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By sucks at sucking - / Saturday 15 December 2012 00:27 / United Kingdom - Bournemouth
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By  imperfections55  |  1

watch more porn, read cosmo, lol just ask :D

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  aussieaccents  |  7

Least now you know you won't be any good at being a prostitute.

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Yeah because good sex tricks are learnt from porn movies... Grow up, porn actresses fake most of time. You're in for a major disappointment if you think that your sex life should relate to some fantasies. That was incredibly unfeeling and insulting of her (hopefully ex) boyfriend. First of all it was her first time doing that so he couldn’t expect her to be perfect, secondly if you like things a certain way, you TALK about it and tell your boyfriend / girlfriend how you like things to be done. The guy is a dickhead.

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  AKGirlinSD  |  20

I'm with 59. Sexual desires and needs must be talked amongst each other in a relationship. Otherwise, people become unhappy and unsatisfied and both get to a point of no return. On my first date, I told my now boyfriend what I liked and didn't like. I know that's ballsy but no one likes wasting each others' time (no, we didn't have sex for weeks when we were first a couple).

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  Sputnikspak  |  13

Pretty much what I'd say. I have an active sex life with my partner of eight years and that's largely because we communicate about it in a respectful manner. And it's managed to survive some doozies (like libido-killing antidepressants, surgeries, and being stuck living with parents when we both went back to university). I'd talk about this with your boyfriend. And if he's too immature to apologize and treat you respectfully, time to look for someone who will.

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  tosch678  |  2

But it's HIS penis so he knows what feels good... And I don't see how an actress can "fake" a blow job.... The rest of it yea... But that would be like "faking" driving to work but still getting in the car and still getting to work.

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  deliki  |  11

I agree, watching porn can defiantly increase once skills in the bedroom, but you also have to have some to begin with.. I have given lessons to people on how to give head, and it's easy to just say what to do, but they have to understand too..

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  Nordah  |  14

84: You're right about it being his. Key word, though. Everybody is different. If he doesn't respond to her with his likes and dislikes, then nobody gets anywhere. And since he was a jerk, I'm sure she's not exactly itching to ever do it again. Also, porn is all about the visual. Male porn stars are valued not only on their size, but their ability to get it up at the drop of a hat, and maintain it under pressure and on a set, stuff like that. As for the woman, some of the stuff she does is more for looks than for pleasure. So while it might look like it would feel amazing (and honestly, seeing somebody do something crazy does help), it may not always feel good in practice.

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  luminos77  |  3

Good sex moves and techniques are definitely learned from watching porn. I'm not talking about any of the bogus things, just the moves. You sound like a virgin.

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  chell1894  |  13

I think 59 meant the men fake "having the best blowjob ever" for the camera when really it was just blah. The blowjob is for camera not actual pleasure

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  Airman1988  |  9

It's a fireman rub his helmet and he will spit on you. (Southpark reference)

By  Zephianaxo  |  7

Tell him it's a coincidence that he said that, and you nickname it 'the shotgun'.... no?... ok...

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  EpicSquishii  |  21

llama is spelled with two L's

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  EpicSquishii  |  21

Squishii is how my nephew used to spell my nickname. He thought it was my real name until he was like 9, so I spell it this way out of affection for him, since I haven't seen him for a few years. Usernames aren't always spelled incorrectly, lovebug

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  EpicSquishii  |  21

Of course it is. I have a reason for it, though. It's my nickname and has been for 15 years at least. It's obviously spelled with two I's on purpose. "lama" isn't an obviously purposeful mispelling. It'd take an absolute shit-for-brains not to see the difference

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  BellaBelle_fml  |  23

How do you know it wasn't spelled correctly for them? Maybe they have a story to go with their choice of spelling llama in their username? You don't know now do you? Shut up.

