Intimacy: Unwanted guest

Unwanted guest

By MMM - 21/01/2014 23:26 - United States - Saco

Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 561

You deserved it 11 457

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Same thing different taste

The all-seeing eye

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 02:49 - United States

Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom, demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a goddamn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 317

You deserved it 5 788

Not now, mother!

By Anonymous - 19/06/2022 04:00 - United States - Sayville

Today, after nearly two months of no sex, I got cockblocked by an unexpected visit by my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 046

You deserved it 197

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 757

By Anonymous - 05/08/2013 05:33 - United States - Romulus

Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 044

You deserved it 9 012

By Anonymous - 19/07/2015 04:36 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 226

You deserved it 5 013

Double betrayal

By iwannagointothewoods - 13/11/2023 23:00 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is cheating on me. With my mother. They were doing it for almost a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 120

By mommydearest - 04/09/2011 16:08 - Denmark

Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 322

You deserved it 4 114

Cougartown

By Anonymous - 28/08/2022 02:00

Today, my boyfriend snuck out of my room so he could have sex with my mom in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 769

You deserved it 175

Cold shower

By MrAwsum - 17/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 499

You deserved it 48 693

In the mood

By Steve - 16/12/2012 06:25 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 782

You deserved it 18 359

doubledutchy 15

Wednesday 22 January 2014 11:00

This is actually quite useful now that you know that OP. Now you can either make your mother go to crazy places, or better yet, have fun having sex in crazy places. Twist the negative side into something you can benefit from!

anonymous_kenie 7

Wednesday 22 January 2014 11:03

Sounds like its time to start fooling your mother with spoofed text messages

Comments

birdybirdchirp 18

Wednesday 22 January 2014 15:50

just change you girlfriends name with one of your mom's friends and see what see does then.

allplayedout 20

Wednesday 22 January 2014 16:01

This is confusing. If your mother is "dropping by," she doesn't live with you, yes? And if that's the case, how is she reading your texts? And if it's through some kind of smartphone software that I'm just not familiar with, why not just tell her to get lost (in so many words) when she shows up unannounced after spying on your phone messages? Learn to defend your boundaries OP. Your girlfriend is probably suffering over your latent mommy issues too.

lienabakes 3

Wednesday 22 January 2014 16:03

How does your mother keep getting ur phone? What kind of person are you?

TallMist 32

Sunday 20 April 2014 21:53

There are many ways to read texts without looking at the phone the text was sent on/received on. Phone synching, internet, accounts, family plans, etc. etc. Blame OP's mom for being a control freak, not OP.

ZorroRooster 19

Wednesday 22 January 2014 16:07

Explain boundaries to her. Then, next time shes getting ready to get it on, cockblock her

LuapMere 11

Wednesday 22 January 2014 16:21

That's why my phone has a password.

loganHchrist 9

Wednesday 22 January 2014 16:29

What is a rubber?

cnparks1990 9

Wednesday 22 January 2014 16:29

somebody needs to choke a bi**h

JosephMoore77 8

Wednesday 22 January 2014 16:34

58, a condom

israelnotjacob 20

Wednesday 22 January 2014 17:22

It's downright laughable that you think just because someone is at the age of consent it means they're actually mature enough to be having sex. Only an immature person would think that's always true. I'd say most are not truly prepared for the responsibility at 18, and almost none at 16.