Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me I could sleep in. Twenty minutes later, she was banging on the door, yelling, "Get up, fat lazy fuck! It's seven o'clock, we have chores! You expect me to do everything for your worthless ass!" FML
Today, after a long 16 hour shift, I was milliseconds from sleep when my girlfriend said she "wants to talk". I'm now writing this from the couch. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML
Today, after my girlfriend had a nightmare this morning, I stayed home because she has really bad anxiety issues. A couple of hours later, she's pissed because I said I would stay up, but I fell asleep. FML
Today, sleeping in a little late, I was woken up by my phone. Still tired, I quickly checked the display to realize it was my girlfriend calling. I pick up the phone saying, "Hey baby girl!" She seemed pretty startled, so I double-checked and realized it was my new boss, who has the name as my girlfriend. FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, my girlfriend of over a year woke me up at 4:30 in the morning by sticking her hand down my pants. She immediately stopped when I was awake enough to reciprocate and said, "I couldn't sleep. I was bored. Talk to me." FML
Today, I woke up at 5:30 and made the half hour drive to work only to find out that it was my day off. After finally getting back home and into bed, my boss called, requesting that I come back to work since I was "already up". FML
Today, I got to sleep in late for the first time in 3 years, as wife took our two young daughters out of town to visit with her parents. I told my mother that I was really looking forward to being able to sleep in this morning. The phone rang at 7:30. It was my mother asking me how I slept. FML
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Top comments
BimmerDriver 23
Isn't the feeling of knowing you have more time to sleep one of the best feelings ever though?!?
yoloswagg54 9
FYL, falling back asleep is impossible for me :(
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Comments (83)
Ace132 20
She's definitely a keeper :3
yahoowizard 16
Maybe that's when she had to leave for work
doubleddun 9
I am going to take this comment serious and agree. I love waking up and knowing I have more time to sleep. Sometimes I even put an alarm on two hours before I have to get up.
epic13 12
I did nazi that coming.
lilhellian 26
I hate nazi jokes. Anne Frankly they suck.
yoloswagg54 9
I do nazi how this is relevant to the FML.
MrSassypants 33
Indeed they do suck. What? Expected me to say one? I just told you they suck.
epic13 12
Three K's a day keep the minorities away.
yoloswagg54 9
FYL, falling back asleep is impossible for me :(
Jjimen1654 9
Bet she did it on purpose.
IscoreOnU 19
Yeah usually when I wake someone up at 5 am to tell them something it's an accident.
BimmerDriver 23
Isn't the feeling of knowing you have more time to sleep one of the best feelings ever though?!?
MrConcise 34
No. It's dreadful knowing you have to fall back asleep only to wake up once more.
BimmerDriver 23
Ah. I always loved waking up to find out I had a few more hours worth of sleep left.
Zomg_Okay 26
Finding out you have a good while left to sleep in is great. Deliberately being woken up so someone can make that observation to you, on the other hand, is grounds for murder.
cristy91 33
I wish I had that feeling. I end up staring at my roof for the remaining 15 minutes, waiting for that dreadful alarm to beep. It's like I'm being punished for the bad deeds I'll inevitably do later that day.
BimmerDriver 23
I'm like the worst morning person ever so it's quite easy for me to fall back asleep after being woken up early :p
Mossears133 15
I'm gonna look on the brighter side and say she probably woke him up accidentally and tried to cover it up n_n
Pesticides 19
at least you don't get up and unplug your alarm while sleep walking...
RpiesSPIES 27
Yes, 52, or maybe she was going to surprise him with morning sex but choked at the last second.
fboy1588 14
Lol at merry ******* xmas.... Made me laugh
theworldismad 10
I do that all the time, or I'll turn it off in my sleep, I hate when that happens.
iloveandy143 7
38- don't u mean ceiling ?
young_weezy_fml 3
i love waking up and realizing i have more time to sleep
blondie107 20
You're so not alone!! That's happened to me twice this week!
groovycrazyjoe 18
I love waking up and realize it's 5:59 and I have to get up at 6:00. I want all my sleep lol
BronyVasNormandy 12
That'll teach you to forget to turn the alarm off when you leave before her.
Olympiakos10 15
What the **** are you talking about?
katiesam199 11
#8 Maybe try reading and understanding the FML before commenting
theworldismad 10
What did you even read out of that?! Try reading the FML, it might help.
TPH1979 18
#8...I got your sarcasm.
sikunt89_fml 16
FYL... I leave at 5.30am, my fiance leaves at around 7, sometimes I feel like being really noisy before I leave hahaha so I can see where your girlfriend is coming from.
DocBastard 38
Why is that funny? It sounds obnoxious and childish to me. When my wife leaves before I do, she makes it a point to be extra quiet to let me sleep. That's called "respect".
_DudeGuy_ 16
Doc, are you an on-the-call surgeon? If so, when you get called in late at night,do you wake up mrs.bastard to tell her you're leaving?
sikunt89_fml 16
Jeez... I said I feel like it, not that I do it, I'm not 12.
DocBastard 38
Sikunt - Then I'm glad you repress those feelings. Dudeguy - My phone ringing usually does a fine job of waking her up.
Ariet 20
Hahaha, poor guy. But now you know! FYL though :P
Jaculiferous 17
That happens to me all of the time. Hopefully you were able to fall back asleep right after your girlfriend woke you up.
kpc2424 13
I totally thought that would end differently...
JessieKayGreen 13
same here!