Hey Scratchy! - FML

Hey Scratchy!

By Anonymous - 03/09/2019 18:00

Today, I got a mosquito bite under each armpit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 498

You deserved it 173

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/09/2012 11:36 - United States - Hockessin

Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 501

You deserved it 2 373

By awkardtaco - 28/09/2018 13:30

Today, in spite of 2 different types of bug spray, underwear, and jeans, I discovered not one, but two mosquito bites on my vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 621

You deserved it 233

By Shitsuo01 - 30/12/2016 01:56 - United States - Douglasville

Today, I noticed a small bite on my arm. I couldn't figure out what it came from until I saw a small insect crawling out of my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 376

You deserved it 380

The climate is whack

By fax4voice3 - 03/03/2021 11:01 - United States - Greenwich

Today, it was an unusually warm day after many weeks of typical subfreezing temperatures, so my family and I went for a walk in the park. We all came back with mosquito bites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 207

By sprainedankle - 17/05/2013 20:49 - Saudi Arabia - Riyadh

Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. I slipped a ruler into it and started scratching to relieve the itch. Part of the ruler ended up snapping off inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 629

You deserved it 15 720

By julian1 - 19/08/2015 11:34 - United States - Orlando

Today, I decided to sunbathe in my backyard in an attempt to be healthy. The result? Insect bites over my body. Somehow, despite being fully clothed the entire time, my scrotum also received several bites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 058

You deserved it 10 552

LEAVE ME ALONE

By sleepless - 25/06/2019 20:00

Today, it's the third day that I can't sleep. Somewhere in my room, there's a mosquito craving for my blood, and every time I'm about to fall asleep, I can hear it flying around. I'm covered in bites, even in places that barely see the daylight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 819

You deserved it 168

By adamwilcockson - 18/09/2014 04:05 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I found out I'm allergic to bug repellent. So instead of having a couple of itchy bug bites, my skin feels like it's on fire and is violently itchy everywhere the repellent has touched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 869

You deserved it 2 971

By swervelol - 20/08/2017 23:15

Today, the mosquito infestation is so bad that multiple mosquitoes sucked the blood out of the steak I was grilling and promptly died on top of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 417

You deserved it 337

By Sally256 - 03/05/2009 15:53 - United States

Today, I was with my kids. We saw a tiny little bug and they started freaking out. Trying to show them that bugs are not scary, I picked it up. It bit me and now I have to go to the doctor because my hand is the size of a balloon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 649

You deserved it 27 015

Next

Top comments

jbuckets_404 38

Tuesday 3 September 2019 18:49

Guess your next deodorant brand oughta include DEET in its ingredients list.... :D

acmariner99 25

Tuesday 3 September 2019 19:07

ooh, ooh, ah, ah. Monkey noise or scratch relief, you decide!

Comments

jbuckets_404 38

Tuesday 3 September 2019 18:49

Guess your next deodorant brand oughta include DEET in its ingredients list.... :D

acmariner99 25

Tuesday 3 September 2019 19:07

ooh, ooh, ah, ah. Monkey noise or scratch relief, you decide!

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 3 September 2019 19:49

At least it's not on your crotch! Scratching your armpits makes you look like a garden-variety idiot like Mary Catherine Gallagher. If you scratch your crotch, they call you a pervert!

GamerChickxoxo 16

Wednesday 4 September 2019 1:55

facepalms...Boobs. Those are called your boobs dear

bullshtbrenda 2

Friday 6 September 2019 15:48

at least it's not on ur butt

DrSamba 7

Monday 9 September 2019 1:42

I get bitten a lot when I come back from the gym. Mosquitoes are attracted to CO2 and possibly sweat.

Keywords

Health Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Fight Family Kids Love Relatable Students Work Animals Birds Sleep Noise Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Cheating Pregnancy Relationship advice Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Sex Intimacy Food Revenge Cats

The Top

Today, my boyfriend came over. We'd planned on losing out virginities today. What we didn't plan on was having my 9-year-old brother and his friends making a video of "What teens do when no one is home." They taped the whole thing, including the five minutes it took us to get the condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 966

You deserved it 931

Today, I was at the hairdresser's getting a trim. The lady doing my hair commented on how beautiful and luscious my hair was, which made me feel really good. I later overheard her telling her colleague that hair as nice as mine was wasted on someone with a face like mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 027

You deserved it 3 364

The Top

Today, I found a website that lets you write an email to yourself from "the past". I used my boss's address, and wrote a long email about how much I hate him, signed from me. It worked, and he'll receive it in 6 months, after I move away. He's already received the confirmation email, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 171

You deserved it 59 072

Today, it was my first day at my new school. I've never been the new girl before, so I asked my best friend for advice. She said, "Whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, be yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 180

You deserved it 5 491

Today, in the middle of explaining over the phone to my crush how I felt about him, I got a text from his best friend, who was apparently with him at the time. It said, "He doesn't like you, get over it. Stop rambling." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 105

You deserved it 6 104

Today, i discovered I can only get an erection in the presence of a real woman. My days of busting nuts alone are over. Except I don't have a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 272

Today, I had to cancel my wedding because my fiancé is so hungover from his bachelor party, he's throwing up all over the place, can't stand up straight and is calling me by the stripper's name he met yesterday night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 226

You deserved it 5 148

Today, I was told a job offer that would've changed my life had been taken back, due to one part in the onboarding process. I’ve already sold my car, ended the lease to my apartment, and purchased a non refundable plane ticket. With little to no money and the Christmas break coming soon, I feel like I’m going to die with no backup plan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 156