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  EpicSquishii  |  21

It's not spelled "correctly" for anyone. He could be spelling "lama" as a joke, though if he was he easily could have jumped to his own defense in explanation. As it is, my correcting his spelling is so low on the scale of Things That Matter, that I honestly am very, very entertained that so many people are as enraged as they are. Have a coke and a smile and chill the fuck out :)

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  karlee333  |  11

Lol, I love it when people contradict themselves on comments, thinking they sound all smart and shit when really they're just sounding more stupid with each comment they post. xD

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  karlee333  |  11

That, and she got all pissed when people were getting enraged over her spelling, when she commented first about correcting someone spelling. Fucking hypocrites xD

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  EpicSquishii  |  21

I think, darling, that you're continuing to use the word "hypocrite" incorrectly. I readily acknowledged that my username was mispelled. going so far as to state, verbatim, "of course it is." I also said that Mr. Whostolemylama might well have mispelled his as a joke though if he had he could have easily pointed that out, had he cared to. I am not in any way being a hypocrite, nor am I "enraged", though I find it adorable that your vernacular is so limited that you can't think of a different way to say "upset" when I obviously said it about you lot first. I don't lay any claim to that particular adjective though. Use it all you want, doll BTW, "Chill the fuck out" and -paraphrasing here- "this really doesn't matter" have never, in the history of ever, been indicative of rage. Why can't everyone just calm their tits and enjoy the FML? One little correction has all of you silly bitches on a rampage.

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  EpicSquishii  |  21

Oh woops, 107, you said "all pissed", not "enraged". Haha my bad. Was just skimming the comments, it's an awful habit. Where, though, did I gove any indication that I was "all pissed" at you lot having PMS-Induced bitchfits about my 7-word sentence? I think I stated it was quite adorable, actually. If anythibg I'm pissed that the American public school system completely fucked you up regarding what the word "hypocrisy" means. It's really not fair to you :/ I'm so sorry.

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  EpicSquishii  |  21

My foot hurts a little bit. I stubbed my toe on a rolling rack this morning.

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  EpicSquishii  |  21

150 you made the same mistake twice :) Nice to be part of the club, isn't it?

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  EpicSquishii  |  21

150 also, it's "oops", not "opps". We can do this all day, if you'd like. I don't mind at all

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  Sawarski  |  13

152 Stop digging your hole and shut up. You are absolutely a hypocrite whether you think so or not. The fact that you are using big and uncommon words does not help you. Please, just stop and leave it alone you've already proved your stupidity and hypocritical ways.

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  karlee333  |  11

Mm, you quite remind me of this chick that I hate at work. She tends to overuse the words 'adorable, darling, doll, hun,' etc , like you. Try expanding your vocabulary a little bit , please? And 148- those words weren't even in my post...? Where is this apparent 'grammatical error' present?

By  blcksocks  |  19

Maybe OP just sucks at foreplay. Also, Foreplay isn't the same for guys as it is for girls.

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  AKGirlinSD  |  20

Let me guess, you're a hit it and quit and it kind of guy? Foreplay makes both partners cum even harder since there is so much anticipation built up. A quickie is only fun when you're on a time limit and super horny.

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  AKGirlinSD  |  20

^Not to boast my sexual life on here but my boyfriend and I do foreplay on each other every time unless we are doing a quickie. And, no, it's not the same foreplay every time. We switch it up. The one thing I only know to be true is that men will orgasm faster than a woman. Foreplay helps the guy last a lot longer if they are going to have sexual intercourse.

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  cr3ativity  |  15

well the dude was embarrassed. I mean, I'd be as red as a tomato, if someone ever just stared at my penis.

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  Kilv  |  13

I am really thankful for this horrible blowjob, has said no one, ever. OPs bf shouldn't have told her that way, but I still think having boring/bad intercourse with someone is nothing to be thankful of.

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  99megster  |  15

36- 10 isnt saying that OP should be thankful for the bad blowjob, 10 is saying (or at least this is how i took it) that OP should be thankful that he has a girlfriend who is willing to try! OP really is a dick if he expects her to give an amazing blowjob on her first time. I mean, come on. She can't read minds. If OP likes it a specific way, then he should have the patience to hint at it and help her discover how to please him.

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  happle  |  21

36- He should be thankful for the effort she's putting into it. She doesn't HAVE to do that for him. I certainly wouldn't if my boyfriend said that to me.

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