Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML
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Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom, demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a goddamn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML
Today, after nearly two months of no sex, I got cockblocked by an unexpected visit by my mother. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend is cheating on me. With my mother. They were doing it for almost a year. FML
Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML
Today, my boyfriend snuck out of my room so he could have sex with my mom in the next room. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
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Top comments
doubledutchy 15
This is actually quite useful now that you know that OP. Now you can either make your mother go to crazy places, or better yet, have fun having sex in crazy places. Twist the negative side into something you can benefit from!
anonymous_kenie 7
Sounds like its time to start fooling your mother with spoofed text messages
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Comments (126)
kmartFTW 12
Talk about Mommy issues! Sheesh
doubledutchy 15
This is actually quite useful now that you know that OP. Now you can either make your mother go to crazy places, or better yet, have fun having sex in crazy places. Twist the negative side into something you can benefit from!
doubledutchy 15
Absolutely #6, I agree. There are for OP however, ingenious ways of circumnavigating the mother knowing what she does. We don't know what she is like of course
anonymous_kenie 7
Sounds like its time to start fooling your mother with spoofed text messages
illinoiscentral 16
Sounds like it's time to get the ol' communication with your mom going, and I don't mean telling her your hookup timetable in person.
KeeLady 20
It's going to happene eventually anyways! She can't "protect" you forever. My mom used to read my texts too until I found a more secretive way of communicating to someone I liked. You don't pry on her love life, so she should respect yours and if it's such a burden to her, perhaps confronting you would be a more honest approach.
TheMathMajor 26
I honestly don't understand parents that do that. It's a blatant invasion of privacy. Not only is it extremely disrespectful, but it's also sending a message to your kid that you don't trust them at all which is pretty hurtful and destructive if there's no good reason for it.
Saddyohh 13
I've found that if you answer the door naked people won't bother you.
annie_nk 22
I'll keep that in mind the next time Jehovah's Witnesses knock on my door.
SuckMeBeautifu1 24
I find answering the door in my undies and then posing works best for Jehovah's Witnesses, it really 'confuses' the female ones.
Saddyohh 13
But it has to be awkward naked. Like wide stance and polite manner. Definitely shake their hand or make an attempt. You have to act like you aren't naked.
SuckMeBeautifu1 24
Oh yeah and I forgot, after you strike a good pose, immediately slam the door shut. Always leave them wanting more
Food2Abs 13
That's a good idea...
littlem91 29
Considering she has to drop by to ruin it, it sounds like you've moved out, so how and why does she still have access to your texts anyway?
SuckMeBeautifu1 24
I dont think hes moved out, i think his mum just went out but dropped back in at those specific times. Doesnt matter or make a difference anyway, either way its still very creepy and intrusive..
magiczebra 9
No I'm pretty sure OP is on his own. "Drop by" is very common term to visiting someone else's house. As for the texts, if OP has an iPhone and his mom knows his Apple ID info, she can read his texts thorough iMessage.
littlem91 29
Ah, didn't know you could see messages online with apple. Still, should have changed his password, this can't be the first time it's become apparent that mummy is a little bit controlling.
Honema 16
Next time she interrupts just act as if she isn't there
DjeePee 24
I always knew that my dad would spy on my phone, so I changed my boyfriend's name in my contact list to the name of my best female friend. Result: dad angry, because he thought I was a lesbian. Good ol' days. Anyway, password, OP.
SuckMeBeautifu1 24
Your dad harrassed you for being a lesbian? Thats a bit wrong isnt it..
smokecloud_ 37
Unfortunately there are still a lot of homophobes out there. Pretty sad. My family was tickled pink that I didn't turn out to be a lesbian. I was less than thrilled when they congratulated me on being straight.
trsshup 8
...no her dad had problems with her sexuality in general, hetero or homosexual, her dad was being overprotective.
KyokoSakuraChan 15
Oh gosh, people with their homophobia..
TheRoyalBattler 5
Quit using your Mom's phone to text your girlfriend with!
SuckMeBeautifu1 24
You are indeed a battler, my son.
rocker_chick105 31
22- your picture... and your name... I just can't.