Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I phoned one of the IT guys upstairs for help with my PC. He said it would only take a few minutes; and would just fix it through a direct connection from his computer to mine. Hours later, I was feeling horny, and quickly checked out an adult website. Mr IT Guy was still connected. FML
Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
Today, in a holiday cottage, I was a little horny so I decided to watch some porn. An hour later, the owner barged in, screaming that I was not to use her internet for such things, that I’m a "loose slut" and that I'm "going to hell". The bitch must somehow have been illegally spying on my internet usage. FML
Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML
Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML
Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML
Today, I told my mum that the reason I hadn't contacted her for 3 days was that my internet was broken, when in reality I'd gone off for a dirty weekend with the guy I'm having sex with. I forgot my older sister worked for my internet provider. FML
Today, I went to my friend's house because his family was having a move away party for him. Everything was going good until his dad decided to give a toast. Including an anecdote about how he walked in on us watching porn together. FML
Today, my wife and I were Skyping, when she decided to put on a "show" for me. Seconds before she was about to climax, we lost internet connection. FML
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Top comments
Cbizzlez 10
"Hey can I get a glass of water" "Sure, can I get you anything else?" (**** music starts to play)
SixthSinEnvy 39
Couldn't pay the bill, huh?
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Comments (206)
funnyguy2697 6
Thats kinda creepy if they're just some stranger
natsaysheyyy 16
Well, hopefully you at least used a condom!
OneNightStander 6
That's awesome. I wish I was the technician!
joshiepo0 18
Welcome to most one night stands.
tialeanne 19
Not any different than one night stands, except for the alcohol part!
gc327072 30
I can imagine that guy back at the depot! "Ey bro, how was your day?" "Uhh… good…"
sniken 14
I'm guessing he'll return with a customer satisfaction survey!
gman90210 18
Same thing you get at a club, bar, store or where ever. No difference
Dontbelikeme 2
Actually the "alcohol part" is the biggest part of a one night stand, you literally just let a stranger get paid to have sex with you lol you should just be an escort since you have no morals
Mortoli 30
They gotta give that guy a raise I wonder if he messed something else up in hopes for a return lol
nemcali 34
She fancied him and it was mutual so what's your problem you sanctimonious judgemental moron?
HowAreYouToday 34
I'm having a hard time trying to figure out why having tour router replaced *and* sex is a bad thing...
CareFace 16
Hehehe a "hard" time...
ScaughtieHolden 11
It's an FML because OP found out she is a who...has no self control.
girI 20
Well, perhaps technicians, (like electricians and plumbers), get paid at an hourly rate, and depending on how long it took it could've made the bill more expensive?
samcro3 8
Let your freak flag fly, girl!
beeferjay 34
ROLFKOPTER
SixthSinEnvy 39
Couldn't pay the bill, huh?
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
Someone Loves Useless Touching
gc327072 30
The router wasn't putting out enough signal, so, yeah.
mmaflake 19
Right
SomeRandomGuy15 18
Well... That escalated quickly.
Starcatch77 20
How will she "never fully understand" how they had sex? I mean if she wasn't drunk then she must remember how it happened...
BellaBelle_fml 23
No, she said, "…and for some reason I'll never fully understand…" She didn't understand the reason why it happened. Not how it happened.
dontpanic_fml 32
Still, I'm with 30 in that I'm not sure what's not to understand. I mean...she was there. They wanted to have sex. They had sex.
NessieMonster188 17
30: Mind blowing sex can actually temporarily erase a woman's memory
mmaflake 19
Give
nemcali 34
She probably does not normally sleep with strangers and she does not understand why this time was different
chelsearenaeee 16
Slutty much?
pussystank 18
I really fine this FML to be scary though. I really hope op doesn't get STDs but just in case she becomes positive there making Vaginal creams out of bee's venom *ouch lol* for stuff like that it maybe painful but its worth it.
evig_fml 16
What?
ms_YoungMula 8
Wtf did I just read ^^
TheGoldStandard 6
Are you ****** lasy?
SWC_Penguin 17
I'm still not sure if the OP is complaining or bragging.
Cbizzlez 10
"Hey can I get a glass of water" "Sure, can I get you anything else?" (**** music starts to play)
iskatepeople 5
Haha, that's exactly how I imagined it
lowshadows 21
I'm thinking "Careless Whisper" by George Michaels used in this scene.
firefighter925 18
damn im gonna start giving my girlfriend a glass of water and see where it goes lol
RAGE5119 9
She'll prob be like uhhhh....thanks...>.>
420Zombie 17
here's some water.... why are your clothes still on?
mr_sarcastic416 29
bow chicka bow wow
SirBreaksalot 9
I have a feeling that the technician will start asking for water at every house he visits...
xiaodoggiie 5
And to think it all started from a glass of plain water. Lol
TheNewGuy03 28
He's 2013's version of "the milkman." Technician Titty-Pleaser, at your service.
therealafroninga 10
That's some high quality H2O.
notforbirds 9
Plot twist: It wasn't plain water, it was date rape.
LeafsGuy92 10
It was definitely the ice cubes... Bringing it to a whole new temperate (; Something had to cool of the heated situation!
soldier317 2
Was it water or Vodka? Lol
ThatOneDrummer 8
And that, kids, is the story of how I met your mother...
EssieWinter 9
I guess you could say he was thirsty, in every sense of the word.
Pleonasm 35
You just couldn't wait to have his data packets in you, could you?
Cbizzlez 10
He offered an upgraded service plan, she couldn't refuse
therealafroninga 10
Wrong place, see reply above.