Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML
Today, after years of telling my boyfriend I don't do anal, I agreed to try it once just to get him to stop whining about it. He was so gung-ho that he tried to force it in without doing enough "relaxing preparation" and he split the muscle around my ring. Now I need surgery. FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, but when I told him anal takes prep, like stretching and lubing, and you can’t just jam a knob up there like in a porno, he lost all interest, asked for a blowjob, and when I said no, he started sulking. I struggle to remember why I’m with him. FML
Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times, he told me, "Why? It feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence, then he then replied, "I'm not gay, I swear." FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, as we were getting ready for sex, I told my man to fuck my face, and it was great until he shoved my face in his ass, yelling, "Eat my ass! Eat it!" I had to explain that ass eating is not something I'm comfortable with. FML
Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Smeelover27 15
I was going to make a joke, butt **** it.
amanda_smith54 4
You should have just been honest and told him you didn't want to Haha
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (131)
amanda_smith54 4
You should have just been honest and told him you didn't want to Haha
inzunza 5
Kinky
anythingmustbe 18
Butt maybe she didn't want to hurt his feelings?
pickles1994 18
I don't think Perdix would take no as an answer...
AKGirlinSD 20
I like how Perdix was in the user name. He has a reputation, being sarcastic and putting people in their places.
isallwaysme 27
dont be so butthurt.
Paco_el_Taco 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Don't knock it til you try it!
XxDevilxXGt 26
Don't try it until you cleanse your insides thoroughly.
Sputnikspak 13
It's pretty easy to be clean. But you have to really be in a certain mood to enjoy anal (if you're female - no prostate to play with), because it takes a LOT of being relaxed. I've never had to deal with anything gross. Your rectum isn't that dirty, unless you are literally about to poop. If you want to be extra-clean, an enema works, though some can be irritating and cause cramps. But putting some distilled water up there can help clean you out a bit. And don't go from ass to vag. Or ass to mouth. Bad idea. Also: condoms, if you're still squeamish. And lots of lube. Baby wipes are handy, too.
wlddog 14
That was way more info then I thought I would read tonight on FML.
honeybadgerDG2S 2
Or you can just not give shit
pedinhuh 23
Or maybe just take a shower with your partner before the action? It works as well.
HowieDoIt 21
Your name is pure genius, I love it!
teddy4nyy 13
*waits for Perdix to comment*
dalink 24
Waiting for perdix...
the_smart_way 10
*digs out binoculars an searches for Perdix*
B5B0N35 18
he's a legend
SirEskimo 13
I was going to post a legitimate comment, but then I saw your username and my mind went blank. Good stuff
BulldogHoops 14
What is it? The new app only lets me see "think im dating."
TheBrochure 22
26- "think i'm dating perdix"
RobinKCS 9
Think I'm Dating Perdix
kissandcontrol01 20
#26 -- if I turn my phone sideways I can see the whole name. Now, go try it out!
profligatesoul 18
Anal. Not as fun when you're receiving.
btstig 11
You have been waiting for the perfect FML to drop that bomb. Patience pays off my friend.
dalink 24
You could probably find a better pic for it but its still funny as hell.
mbuck87 19
Maybe that's what he wanted all along?
Tempest151 11
Yea either you're going to catch him posing in the mirror in your clothes with his shit tucked in or he's very open minded.
Sputnikspak 13
33 - Being male and enjoying anal sex does not make you inclined to crossdress, nor does it make you gay. You somehow managed to be homophobic AND misogynistic in one comment. *slow clap*
AKGirlinSD 20
Actually, you're on to something! Most men who want to give anal also like to receive it as well. But they rarely admit that.
drller331 4
If he is game you should at least be open to experimentation
zandalee 19
...why?
valleyshooter 8
Why not?
enormouselephant 15
9- if I'm game, are YOU into experimentation? I'd love to shove things in your ass.
buddy51 23
He's gonna love it! Lube, relax, more lube- best orgasms ever for both of you! Go for it OP, it's good to experiment and be open to new variations!
Smeelover27 15
I was going to make a joke, butt **** it.
HeartOfLead 24
Cum on man, that was just gay!
Hillaryy789 9
I'm kind of anal about gay jokes.
finnrambo 13
Gay jokes just stretch me out
xtremlysean 6
Classic.
amisenho 11
Xtremlysean, you just put the "ass" in "classic".