumping someone who has taken time out of his day and his life that he could have used to be a lot more productive, just because he doesn't live up not to a reality, but to a fictitious vampire is completely and sickeningly ludicrous.

happened to me too basically too lol.

I HATE THAT BOOK

So I had an ex-boyfriend who was over-protective and tried to beat me up and would have very likely taken apart my car to keep me from friends. I very nearly got a restraining order. He was my Edward.
F*ck that sh*t. Twilight blows.

first of all...
#66.... youre an asswhole.

if that chick is stupid enough to dump you for a fictional character, then its her loss... theres no one out there that can live up to edward cullen... BECAUSE HE ISNT REAL!
sure... i love twilight just as much as the next girl... but at least I know reality from fiction...

#66, I laughed SO hard.

I find it amusing as hell that a girl, whom, if I'm correct in assuming, is probably still in highschool if she's so obsessed with the 'amazeeng buks' that Twilight is, would dump a real person on the pretense of she'd rather have someone written in a book.

I'm sure any artist or poetry writer or story writer (or fanfiction which I bet she did somehow), has written or drawn up their perfect somebody.

Hope she enjoys cuddling that book at night when she hits 30 and realizes she's a fckin' moron.

Edward is every girl's fantasy because he acts as if Bella is the only thing that is keeping him alive, and girls really crave for that kind of attention, they like to feel desired like that. Of course that does not exist in real life, because what normal guy would want to be so enslaved?

ahahah. owned.

i just came in here to say HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA

this is terrible

HAH. i love edward cullen so much.
but this is rediculous!
YOUR GIRLFRIENDS A PHYSCO!

hahahahahahahahahahaha
i am sorry, but this is one the funniest fml i've read!!!!
i told all my friends about this and they burst out laughing, except for this one guy who actually WAS into.. edward... but that's a different story.
hey! she actuallly did YOU a favor!

y'all could be more alike than you think, so check it

If your just a squirel tying to get a nut
then . . .
she's just a slu(radio edit) trying to get a neck sucked.

Tattoo shops sell fang kits, get to work on that neck.

WOW. this is just fricken ridiculous.
if it helps, she's going to be alone forever, cause no one will meet her standards.

I say we off all the tweens that are in love with Edward and feed them to the Darfurians. Deal?

sounds like yr now ex is like 10 yrs old. move on.

i've heard girls joke about doing that...but i've never heard of someone who actually did. wow.

Yeah, I finally told my ex I was sick of hearing about Edward. Women are bitches.

Reluctant as i am to say this, i was briefly swept into the whole Twilight craze too and I can say that the idea of Edward was extremely attractive.

But honestly? I went back and read the first book again, and realized how shallow and sketchy and creepy the whole relationship between them was. Something about the books was kind of..trancing. But I grew out of it and realized it was just like bad fanfiction. I'm kind of ashamed to think that I thought it was great literature for a while.

Your ex could just be finding an excuse to break up with you because you really weren't up to standard...BUT I think she's probably just psycho and will probably end up living alone and dying single with a bunch of cats.

HAH!

Heh this one's almost as bad as the FML where some girl got dumped by a guy cause she was "interfering with his World of Warcraft character"...actually, it's worse.
This really is a F*** HER life though, as for you, go by the lyrics of a famous Beatles song..."I get by with a little help from my friends"-The relationships you make with your best buddies and childhood friends can be stronger than a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, hell, even stronger than marriage (albeit very different and probably not sexual).
I digress though, again, it's HER life that's fucked, not yours. You're not the one fantasizing about a fictional character, although as some people said earlier, there might be something more to what she was saying, though I doubt it. Either way, she wasn't mature enough to handle things in a decent way, instead comparing you to this guy "Edward", and you don't want a girl like that, trust me. Just keep a good network of pals close by you and you'll manage, girlfriend or no.

Wow. Sounds like you seriously dodged a bullet with this one. Did she really call a fictional character "HER Edward?" Honestly, I haven't read the book(s), nor do I plan to, but there's something seriously wrong with a person if they expect their real life to be exactly like their favorite book. Feel lucky you didn't have to be the one to try to break up with that psycho.

I have read the books and let me just say that I can see why she might want a man like that. Well, after I was done the books a boy I met in class wrote me a poem and tried to woo me Edward style. It creeped me out.

Edward Cullen is nothing more then a man made up by a housewife. Get over it. All he's good for is a read. Thats it.

OMG. doesn't Edward appears to be the stalkish type? I never read the books, but I actually saw the movie. (well, after 50pages of constant flipping the pages of book one, I was bored. The nonstop about Edward's eyes and lips and etc. ughh) In the movie, the guy stand by her bed, watching her as she sleeps! stalker.
#386, the WoW was sad. One of my friend told me she broke up with her bf because he was obsessed with that game and he chose the game over her.

This comment has been moderated.

Fuck Twilight. Everyone likes it. WHY WHY WHY

You're girlfriend is delusional. Edward is in love with me and only me.

good on you for getting away from her because Edward's a controlling FREAK. If she wants a guy like him, then she can go ahead and get one. You sir deserve better :)

in response to #2, if she wanted a makeup wearing sparkles in the sunlight guy, try the gay bar... but that won't work too well for her either.

fuck her life!

F*ckin a! your girlfriend knows what she's talking about!

look on the bright side... you don't have to hear about the most retarded/cliche book ever written

HAHAHAHA. omg this is my favorite FML ever. I love your girlfriend, girls across america could learn from her.

no just kidding. i love that, but i mean dumping your boyfriend for a fictional character? okaay...

haha, i must say i am a twilight fan. however, not obsessed. anyone dumb enough to actually say that deserves to go live in a book for a few years.
lucky you, got out before she tried biting you. crazies!

On the upside, your girlfriend is a frigging idiot.

what a bitch man!1 i hate that book!1 hahahaah

Seriously, if she was so nuts to think that you should be more like a fictional character than she did you a favour. I would hate to see what else was going through her head.

Seriously, if she was so nuts to think that you should be more like a fictional character than she did you a favour. I would hate to see what else was going through her head.

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

edward

I wonder if that means she went off to go stalk Robert Pattinson, since he plays Edward in the movies. Its the closest shes gonna get to the real thing. I hear he has alot of crazy stalkers....I bet she'll get along with them just great!

wowww you're girlfriend is a fricking psycho...!

Twilight ruins lives.

Top of the page

Comments are deactivated.