Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, a wasp stung my nipple. Twice. The swelling makes it look like I'm growing a third breast. FML
Today, I got a mosquito bite under each armpit. FML
Today, I got a bug bite on my boob. I scratched it so much it started bleeding so I put a bandaid on it. Turns out the band-aid had latex in it and I got an allergic reaction to it. The bug bite is still bleeding and the top half of my boob is swollen. FML
Today, I had the house to myself so I lay on my bed with a porno for some me time. I was just about to begin when I felt a sting. A mosquito bit me right on the shaft. I’m allergic to mosquitos, so now I’m sweating, covered in hives and my knob is swollen in a very bad, not fun way. FML
Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML
Today, I smacked a big mosquito that had landed on my leg. My boyfriend then said to me, "I wonder if their mouth snaps off when you slap them, and now it’s stuck in your skin." Thanks. Thanks a lot. FML
Today, I noticed a small bite on my arm. I couldn't figure out what it came from until I saw a small insect crawling out of my bra. FML
Today, I went to the doctor. I had a spider bite that had been getting progressively larger for days. I had been putting Neosporin on underneath the bandage that was on it. The doctor saw my wound and laughed. He said the spider bite was no big deal, but that I was allergic to the Neosporin. FML
Today, on the bright side, my boobs grew a size. Unfortunately, this was only after bed bugs decided to attack my nipples. FML
Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. FML
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Top comments
Grand_Cookie 21
Hehe! That's funny. I'm sure you have very nice boobies, so relax and tell him his junk is small like a normal person.
perdix 29
I'll never understand guys who have flat-chested girlfriends joking or complaining of their lack of boobage. If that bothers you so much, don't go out with her. Otherwise, shut your stupid mouth and love her for everything else.
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Comments (91)
raytyler26 16
Does he have bigger ones?
ShyAnn29 14
Good attempt at a joke!
mcaisse77 17
It's not a joke, it's a statement that has no evidence and isn't funny in the slightest.
whos_ur_daddy1 19
Haha she has bug bites
ShyAnn29 14
Sorry, I messed up, I know it wasn't a joke, I now look stupid lol
sabrinaacrow 26
I'm sure he's joking, don't worry about it :)
fuzz97 23
nah
Grand_Cookie 21
Hehe! That's funny. I'm sure you have very nice boobies, so relax and tell him his junk is small like a normal person.
HKCgrimmjow 15
Or kick his junk til it swells and say "hey look I can see it now!" BAM. I won
MyNameIsViet 15
Or replace "kick his junk until it swells" with "give him some Viagra"
RedPillSucks 31
and ex-lax
Scynistr 20
Reply "I would say the same if a mosquito bit yours.." :)
clemsi 20
or better yet "if your dick swells up like my boob did, then I might be able to feel you in me"
HKCgrimmjow 15
For some reason that crosses a line lmao I don't quite understand why.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Scratch at his nipple in bed while he sleeps and say, "Oops I missed. Your **** are just so big I got confused." Maybe that'll show him.
ileenefudge 29
What?
Morgiepoooh9822 17
I don't understand your ramblings .
Grand_Cookie 21
Drugs are baaaad, mmmkay.
EvilUndead 9
Look, regardless of your breast size, he's with you. Think about it.
jkmartinjk 16
Thinking... thinking... What's your point?
LaLa_xo 14
That was really insensitive of him. Tell him how his rude comment made you feel. Maybe you're better off with someone else.
fuzz97 23
oversensitive much?
perdix 29
So, you're saying that a mosquito bite made one of your mosquito bites look like a reat tit?
mfmylifesrsly 29
ermahgerdddd hi perdix!
perdix 29
#14, I think the swarm would prefer that you PM me a hello. Most are probably too new to remember you from the Bronze Age of FML ;)
perdix 29
#8, *real I really should proofread in that two-minute window, shouldn't I?
shadowedpixie 19
Ugh. My mosquito bites swell up like that too. I feel your pain. And that was really a terrible thing for your boyfriend to say. I hope you let him know that that was wrong. Sorry, OP.
LycaniaGarou 16
This brings the term "mosquito bites" to a whole new level