Today, after a big argument, my girlfriend looked me dead in the eyes and said, "I can go the rest of my life without sex, you know." FML
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Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML
Today, the love of my life, and long term partner, sat me down and told me that he feels so comfortable in our relationship that he no longer feels the need to have sex with me, and he doesn't think that that will ever change. FML
Today, during an argument, my girlfriend said she wasn't having sex with me anytime soon. She never wants sex in the first place, so her threat fell pretty flat. When I pointed this out, she went absolutely apeshit and started throwing plates at me. FML
Today, my wife and mother of my kids said she doesn't want sex. Or a divorce. FML
Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument. She admitted she didn't know why she was pissed at me, but still is, and now she won't talk to me. FML
Today, my wife lost interest in sex a long time ago. I’ve tried to reignite her interest lately, which culminated in an argument where she gave me permission to go out and shag other women. We might as well divorce at this point if she’s going to say things like that. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I was too tired for sex, which she interpreted as me confessing to not wanting to have sex with her because I’m having sex with other women. FML
Today, after sex, my wife of three months said, "You know, sex isn't as good now that we're married… Maybe we should take a break." I said we should spice things up. She said, firmly, "No, let's stop" and wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the night. FML
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Top comments
That_Ginger 18
Damn, your right arm is going to get HUGE.
jasminetslater 13
I like her. Lol
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Comments (140)
jasminetslater 13
I like her. Lol
Pleonasm 35
Somehow withholding sex and punishing your partner instead working mutually towards a resolution to a problem like adults who actually care about each other, sounds like a bad idea.
ibmike22 13
It's easy for her to say that now. I've been given the same threat. Didn't last very long.
taco_bender 12
I say she's bluffing. Girls need sex just like guys do but I wouldn't push it just in case she's willing to try. Make up sex?
Duh_0811 17
tell my wife that
caver1 14
It's called masturbation
SuckMeBeautifu1 24
@50 after you've had the pink velvet, your hand just doesnt compare.
SuckMeBeautifu1 24
Give it a couple of days OP, then when you're lying on the couch together rub her nipples and she'll forget she ever said it.
SuperStormCindy 8
We don't need it like y'all do, actually. We have vibrators.
Godsofdracos 15
If you want to bring toys into this we have them also. It's still pointless to punish yourself to get back at someone else.
jazzy_123 20
I don't know about you guys, but whenever I say that to my bf it just makes me want it even more.. and I hate losing so I don't say that anymore haha.
lailaxjan 11
Speak for yourself, 61. The real thing is SO much better than a vibrator.
BrotherPhil 35
That depends; I'd rather have a good wank than a bad ****.
sandraw1 22
Sex is actually one of the humans basic fysical needs, just as food, sleep and water
TBfml15 9
*****
That_Ginger 18
Damn, your right arm is going to get HUGE.
RollingCakes 21
Now now, why can't he use both arms for a full workout?
thatnucca 36
A real life Popeye in the making... Add some spinach to your future grocery list OP...
mattrd_fml 31
Maybe OP is a leftie.
sehrgutmann 19
I'm right handed but use my left lol.
Gearden 8
Don't forget leg day.
TallMist 32
#104 Same here. I'm right handed, but it feels too awkward to even try and get off with my right hand. However, with my left, it feels perfect.
foxyhasmybooty 16
Just like our old pal Glenn Quagmire!:) also OP you said 5ml.
Rizzen 27
wow, that sucks that she would withhold sex
thiswhitey 13
hahahaha I think someones going to have a lot of tissues laying around for a while
saocrates 16
Or it could backfire, OP gets tired of it and find a lady who doesn't use sex as a weapon than the tissues won't be needed.....just saying.
SuperStormCindy 8
If OP loves her, he can wait for her.
Drianor 4
well, it's obvious that she loves him, after all, she said "all her life", or am I just missunderstanding it?
Zomg_Okay 26
62 - She's using sex as a weapon. She clearly doesn't love him.
Timmy_Boy 17
*FML Soz for your loss
Pleonasm 35
*5ML. Are you sorry for my loss of braincells reading your comment, too?
Pstraka6 20
Call her on her blog. You can also go on living without a gaff doing something out of spite. That's not how a healthy relationship is made!
Dthsapprntc 23
Hmm, sex used as a weapon against your partner in a relationship. This is never a good idea. OP, you should have just shrugged and said; "meh, you're not very good at it anyway. "
botanistjessica 24
Your second paragraph still involves using sex as a "weapon".
ocramavaf 15
i think that's more psychological and if they were arguing the only way she'd come out on top would be by proving him wrong and having sex with him which would discredit her earlier statement
Pixiecrack 11
Best answer ever...I like the way you think lmfao
vencku 13
Or she could have sex with someone else and let that guy tell her boyfriend how good she was. If she's willing to withold sex from him, you shouldn't assume she'll give it up because he goaded her on. She's probably smart enough to see through this reverse psychology shit and make it backfire.
Dthsapprntc 23
Because having sex with another guy and then have him tell her boyfriend how good she is will absolutely save the relationship...
amyyyf 6
noooo no no she's lying :P
Izabushel 65
Normally I am not one to say you should break up, but you really should look the comments on the previous FML and get some ideas.
kmartFTW 12
Tell her you can go the rest of your life without letting her use your credit card!
fmlxxsb 6
haha credit card can do wonders.